My Plan for Exclusivity

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-12-02T14:56:24+00:00

This is a damn good article!

If you're interested in single until proposal type of dating read this.

With me as his girlfriend, he would get full access to me. He would sleep in my bed, lean on me for emotional support, show me off to his friends and enjoy my company at family gatherings. That would all be very nice, but it wouldn’t give me any assurance about the future, which was what I needed to feel safe. The offer I wanted included a proposal and being told I would forever be his one and only.

.....

He says I inspired him to dig deeper into his heart to consider whether I was the right person for him. Other women before me had been much easier to date, but they never forced him to think about settling down. And, he confesses, he was scared another man would sweep me off my feet if he didn’t gather his guts and commit.

husheveryone · 2020-12-02T15:10:37+00:00

Her approach should be normalized. It’s a sign things are very wrong with how we value women in society that this is such a novel concept for folks.

werker115 · 2020-12-02T15:58:13+00:00

I remember saying this decades ago before I even started dating. I did not understanding committing to a BF and keeping yourself ‘out the game’ if the goal is to get married. Bf/Gf dynamics are just pretending to be married and it can waste several years. I don’t see myself committing to anyone anymore unless we have a CLEAR and reasonable path to true commitment.

Btw this is the norm in my parents home country, although western dating practices are creeping in. Over there, you “court” and then decide to get engaged if it’s a good fit..which is when you do the meeting families/friends etc. There is no moving in, or blending lives before engagement.

gingerwabisabi · 2020-12-02T15:44:02+00:00

Ok this is exactly what I want, but what happened after she told him they weren’t going to be bf/gf and she wanted to him to be more commuter and propose to her or get lost? Did they date exclusively? Did she sleep with him? How much of ourselves do we give until we get a ring?

I too am tired of just “seeing” guys. I know most men will be scared away if I say “I am looking to get married and have children.” Obviously I don’t bring it up on the first date but I am really tired of dating men and it goes nowhere. They love “girlfriends” because they get wife benefits without having to marry her 🙄

Jasminov1 · 2020-12-03T01:04:22+00:00

I’m skeptical of this method and I don’t have a better one to offer. It is smart not to commit early on and to lose yourself in an endless relationship. I think she got lucky that it all worked out in the end. There’s no proof that he wouldn’t have proposed if they had been exclusive, millions of people end up married after being bf/gf. She admits to having read all of the relationship advice and books she could, perhaps her attitude and energy changed after that and she finally attracted the right person.

If this method really worked, then the other guys she was seeing would have wanted to be exclusive and would have proposed too. I doubt this happened otherwise she would have mentioned it (good selling point).

I don’t doubt that he was scared to lose her to another guy and that it made him think deep about how much she means to him. Isn’t that the reason all men propose though? How many of them do you think were not exclusive?

The truth is that everything happens in due time. Go out, put your best foot forward and be smart about who you give your heart to. Everything is easy when you meet the right person.

I loved my college boyfriend and we both wanted marriage but we wanted it at different times. When I met my ex husband (we divorced bc of the mental illness he developed years after we met)he showed me he was HV since day one , I’m sitting right next to a beautiful flower bouquet he sent for Thanksgiving. I didn’t wonder whether he liked or loved me, I didn’t ask him if he wanted to get married. He shared his feelings as they developed and made sure I knew exactly how he felt about me at all times. Even though we ended up divorcing, I consider my marriage to be a success. Should I then become a dating coach and claim to have the secret to getting married?

Title	My Plan for Exclusivity
Author	VeronaMoreau
Upvotes	41
Comments	20
Date	December 1, 2020 5:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k4oysh/my_plan_for_exclusivity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/my-plan-for-exclusivity.732495 https://theredarchive.com/post/732495

Comments