Hi everyone, really pleased to have found this sub! I'm a girl with high standards and there are loads of interesting things on here.

So I need a bit of advice. I'm 27 and I have next to zero dating experience. All throughout school, university, several jobs, hobbies, it's just passed me by and I've never met anyone I've been seriously interested in who has also liked me. I have been on a couple of dates through Tinder but they never got past one date. I'm fairly shy but not totally unwilling to make the first move.

I have been using these apps for about 2 years on and off now and I feel so discouraged. I am picky about my swiping, only swiping on guys I'm genuinely interested in, but even so I get very few matches. Those that I do match with, they very rarely reply to my messages or just stop replying - it always feels like a one way conversation, and it's like I can sense how disinterested they are in me, like I was just one of the 100s of girls they swiped on barely paying attention. It just destroys my motivation trying to even get anywhere with them.

I'm definitely not the prettiest girl but I dress well, take care of myself, have my own professional job and interests, and I'm well liked by most people I know. I have no issues talking to men irl, I have male friends, it's just when you throw romance into it I fail so badly.

I want a long term relationship with a high quality guy. I do not suffer fools gladly and if he showed any red flags I'd be out of there. I'm very independent, so he'd have to be great for me to give this single life up. But I'm so depressed and lonely and I feel like the odd one out with my friends getting married and moving in with long term boyfriends. I want someone to enrich my life and create happiness with.

There's so many guys on the apps, I have choice paralysis. I don't have the energy to date anyone who vaguely interests me because they might be the one, if they even want to talk to me for longer than 30 seconds! Sometimes I think 'my type of guy' doesn't like using apps, but then I haven't managed to meet one elsewhere in any other way. I need to optimize my methods somehow.

I've been seeing a therapist and he thinks I need to increase my self-esteem (durr) and have a bit of encouragement/mentorship to push me along and out of my confines. So I guess that's why I'm posting here!

Thanks for reading x