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HolyIsTheLord
[–]HolyIsTheLordFDS Apprentice[S] 42 points43 points44 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
My commentary on this screenshot (won't let me add it to my OP lol):
This post really stood out to me and hit home.
Why on earth are we expected to coddle men's delicate emotions, fragile egos, and be responsible for building their self esteem?
Why are we reluctant to give honest feedback of their shortcomings, let downs, inadequacies, and personality flaws.
I'm done sparing their feelings or remaining silent when a man screws up or has a glaring flaw we're supposed to overlook or even encourage.
Tell him the truth! Be direct. Put our own needs and expectations out there.
Love this hash.
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The only thing I would add to this is: do not confront any man in person if you do not know him well, if you're not in a public place, or if there is ANY indication that he could become violent. Same goes for men who exhibit a lot of red flag behaviour but they know your address, place of employment, or the like. Safety first, sisters!
[–]CoolMelonadeRuthless Strategist7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah definitely tell them about themselves when you’re physically safe lol
[–]Phork7sFDS Newbie-3 points-2 points-1 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most of my partners liked that I was assertive and told them their missteps, that's the only way things get better in a relationship. I've never had someone crave my affirmation. I agree with you that those men exist, but I don't think that generalizing that way is fair in a situation like this.
[–]jewdy09Pickmeisha™️30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
Teach these devils!
I had a date the other day that went well (mostly because the waitress was very amusing) but he was looked to be about 100 pounds heavier than a friend of mine who is the same height (6’3”) and weighs in at 270 who I find very appealing physically.
I felt bad after this conversation, but judging by his response, I think he has become accustomed to women not saying anything about his deception because we are socialized to not be rude. Men want that courtesy but rarely extend it to women and make no effort to soften the blow when they find something unappealing about our appearance weather an attempt to obscure said “flaws” is made or not.
I didn’t find him attractive in his current state and I couldn’t imagine that oaf huffing and puffing on top me but he should have given me the opportunity to reject him BEFORE I accepted the date by representing himself accurately. The deception is the main issue, but putting me in the position of either lying, ghosting, or being brutally honest was a dick move so I let him have it. I’m sure he thinks I’m just a superficial asshole who rejected him for his looks, but it’s more than that.
[–]HolyIsTheLordFDS Apprentice[S] 13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Oh heck yes!! Just saw your screen shot. WELL DONE!! 👏👏👏
[–]jewdy09Pickmeisha™️16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I wasn’t even trying to be a dick. Something interesting I just realized is about the feeling I got when he said he is “literally the same size” as the photos. That feeling when someone is lying, but I feel like there is no way to refute that obvious lie and it would be pointless anyway. It’s the same feeling I got twice in this screenshot.
It’s my bullshit detector and it’s been there wildly alerting me all this time, but I have trained myself to ignore it. It’s was the same feeling for all three of these distinct, yet outrageously common, types of bullshit that men throw around. I’m not the one that made it awkward that he fat fished me, a man will make time no matter how busy he is for someone he wants to spend time with, and the gaslighting adjacent pathetic attempt to recover some dignity after being rejected by saying he wasn’t asking for something that he was clearly trying to get. No Fuckface, I’m not stupid.
I need to pay attention when I get that feeling, not push it away like I have historically always done. It’s there for a reason. One thing I can say in favor of OLD is that it gives one so many opportunities to practice calling men out on their bullshit with nothing really at stake.
Edited to fix imgur link. Weird.
[–]turquoisebluesFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Could you edit your link to IMGUR.com? The current domain you have is incorrect and insecure. Thanks!
[–]jewdy09Pickmeisha™️1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That was weird. I managed to fix it. Now it just wants to make sure you are an adult. Thanks for the heads up.
[–]wowthispostissadFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Shit, men even tell you your physical flaws when you aren’t dating or interest. It’s like... why do you think I care?
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Already on board and have been for years. The looks on some of their faces when you do it are PRICELESS.
[–]ScotsburdFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's a kindness, really and I'm really, really kind... 😁
[–]HaltthemoonFDS Apprentice0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed! Also, if you've had a bad experience with a date from OLD, please report them. If you felt that another woman shouldn't have to endure what you went thru, report them. They need to be held accountable.
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[–]HolyIsTheLordFDS Apprentice[S] 42 points43 points44 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CoolMelonadeRuthless Strategist7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Phork7sFDS Newbie-3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jewdy09Pickmeisha™️30 points31 points32 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]HolyIsTheLordFDS Apprentice[S] 13 points14 points15 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]jewdy09Pickmeisha™️16 points17 points18 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]turquoisebluesFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]jewdy09Pickmeisha™️1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wowthispostissadFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ScotsburdFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HaltthemoonFDS Apprentice0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link