Hello fellow Queens,

This sub has helped me, and I think several others here, become more selective when it comes to men and dating. I am incredibly grateful for this. When I get back into dating, I will have no misgivings about cutting men off and blocking and deleting unsuitable matches.

Now, I have thought recently about deciphering a red flag from a human flaw. Granted, abusive behaviors can show up in very small, tip-of-the-iceberg ways. However, no human being is perfect. Everyone has things they can work on. No matter how much we have improved ourselves, perfection is like an asymptote - we can get incredibly close, but we will never actually reach it. Even HVM and HVW have flaws.

So, how do you ladies figure out if a behavior is a flaw or a red flag? I can spot relatively easily the obvious red flags, (i.e. not following through, misogynistic sense of humor, unwilling or unable to cough up the money or effort for a proper date). Do you watch over time if you are unsure? I am wary of giving a man more of my time than he deserves, but I also don't want to refuse every possible HVM because they aren't absolutely, positively without flaws.