Is mariage a must in the long run?

holodeckdeathtrap · 2020-01-18T16:09:11+00:00

For me, yes. I don't want kids but I'm not going to share resources or make life plans with someone who isn't family. Marriage is a risk. If you can't put pen to paper and take that risk with me, we're wasting each others' time.

Reddit is full of posts about women picking up and moving for their boyfriends/fiances, etc, whereupon the man meets some next woman and she's stuck there with no job, no social network for support, and no legal recourse to get her investment back.

That's not going to be me.

Mollzor · 2020-01-18T09:57:39+00:00

For me it would be necessary if we were to live together, own a house or apartment or have kids. Because then I would want the legal safety net.

Although, I think I would prefer to get married but not live together, because I don't want to live with someone else ever again.

theghettogirl · 2020-01-18T08:14:58+00:00

Depends on your goals and what you want. I've seen long term partnerships that have lasted longer than most marriages. The point is to find someone that respects you and values you. Not someone who thinks "hurr hurr make me a sandwich" is a valid way to treat someone

Basically, be with someone that makes you happy and treats you with respect long term (not just after when he gets what he wants). Not someone who is nice as long as you put out or look young and pretty, and just nods away until you stop talking. My parents have been together for a long time, and they haven't always had a perfect time together, but they were able to figure out how to get through hardships and lift each other up. The people I've dated have had qualities I'd seen in my parents relationship, but they were always after an edge or a final point. I felt like I was in a simulator where they only put in enough tokens to see if I would put out.

Respect, security, trust and friendship are things you should look for in someone.

ny-lady · 2020-01-18T14:53:03+00:00

I could live the rest of my days being a 'forever' girlfriend. I dont care about that piece of paper and not cohabitate with a man ever again. Be together but live a part.

Forever girlfriend is not a bad thing all the time if your end goal is different. Its bad when you're looking for marriage/family. I want a long term companion.

Not to say i would never get married or live with a guy Ever again but its not my end goal. A companion is and we roll with what works for us.

Many being together living a part relationships last.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-01-19T15:25:27+00:00

Nope. I've been divorced and broke off an engagement several years after that. I will not get married or have a kid again. They were horrible experiences and they were with OKAY/AVERAGE men, not abusive, lazy total pieces of shit.

The problem I am running into is how badly men in their late 30s and on up into their 50s want to get married and have kids. It's a dealbreaker to them, so I can't even date them seriously. Bro, you waited too long. It's time to look for a relationship partner and forget what you took for granted in your 20s and 30s.

watchoutwoman · 2020-01-19T05:56:18+00:00

De facto/"forever girlfriend":
-He is able to walk out on you whenever he chooses (and vice versa - but why would you be with a man who you can easily picture walking out on?).
-Depending on your local laws, you may have similar legal protections to marriage, but usually they're not as airtight as marriage/divorce laws
-This may work in your favor if you have individual assets that you'd like to protect from divorce claims
-Your claim to his assets is also limited if things go belly up
Marriage:
-Nothing else can better signify commitment and devotion than marriage.
-Better guarantee of protection under marriage/divorce law
-Difficult to leave quickly
-Typically entails a joint financial situation, which takes a lot of trust from both parties
-Marriage allows for tax benefits

In the end it comes down to the level of independence you'd like from your partner.

Title	Is mariage a must in the long run?
Author	Doble_Zero
Upvotes	19
Comments	8
Date	January 18, 2020 5:35 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eqchai/is_mariage_a_must_in_the_long_run/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-mariage-a-must-in-the-long-run.684571 https://theredarchive.com/post/684571

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