Long-time lurker here, first-time poster. Just really needed to get this off my chest.

My mother is a major pickmeisha.

She and my dad divorced when I was 10/11, and ever since, she's been dating and bringing home LV men. Right now she's on her 4th long-term relationship and I absolutely despise her boyfriend because of his constant LV behaviour.

The first time I saw him, I didn't like him. He oozed NV energy, although at the time I didn't even know about LVM/HVM/NVM, I just knew there was something about him that sucked. Then, probably 5 or 6 months after that, she let him move in. Granted, I'd only seen him once or twice in that span of time.

She didn't even formally introduce us until I saw him leaving her bedroom after he slept over one night.

Now he's been here for ~4 or 5 years, and he doesn't contribute to the running of our house--doesn't cook (unless it's for himself), doesn't clean, probably doesn't help out financially (if he does, then it's not much of a help because we're still struggling). And she seems to be perfectly okay with all of this.

Whenever I complain about being the only one doing any cleaning when he's sitting right there, her first response is "I'll do it if you don't want to."

NO. I want HIM to get off his lazy ass and do something! But she constantly brushes it off and tries to make me feel bad for wanting her to maintain some kind of standard with the men she dates.

She bought a car last year and put both their names on the insurance, yet she hasn't driven it since--it's always "oh well BF needs to get to work/visit his family/do who-knows-what because he's always got to go SOMEWHERE". I got my license last year, yet I can't get any real driving practice because it's always "oh, you'll have to ask BF if he's going anywhere first".

The hell?

When she's strapped for cash, she always asks me to lend her money. Not her working boyfriend, yknow, who supposedly has his own business yet can't lend her $100. Ask your daughter instead, who only landed a job last year and is currently paying for uni herself, while helping out with some of the bills since Mr. Boyfriend can't help out himself.

This has literally been the same scenario I get dumped into whenever she brings home a new LV/NV man. She thinks this one is better than the past LVM simply because he hasn't cheated on her yet like her last ex, but just because he's loyal (for now) doesn't mean that he isn't a shit excuse for a man.

My mother is the sole reason why I'll never lower my standards. I will never let a man into my life if he can't bring something to the table that I don't already have. I will NEVER let a man treat me like a live-in maid, like a walking ATM, like a free ride to wherever he wants.

I will never, ever settle.