We have to stop falling for the BS that men are stupid. We are manipulated and gaslit by society as a whole, and we have to open our eyes.

Remember that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond in which Ray explains how, early in the marriage, he purposefully sabotaged his laundry efforts so his wife would never again ask him to do the laundry?

They make us think they can’t do simple chores around the house, research solutions to problems, keep track of to do lists. Yet they can hold jobs that require the same skill sets.

They pretend they didn’t know a woman was flirting with them, and pickme versions of us go on and on about how amazing they are and how many women like them.

They sleep with obviously drunk women or women rejecting advances over and over then claim, “how was I to know?”

They leave a mess on the floor until you have to ask them to take care of it because pulling their own weight is effort beyond what they want to make and we should be grateful they will do what we ask, but we’re nagging and asking too much so we never ask for what we really need.

They duck their way out of childcare, even when they’re in the home, finding ways to shift the responsibilities because it’s in “our nature” and not in theirs.

They watch porn behind doors, and claim they’re good guys and “feminists” in public, as if they’re clueless about the content that gets them off.

They light us on fire (news story posted here), forcefully fuck us so hard our cervix bleeds (reddit post shared here), they strangle us during a “scene” and we somehow end up dead...but they didn’t mean to! It was an accident! Men need supervision!

They wonder why we are so angry, insecure, or emotional when they future fake, cheat, behave inconsistently, like they’re not pulling the strings.

Sure, they’re stupid. Suuuure. Yet they’ve managed to build an entire societal system to oppress women across continents and cultures. Men are not stupid. They’re lazy. If they can manipulate us or benefit from society’s manipulation, they will.

The second I started using this lens to evaluate every experience I’ve had with men, I realized that even a “good guy” can be taking advantage of the system and utilizing it to get their way for little effort.

Walk away from low effort. Don’t fall into the trap that he “doesn’t know better, needs your help, has low intellect, wasn’t raised right, was abused, has been hurt before, just needs to meet the right the woman, needs to change jobs, is forgetful, is trying his best, etc.”

It doesn’t matter. All that matters is you and getting your needs met in your life. If he ain’t meeting them, walk away and continue meeting your needs instead. Because he isn’t stupid; he’s making a choice.