So I figured I’d make this post after a recent one where a 30 y/o man was lusting after 19 y/os and had a post history is indicative of pedophilic tendencies. Most men with these tendencies aren’t going to be upfront about their fetishes because they know deep down they are not acceptable.

 

1. He describes his “type” as being innocent, petite, big eyed, and/or pale. Along with this, he finds tattoos and piercings a turnoff and wants a woman that wears very little make up. He might recommend that you wear less. He also might like it when girls wear dresses or have a “cutesy” / “girly” style / look innocent. This one is easy because you can straight up inquire about what his ‘type’ is or if he finds x, y, & z attractive.

 

2. He uses words such as vile, disgusting, gross, contaminated etc for things that are not physically so. By this, I mean he uses this kind of vocabulary to describe situations in which there is nothing “gross” present (smells, tastes, physics sensations). It’s a kind of moral disgust. This is a little more subtle, but if you’re having good/long conversations it should come up. It just has to be more on your radar. If you ask what his biggest red flag or turn off is in a woman, he might say “trashiness” or “tattoos” or “dressing / looking / acting slutty”.

 

3. Similarly, he might also be more sensitive to “germs” and “contamination”. This doesn’t necessarily mean they are OCD in keeping their house clean, but they don’t like to get their hands dirty. They are beyond repulsed by the topic of menstruation. They might be obsessed with keeping things pure. He will also be more into virgins and might inquire about how many men you’ve been with.

 

4. You have to learn his take on age gap relationships. This might be a lot more difficult to determine, but a good start is, how much older than you is he? If around 5 years, you could ask something like “so am I the youngest girl you’ve dated?”. You can also tell a story about an age gap relationship or something (if you can find a way to make it relevant) and see how he responds to it. If he is quick to express his revulsion to them, that’s a good sign. If you are still unclear of his exact opinion because he stayed mostly silent, there is a good possibility that he is not morally opposed to them.

 

5. He is very concerned with status and material things. This is not always an indicator, and may not always be obvious if he can’t actually afford nice material things. If he doesn’t have an abundance of status indicators (cars, watches, etc) you should determine whether or not he is embarrassed by his lack of, because this means he is still very status oriented (just fails at building his). Among men, young, beautiful women has become a sign of status. So if he is concerned with where he falls on the hierarchy he may be much more likely to lust after younger women ESPECIALLY if he doesn’t already have the other status indicators because he feels the young woman will elevate and validate him as a man much more quickly.

 

This is all I’ve got for now, so feel free to add if you want. I may add more if I come up with anything else.

EDIT: I also want to add for the male lurkers that this is the reality of our sub. Our collective experiences of men have led us to this place where we have to devise strategies, not just to find DECENT men, but to learn how to steer clear of men that are actually damaging to women. How to weed out the abusers and the manipulators and the liars and the closeted pedophiles. How to weed out the men that are turned on by a woman's pain and that need to continually up the ante on what is "taboo" for them. How to weed out men that want to see you degraded and demeaned and turn you into nothing more than a useless little sex bot (but only for them, of course).