Not texting back for long times cause shitty phone/sleeping? Am I a pickmeisha?

Winter_Inevitable · 2020-01-30T20:49:42+00:00

I had a boyfriend when i was 18 who did this (I am now 39). I dumped him after the second time he "fell asleep".

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2020-01-30T20:40:12+00:00

I have severe, diagnosed insomnia. Sometimes I can fall asleep at weird times without meaning to if I haven't slept much during the previous days of the week. I can go go go for 48 + hours of no sleep and then crash for a few hours, and then be wired again.

So, I would just watch carefully for any other suspicious stuff. But if he does have a sleeping problem his reason could be legit.

supremelyparanoid · 2020-01-30T22:51:42+00:00

So here’s my thing about this, can you find out more about this disorder? Ask him about the name or something but in a very casual way? Just so you can actual confirm / look up the symptoms if this is the case. I mean if the disorder is severe then he wouldn’t be able to drive / operate machinery? This already sounds like wayyyyy too much work but just an idea for you sis

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-01-30T23:53:43+00:00

Some people do have “sleeping disorders” or just flat-out depression. When I was severely depressed I would come home at 4pm, go straight to bed, wake up around 10, have dinner, and go to bed around 11:30. That was my week. I was sleeping around 13 hours out of 24. If this is him, he is NOT ready for a relationship.

I wouldn’t go to his place after he “woke up”, but I wouldn’t drop him either. Get him to plan a different time to hang out with you. If he falls asleep again, it could be a disorder or he could just be messing with your feelings.

extraacct1234 · 2020-01-30T18:50:23+00:00

That means he's fucking other women. Or trying to. Or drunk or out with his friends. Probably all 4.

GrilledAvocado · 2020-01-31T00:31:11+00:00

You’re doing all the work here.

eru378 · 2020-01-31T05:41:24+00:00

Sounds like a pretty convenient sleeping disorder. You don't say if you did go over to his, but don't be at a man's beck and call. If he texts you way after you'd agreed to get in touch, explain that you're busy doing something else now and tell him he can propose another time to get together. Also make firm arrangements with a specific time, don't leave room for him to say "but we didn't set a time" when he messages you hours later. Notice that right now he's not having to do any work: he gets to hang out at home, fall asleep, wake up whenever, text you, you come over to his, zero exertion on his part. That's pick-me kinda stuff.

If he's really got a sleeping disorder, get him to explain it to you, suggest that he sees a doctor, and get him to suggest some ways he can manage it so he's not disrespecting your time. People have issues, that's fine, but we can all make an effort to create conditions where those issues don't negatively impact on others. However, don't be the one to suggest ways to manage this disorder. It's his problem.

Going forward, take note of his habits around communication and punctuality - does he put in proper effort in scheduling dates? Is he usually responsive? Does he have a history of rescheduling stuff? I'd be prepared to give someone one pass for this sort of thing, but if it happens again then I'd need a very good reason to keep seeing the guy. Good luck! Be prepared to walk away if you need to. Find someone who respects you and your time.

Title	Not texting back for long times cause shitty phone/sleeping? Am I a pickmeisha?
Author	soaring_potato
Upvotes	15
Comments	17
Date	January 30, 2020 2:02 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ew5vgj/not_texting_back_for_long_times_cause_shitty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/not-texting-back-for-long-times-cause-shitty.683671 https://theredarchive.com/post/683671

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