My husband and I moved in together a few weeks before he proposed (he had already asked my parents for their blessing before I moved into his apartment, but the "formal" engagement didn't happen until a few weeks later because he had special plans for his proposal). We got married this summer and I can truly say that he is the love of my life :)

When we first moved in together, there were no surprises at all because I already knew him so well. Life was actually easier because I didn't have to cook, clean and do groceries by myself all the time. When I was living with roommates, I would often eat random stuff because it was so tiring to cook for myself everyday. Now that my husband also cooks half the time, I'm eating healthier and eating less takeout. We both care about making the other person's life easier and so this makes living together really easy.

Here is a list of things you can look out for to see if you and your SO would be compatible as life partners:

  1. Do your core values align (i.e. religion, spirituality, political beliefs, etc.)? How would you both like to raise your children (if that is what you both want)?
  2. How do you both view money (i.e. are you a spender or a saver)? How would you both like to sort out finances once you are married? How much debt do each of you have, and how do you plan on tackling this once you two are married?
  3. What are your life goals/dreams? What are your partner's life goals/dreams? Are these goals compatible (i.e. career, lifestyle, kids or no kids)?
  4. Have you both lived with roommates before? Living with roommates teaches you to respect other people's spaces, to divide chores, pay bills together, and be flexible with other people's living habits. I have friends who have never lived with roommates (they only lived with family, then alone) and they had a lot of trouble adjusting to living with their SOs because they were very rigid on how they would like their home to be like.
  5. Spend lots of time at each other's places. It is nearly impossible for someone to fake being clean every time his girlfriend comes over. I saw that my husband's apartment was cleaner than my place lol. My room is always messy and I told him that if he lives with me, he'll just have to accept this. Thankfully living with him has forced me to be more clean because I have to be considerate for him too, and not just look out for myself.
  6. Discuss expectations for your everyday lives. Will you have friends come over frequently? Do you want some time alone to relax, instead of spending all your free time together? How often would you like to see each other's families? What is your daily routine like?
  7. Travel together!!! Travelling brings out people's true character. It shows how someone reacts under stress, how someone plans, and how they deal with unexpected things. My husband and I didn't get tired of each other, even though we were together 24/7 for 1 week in a foreign country. By the end of the trip, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, experiencing adventures together. We had so much fun together, we didn't argue, and he even became awfully sick for the past few days and I had to take care of him. We functioned like a team of best friends and it was honestly my favourite trip ever. Even now during quarantine, we don't get tired of each other. We'll just lounge around together, while I read and he plays video games with his friends. Even when there is nothing new to talk about, we just feel so comfortable with each other.
  8. Watch how he treats his family, especially the women in his life. My husband is very close with his family and they are so loving towards one another. I am also very family oriented, so this was a huge thing for me.
  9. What are his views on women? Does he recognize his privilege as a man? My husband is very pro-women. We both used to watch porn, but when I discovered how awful the industry is and asked that he stop watching it, he did. We frequently have discussions on feminism and sexism and he is always eager to learn more.
  10. When you communicate issues, does he actually take this into consideration? For example, I told my husband that I didn't like when he did this one thing. He actually listened and stopped doing it! Communicating only works if you the two of you are already in a healthy relationship with mutual respect and love.
  11. How does he act during times of hardship? I am a sexual assault and rape survivor and I now suffer from PTSD. My husband has actually witnessed me at the worst points of my life, and he has done nothing but support me this whole time. When we just got engaged and I didn't have insurance yet (I just started my job), I didn't want to get a therapist because of how expensive it was. He paid for my therapy sessions because he told me he cares about my mental health and well-being.
  12. Does he support your dreams? I wanted to study abroad while we were just dating and he was 100% supportive. We had a temporary LDR and it only further solidified how much I wanted to marry him. I want to do my masters next year and he is so on board, even though this means that I'll be losing half my income temporarily.
  13. Is he generous with his time, money and in bed? A man who is generous in daily life will be generous in bed too. Does he go out of his way to make your life easier, or do sweet little things for you?
  14. Finally, is he committed to you? If you find yourself having to beg for commitment (whether that is to become exclusive, or to get married) then he is just not into you and you need to leave.
  15. Does he make you feel loved everyday? My husband always compliments me. We always cuddle. He always tells me he loves me. We work different shifts, so when he's at work he'll always text me "good morning" or "how are you?" texts. He'll buy me random sweets or my favourite food on his way back from work, or while he's doing errands, just because! He is just so sweet :)

Feel free to add more if I missed anything important!