My kids father cheated on me in 2016 a year after our daughter was born. So the month of her birthday, he began sleeping with his coworker. I had been in the hospital for a couple days and my mom watched the kids. She told me he came home really late. I found the texts between them and kicked him out. I spent the night with him the day before thanksgiving and he told me he wanted us to be together. He left me that night for her.

I took him back and he proceeded to go to a hotel room with her. (She later confirmed this years later.)

I cried all night. So I weakly took him back again by making him quit his job. We ended up getting subsidized housing and moved to a new house.

We weren't in a good place when he cheated. Financially I was stressed out as he was the only one working. My daughter also had a birth injury that took most of my energy. So we were always fighting.

After a couple years I was never able to move past the cheating. I was paranoid all the time. Even tho he did try to do all he could to be transparent.

I just couldn't do it. I didnt love him anymore.

Now because of the kids hes always trying to be involved in my house and linger when he drops the kids off. But he uses alot of narcissistic gaslighting tactics.

He always tries to interject in my life asking if I'm seeing someone.

Anyway yesterday he was telling me how he regrets cheating on me and wish hed never done it so he could be with me and that he cries thinking about me and blah blah. I dont feel a thing but satisfaction.

Maybe he feels a fraction of how I felt when I was in the hospital and he was screaming her. Or when I stayed up all night on his daughters birthday waiting for him to come home. (He worked that day supposedly. ) Or how I felt Thanksgiving watching his location when he left his families house to be with her. He didnt even celebrate it with his daughter. Or when I was crying hysterically as he wouldnt answer his phone when I could see his on his way to her city. And him hearing me crying and telling me he was at a hotel for a birthday party but really was fucking her all night. Or even seeing the texts between them to confirm he was sleeping with her when he told me there was nothing going on. Or finding out he never used a condom with her and slept with me after her...

Anyway, I'm sorry his was all over the place but thank you for letting me vent.