It's called mutual respect and also showing your commitment in a relationship 👏

Nottheprob · 2020-11-28T18:34:06+00:00

When I would tell my male partner what I was doing, etc, he’d get mad. He also demanded I turn in tracking on my phone under the guise of ‘safety’. In reality, he was jealous I had a life outside of him and I had friends while he did not.

Fuck that

atuan · 2020-11-28T20:24:12+00:00

It's being controlled when they don't want to do it and then get "nagged" to do it. If they did it in the first place by being respectful and taking the initiative to do these things, they'd be controlling themselves instead of needing to "be controlled."

RabidWench · 2020-11-28T23:49:07+00:00

No, no... swapping sim trays is how you show commitment 🙄

RiasXgremoryX · 2020-11-28T19:14:27+00:00

Somebody needs to post this in the relationship/dating advice subs because the people on those subs are EXTREMELY confused on what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like.

Sage_Planter · 2020-11-29T04:31:07+00:00

YES.

This was a huge source of contention in my relationship with a NVM when we lived together. I didn't mind that he went out with friends sometimes, and I recognize it's important for people to maintain their own lives. I had my own hobbies and social life.

The problem was he:

Wouldn't tell me he was going out until the last minute which meant I couldn't make plans accordingly
Wouldn't invite me along, even when there was a mixed crowd (this should have been a HUGE red flag)
Wouldn't tell me specifics of who he was with or where he was at
Wouldn't give me ETAs on when I should expect him home which meant I'd wake up at 2:00 AM sometimes without him there, worried something bad happened

I don't know why it was so hard for him to understand that all I wanted was:

A few days before "I'm going out for drinks Friday night with A, B, C. I didn't think we had anything planned but let me know otherwise."
The day of "As a reminder, I'm going out tonight to place. I should be home around 1:00 AM."
If he's not back by 1:00 AM "Hey, still out, I'll check in at 2:00 and keep you posted."

Is that so fucking hard? Is that cOnTroLlInG? It's literally three text messages and fifteen seconds.

nr2596 · 2020-11-29T08:53:13+00:00

Okay I actually kinda disagree with this, sure it’d be nice and I’d like it if a man I’m dating did this but I’m not willing to do this for a man I was seeing it feels controlling and suffocating

Title	It's called mutual respect and also showing your commitment in a relationship 👏
Author	CuriousBubbleMilkTea
Upvotes	201
Comments	14
Date	November 28, 2020 3:30 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k2pjac/its_called_mutual_respect_and_also_showing_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/its-called-mutual-respect-and-also-showing-your.1067898 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067898

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