Hello! New sub here. I wanna say, first of all, I am so happy I found FDS. Thank you to everyone who makes this such a wonderful safe space.

I (23f) recently moved to Europe from the US to study. I grew up in a conservative household and I hadn’t dated that much, really. I decided to have fun and branch out and date during my year abroad. I was still a virgin and I always had it in my mind that I wanted my first time to be with someone I was in a relationship with. I went out with quite a few people, just dinner, etc. Then I met him. We went out for a few weeks, doing activities together, enjoying mutual interests, and that sort of thing. I had told him before I was a virgin and he never once suggested anything or made a move on me in any way. One evening, we were out together drinking and he kissed me. He said he’d wanted to do that for a long time but didn’t know if I liked him in that way. I told him I did. Nothing sexual happened that evening as he said he didn’t want me to make any sort of decision I may regret later, and the next day we met again and I told him I enjoyed the evening before and he said he did too. He asked if I’d like to come to his place for dinner some evening soon (I’d been there before but the context wasn’t like this), and I asked what might happen I did that. He said “whatever you want to have happen. I don’t want to pressure you to do anything.” I told him I’d like to have sex with him, but I’d really like to be able to consider him my boyfriend if I did. He seemed hesitant at first, “you’ll only be here for a year,” but he said he’d like to be my boyfriend. So some time later, I went to his apartment for dinner (he cooks very well) and we started making out and made our way to his room. He had candles lit and it was such a wonderful experience. I felt so cared for. He used a condom and did everything he was supposed to. He cuddled me after and was just so caring. Flash forward to a few weeks later. We were doing things together all the time, hanging out, going places, cooking dinner together, talking, taking long walks (he always wants to hold hands), having sex, just doing all kinds of couple stuff. One evening we were laying in bed at my place and he asked if I was falling in love with him (he’s very blunt sometimes because he’s actually on the autism spectrum), the question caught me off-guard but I was honest. I told him I was. Then he started saying how he didn’t expect me to catch feelings and he didn’t want anything serious and he just wants to be FWB. He said we should just end it now since I feel this way. I felt so disgusted. How could I have misread everything??? He was always incredibly attentive and sweet and into me. Making plans for us on the weekends, putting in effort, etc. I am ashamed to say I agreed to be just FWB because I didn’t want to lose him completely. We see each other now about twice a week. It’s so strange because he acts like he always has— like a boyfriend. Doing things like holding my hand, being sweet, kissing my forehead, bringing me gifts, having great sex with me (always making sure I’ve finished before he does), doing things with me besides sex, always paying when we go places, showing great interest in my life and future. He even keeps up with my family, asking about my sisters, etc. He’s not seeing anyone else or talking with anyone else, he’s told me so. He’ll let me use his phone sometimes and I’ve never seen any evidence to make me not believe him. We agreed to be exclusive FWB until the summer is over. I’m really in love with him and I’m not sure what to do. Should I end this? Am I being used and I don’t see it? Is there something I’m missing here? Is he a LVM? He’s also a student and physically stunning, 6’4 and dark. I don’t know why he doesn’t want to have a relationship. Is there something I’m doing wrong? I’ve thought maybe it’s because he was hurt in the past? I really don’t know. I’d love to hear some advice. I feel really foolish for being so confused. Thank you so much if you read all of this.