Still working on asserting my worth and avoiding LVM but I have a feeling you ladies might relate to this

umbralgarden · 2020-05-03T07:33:23+00:00

Took me like 24 years of life to figure out other people ask for shit all the time. Even all 3 of my siblings got bigger pieces of the pie than me by constantly fucking up worse than I ever did and then asking for money or loans. I never asked for a car or computers or a graduation gift. I never asked to go to a good school, went to the cheapest community college I could. Everything handed down or my parents old stuff. I used to be proud of asking for nothing until I realized it was straight stupid and just lost me a lot of opportunities while making everyone else's life easier. Do my parents like me more? Maybe. What is that worth? Nothing- quite the opposite. It's negative worth. I've gotten less my entire life and I'm less successful than those who ask. Read any biography of any famous business man and there's a part of the story where they just incessantly push and ask for shit like a kid who won't take no. Being polite gets you nowhere. It only serves others.

2340000 · 2020-05-03T04:54:31+00:00

This sub is amazing. I am learning so much about myself, and it is painful. It is so painful. But this pain is so necessary for growth, and it is so overdue.

PollyannaPenny · 2020-05-03T08:34:59+00:00

Ouch. This hit me where I live

ordnance23 · 2020-05-03T13:02:01+00:00

If I asked for something I would be told I was never satisfied and be punished with the silent treatment. I learned to stop asking, be useful and hope to one day be loved. My ex really destroyed so much of me. His neglect and lack of love made me feel like I was never enough. And now when anyone tries to love me, I never trust it. I’m never in a place of stillness, constantly feeling like I have to prove my worth. I’ve centered my identity around sacrifice and unless I’m sabotaging myself for others I feel like I alone will never be enough.

This hit me so hard.

sososonia · 2020-05-03T12:16:17+00:00

[deleted]

level_up_always · 2020-05-03T08:22:11+00:00

dang this is deep sis

ThunderofHipHippos · 2020-05-03T18:04:58+00:00

"Your job is to make other people feel good. If you can't do that, they won't want to see you anymore."

-- Mothers with internalized misogyny

blooregardine · 2020-05-03T08:06:05+00:00

"Of course I know her, it's me".

Worst part: when I started asking for things, some people started to think, that I want to much, and my requests are ridiculous. So this worst fear is coming to life and i find myself usually going back to not asking, because I feel like I'm just a problem, ending up blaming myself.

I'm grateful for this kinds of posts, they are making me think about how useless this type of thinking is.

devoushka · 2020-05-03T18:04:52+00:00

Lol yep, like with my ex who did not value me despite me being way out of his league, I tried to compensate for his lack of care towards me by cooking for him, taking care of him when he was sick, even ran an errand for him here and there. I used to think that in a committed relationship you're supposed to do your all to make the other person happy. I didn't realize that I should've waited to see what he did and reciprocated exactly that.

LadyHawke17 · 2020-05-03T11:19:24+00:00

How. Did. You.

Yes 😔

Trialmoonnumber · 2020-05-03T12:32:09+00:00

Ouch.

sarahbae03 · 2020-05-03T20:17:23+00:00

Oof. Hit me in the feels why don't you.

Title	Still working on asserting my worth and avoiding LVM but I have a feeling you ladies might relate to this
Author	of-mind-and-adventur
Upvotes	492
Comments	14
Date	May 3, 2020 2:06 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gcily8/still_working_on_asserting_my_worth_and_avoiding/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/still-working-on-asserting-my-worth-and-avoiding.692443 https://theredarchive.com/post/692443

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