Preparing to leave your abuser

millennialpink2000 · 2021-02-28T21:14:07+00:00

Great list.

To add to #1, I'd suggest taking video to document the condition in which you left the home so that he can't claim you trashed the place on your way out and then force you to pay damages.

TheFinalGirl_21 · 2021-03-01T01:22:54+00:00

This is great. One thing I wish women would stop doing is warning men that you might leave or that you will and giving them a date. This is a grave error that too many of us make, and I see it in true crime shows a lot. “I want the kids to have a good Christmas, so I’m staying until then and we’re moving in with my parents at the first of the year.” Cut to him setting the house on fire on NYE after shooting them all in the head while they slept.

I’ve had to rush and move out while a man was at work. Rented a little Uhaul truck and did it all by myself. Because, again, you can’t really tell anyone what your plans are. People who haven’t been through it do not understand, and try to make you second guess yourself. Mutual friends cannot be fully trusted. Basically, if you’re leaving an abuser, you need to be prepared to start fresh like you’re in Witness Protection. You have to be willing to live in practical solitude for a few weeks or months with no interaction with anyone who knows him until you are mentally, economically, and emotionally secure enough not to be roped back in.

NetflixBingeQueen · 2021-03-01T01:35:18+00:00

-Another addition: keep your ID documents, bank cards, passports, health cards etc out of the house as soon as you can. If you need to leave with nothing, they are the bare minimum.

-If you need to google any plans e.g. women shelters, do it at a local library. Clearing your computer browser isn’t always good enough.

Platipus6 · 2021-02-28T23:02:18+00:00

Along with a storage space, rent a PO. Box so he doesn't intercept your mail, and you can mail things to yourself as storage. From the PO Box you can get mail redirect to your new place so there's one more layer.

or get a box at the bank for your birth certificate, passport etc.

I'm glad you're out!

FDSfollower1 · 2021-03-01T03:21:20+00:00

This is an excellent post about the practical issues concerning leaving an abusive man. Is there any way that this can be pinned or put in the sidebar?

SmootherThanAStorm · 2021-02-28T19:41:48+00:00

Thank you.

Kristeninmyskin · 2021-03-03T22:06:08+00:00

This needs to be in the handbook! Mods, please make this happen!

Title	Preparing to leave your abuser
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	129
Comments	12
Date	February 28, 2021 7:19 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lu9wc6/preparing_to_leave_your_abuser/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/preparing-to-leave-your-abuser.1192154 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192154

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