Kids?

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2020-12-01T02:52:53+00:00

In my personal opinion I think kids, marriage, and relationship standards should be set before marriage and a relationship. A man can be HV, and so can you. But if he wants kids and you decide later on you do not, the relationship might turn sour. You nor him should have to pick between a lifelong desire or each other. And kids for some (many in fact) is very important. I think once you get into a relationship, or even up to that moment you need to make a decision. I rarely meet people in the middle on the topic. But if you find someone great, pick them.

Kids are a huge responsibility, and can be rewarding. It's fine if you don't want one though. But for a HVM who does want them I don't think it fair to force them otherwise. So I think it's best to know. You need to find someone that doesn't if you don't or doesn't care either way. My sister doesn't want kids she just decided (she's 29), her girlfriend does. The relationship is over, neither party should compromise. Neither is wrong, neither is LV, neither is bad they just want different things.

Sage_Planter · 2020-12-01T01:28:10+00:00

I'm very keen to be a mother one day, and I'm starting to make serious plans for it.

I'm quite indifferent as to whether or not there's a man in my life when I do it.

If the right man comes along, great! If not, great!

Cairenne · 2020-12-01T07:22:58+00:00

Speaking as a single mother (the entire time) - children are great. They are. But you'll be more tired than you can accurately convey for longer than is reasonable (I didn't sleep more than 2 hours at one stretch until he was 14 months).

At times you will want to throw the whole child out the window. At those times you really truly want to have wanted children with all your heart.

They're wonderful, charming, and watching them develop into people is an honour. I wouldn't trade him away or any of this, and I say that sincerely. It does make for a more challenging life, and setting boundaries is hard at times.

Now, I imagine some of this is easier with a HVM. I wouldn't know that personally. But its a big damn choice and if you're ambivalent then it's likely better you not do it until and unless you really want to.

Substantial-Ad-1745 · 2020-12-01T10:49:48+00:00

I've ben child free since I was 6 year old. There are barely any HVM child free men so I'm more than comfortable and happy to live my awesome girl boss life alone. I dumped a LVM breeder once and he's ego got hurt, he tried to shame me for my child free status but I just laughed. I'll be treated as a human being and not a future incubator.

gingerwabisabi · 2020-12-01T04:52:20+00:00

Don't forget that we are in the early stages of total climate collapse. I understand people who simply HAVE to have a baby (I'm fighting my very strong urges myself) but if you're okay either way, maybe don't... I don't want my poor potential child to have to deal with water shortages everywhere, mass wars and refugeeism, eating bugs, and no hope for better. Men have ruined the planet and keep happily diggings us deeper when the solutions are (at the moment) really quite feasible.

cantsextihavebills · 2020-12-01T02:31:05+00:00

A HVM will respect your decision. You should look for someone that is okay with either option and can see the benefits of both that will leave the choice up to you, since it's your body.

Title	Kids?
Author	Queenunveiled
Upvotes	31
Comments	14
Date	November 30, 2020 8:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k44mnb/kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/kids.650121 https://theredarchive.com/post/650121

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