My dad was my primary caregiver before age 5. My mom worked days and my dad worked nights, so I spent the days with my dad. My brother, dad and I did everything together-- cooked breakfast, watched cartoons. My dad put on Monty Python a lot, and I grew up watching old British comedies. We also listened to a lot of music together-- my dad's favorites, Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, folk and rock music. He introduced us to his hobbies and interests. He read us books, took us to the park. Sometimes we'd go on the train to Manhattan so we could go to Central Park. He taught me to read before kindergarten as well.

On top of all this, my dad wasn't a progressive hippie type-- he was an immigrant from the former Soviet Union with a Borat mustache. He was a classically macho guy, served in the military there and was the type to say things like "You're not a man if you've never been in the military." He had so many excuses to be a piece of crap, but that wasn't his natural inclination.

To this day, he says "The happiest time in my life was when my children were small." He is getting to experience that again with my nephew, and he is my nephew's favorite person, just like he was/is my favorite person.

Whenever people called me pretty or smart, I'd respond with "I know". I was 4/5 or younger. People would laugh at me when I said "I know" so I felt embarrassed about it by age 6. My dad told me to not be embarrassed because you know that you're smart and pretty.

I used to think my dad was a regular dad, until I got older and started to notice how shitty most other dads are. Eventually, I realized most other men are shitty. It was shocking to me, and for a long time I repressed my feelings and thoughts. Deep down, I believed men were far more predatory, dangerous and fucked up than women are, but I felt I was somehow not allowed to freely express that. It was easy to do, because society constantly gaslights women into giving men the benefit of the doubt.

I know that men love to accuse women of having daddy issues whenever we have a problem with their behavior. Like "you're damaged goods, it's not us". Men can't accuse me of having daddy issues in the typical way, so sometimes they like to suggest that I am a spoiled brat, daddy's girl. It doesn't matter if your dad was good, bad or mediocre-- they'll try to stick that on you, like who your dad was or is reflects on you. They try to deflect from themselves by attempting to debase you.