I think I’m a LVW?

2020-05-08T00:24:16+00:00

You have value. You also so incredibly hurt and wounded. Heal. Be kind to yourself. Pay attention to your needs and how to love yourself. Your value is not based on how appealing you are to men. Remember that.

2340000 · 2020-05-08T00:28:06+00:00

You're going through a rough patch right now... Which has nothing to do with your value.

You had a horrible husband who mistreated you. You're battling cancer.

I read your post history and sis you have a master's degree🎓 (congrats) Nonetheless, you're struggling and there's nothing to be ashamed about.

You have infinite value. The only person you're competing against is yourself. Ask yourself what value looks like in YOUR life.

Also, OP I'm pained to hear what you're going through. I'm sending my love to you. If you wanna talk it through I'll chat with you❤

ErikaNaumann · 2020-05-08T01:01:11+00:00

Don't even think about men right now. They are the bane of our existence. What they do to us is not an indication of our value, it's an indication of THEIR value.

Focus on yourself, your battle with cancer. This is what matters the most right now. Find the strength for this opponent now. The rest will come later. Love yourself, heal yourself.

Stay strong sister! 💪

FDSFemmeFatale · 2020-05-08T03:32:49+00:00

NO, NO, NO.

See, this is why I wince a little when people equate value with material and external trappings like a degree, a nice car, owning a home, low weight, etc.

For women, those are NOT what make us valuable. It's our resilience, intellect, spiritual strength, communication skills, kindness, compassion. Those other things? We have disabled women here. Autistic women. Mentally ill women. Plus size women. Poor women. Thin women. Genius women. Queer women. Women of color.

WE ARE ALL HIGH VALUE BECAUSE WE BRING INNER BEAUTY TO THE TABLE.

We are women! We make cents to a man's dollar. We have a harder time getting assets, and we have way more burdens on our bodies. The standard is different for us, and we are inherently valuable while we rise up and demand better from life. And yes, there have been some weirdos in here who are exclusionary of some. That's their burden to bear, not yours.

Sister, you are strong and thriving as best as you can. Please don't doubt your worth, and don't let women or others dependent on outside approval or trappings dictate your value. You are truly doing all that you can under trying circumstances, and I applaud you.

AfraidofFollowers · 2020-05-08T05:30:38+00:00

You are not low value. I hope you find peace and health. The wealth comes later.

A man will only distract you and prevent you from getting to your goals.

If one happens to stroll by, you’ll be ready for him. Just as long as you focus on yourself right now. Good luck with your future. It’s one step at a time.

xoxochannamasalaxoxo · 2020-05-08T00:19:17+00:00

You're suffering the syndrome of believing men treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You're deriving your value from your shitty ex.

Making mistakes doesn't make you a low value person. And that's all you did, you made a mistake by listening to society & keeping your standards low and trusting a man with your money. You made the same mistake countless other women have made for decades.

That doesn't make you low.

There's ways to deal with medical debt. Doesn't it get forgiven eventually? I know it'll hurt your credit but I've met a few people with medical debt and they're thriving. I don't think they can force you to pay it back and you can make your credit better in other ways, look up the laws around it.

I'm sorry you have cancer & debt because of it. It must be really difficult to imagine living a happy life eventually. But you can make it happen. Find a few hobbies you can find joy in right now and focus on that. You need to enter the mindset of 'one day at a time'. Your #1 job right now is getting healthy. That's it. It's not time to tackle your debt. Do what you gotta do to get to the hospital & stay alive.

When you start getting overwhelmed by hopelessness start writing down lists of things you could do to make it better. Even if they seem impossible/outlandish. You might get to the point one day where something you thought would be impossible you realize is easy by breaking it down into steps.

wasitmethewholetime · 2020-05-08T12:54:01+00:00

Thank you for these responses. It’s been several years of just heartache after heartache. After he left, my ex took our dog to live with him and his AP. Then he had to euthanize my fur baby and he apparently announced it on Fakebook but didn’t even factor me into it or let me know he’d done it, even though that was my baby for 14 years. That was just heartbreaking. Last spring both my parents died suddenly within 3 weeks of each other.

I’m physically, emotionally and psychologically burned out. I have no interest in getting some stressful job and spending what time I have left accruing meaningless material things. I have a masters degree in English so it’s not really that valuable. And at this point, I’ll be working mostly to pay off debt accrued from my ex’s financial deception and sudden disappearance and medical stuff. Cancer is quite a financial destroyer, especially when you’re alone.

I just want a decent job that pays the bills to a point where I’m not stressed out. I don’t need much in the way of material things to be happy. Maybe enough extra for some nice skincare products and a little beach trip once in a while. But given the circumstances I’m in, I’ll never really recover my finances in my lifetime. But that still makes me LVW on paper.

Neorago · 2020-05-08T15:45:41+00:00

You are not low value because bad things happened to you and you were dealt a cruel life. As long as you aren't hurting anyone or depending on them for your happiness (something you can always change/improve on) then you're not low value. Rooting for you!

Title	I think I’m a LVW?
Author	wasitmethewholetime
Upvotes	31
Comments	32
Date	May 7, 2020 6:51 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gfcmo7/i_think_im_a_lvw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-think-im-a-lvw.676756 https://theredarchive.com/post/676756

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