Husbands of Reddit: Why is this so pervasive?

50 points•111 comments•submitted by Riotgirl1990 to r/Marriage

Husbands of reddit. First, let me say that I know that I am asking about a generalization. I realize that some - even many- husbands do not leave their dirty laundry all over the floor, or their dishes in the sink. However, as a recently married woman, I find that all of my other married friends have the exact same complaint about their husbands. For clarity, all of my friends are working professionals, so they have relatively egalitarian households. Or at least as egalitarian as it gets. Second, I am not trying to make a dig. I genuinely want to know what men think of this issue, and what men think cause it. My girlfriends and I speculate, but we can't understand why these men who are otherwise great partners have these little things that they can't or won't do.

The complaint is as follows:

- I love my husband, but no matter how I ask or what I say, he just can't manage to get his dirty laundry all the way into the hamper. Now, sometimes its that he can't manage to put his dirty glass in the sink or dishwasher. Or that he can't seem to take the trash out when its full even though he lives here an it is very obviously full. The task changes, but the message is the same.

Since this seems to be ubiquitous among my peers (couples in their 30s and 40s in which both parties work full time and have similar earning power), that the men in the couples all have one or more little household tasks that they cannot seem to manage to do and leave for their wives, no matter how many times they were asked, why? What is it about the task or the men or the culture that makes most of my friends' husbands totally incapable of putting their dirty laundry in the hamper!?

Edit: Since my real question seems to be buried - I'm asking what it is about the way that men are socialized or raised, or what messages they are being sent that teach or reinforce this behavior?