Ruminating on recent breakup

SureEmployment4 · 2020-05-10T18:37:07+00:00

I find that low value men tend to be very nice, “loving” guys because that’s all they have to offer. They’ll never be able to adequately provide for a family, you’ll always have to take care of them like they’re another child.

.. But if you can just look past that and see their heart!

No, sis. Love isn’t the end-all be-all, and you deserve more. Give it time and when you look back you’ll see that you made the right decision.

cirrus_cloud · 2020-05-10T17:59:15+00:00

[deleted]

Pogojen · 2020-05-10T19:41:56+00:00

You miss the oxytocin. Now that you're in a detox, you got to get over your addiction, it will take some time.

throwawayitst · 2020-05-10T21:22:35+00:00

Your neuro transmitters wil give you hell. Stay strongg. If you want him to come back you can. But i suggest asking for advice here first and being very very very strong. Ready some break up books maybe

fiercefinance · 2020-05-11T02:26:06+00:00

Unbelievably loving but also jealous? Sounds super unhealthy to me.

Appears that you are just going through the detox.

The best solution is time. Give yourself time to gain perspective. You'll get through this hard part.

shortoncache · 2020-05-10T22:23:37+00:00

Idk about other ladies but my answer is that I DO get to that place of immense regret.

The first guy I semi-seriously dated, I knew he was an ugly asshole, and I knew I only weakened against him because 1) he was persistent and 2) I thought I was an asshole and didn't want to drag down a truly nice guy. After I confronted him about ending things, the emotional backlash was like being hit with a freight train, I had NO idea I had this amount of feelings for him because, well, he was unattractive and just hours before my emotions went haywire, I'd had this "yeah no this isn't gonna work" epiphany. It just didn't seem fair that I started craving his attention.

I wanna say the regret is just a neurological response that kicks in when you put yourself through a drastic change. It's normal, unfortunately, and it colors everything else so that his HV traits get highlighted.

I could tell you over and over that you deserve to be a 100% satisfied (an unmotivated guy doesn't sound like someone who's gonna meet you halfway to work on his LV traits) but no amount of repitition will change the fact that it's just gonna take time for you find yourself able to believe it.

Bury yourself in your old loves, your old hobbies.

Distract yourself with new things. My drug of choice has been a phone game called Onmyoji. I also added this game called Guardians that was developed by MIT to train players to reward themselves for doing a self-care exercise every day, and this goofy game called The Truth Comes Out (min 3 players required) that I've started playing with my friends.

Meditation also helps with learning to observe and accept your emotions without acting on them, and then letting them go naturally.

2020-05-10T21:18:22+00:00

I don’t get upset dumping someone because I date multiple men. I’m able to gauge different qualities and see who’s trying vs who’s a time waster.

I don’t put all my eggs in one basket. I do have a favorite right now but I am talking to others as well. Don’t pigeon hole yourself next time.

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