Thoughts on celibacy?

themissdaydreamer · 2019-12-30T02:32:13+00:00

over the years I started to get more private about my celibacy because men would turn this into some really stupid debates on how THEY think about my choices, or they'd see it as a challenge, or try to negotiate their way into my pants. the only time I had no problems with it was during my last relationship, but just because my ex lacked so much in virility I'd feel practically assexual when I was with him.

so I'm not sure about how I'm gonna address this when I go back to dating without undergoing that same old bullshit.

whycantweallgetal0ng · 2019-12-30T02:19:29+00:00

A woman over at gendercritical told me once she was "politically celibate" and the concept just blew my mind away.

It's sounded empowering tbh. But I don't know how that would go over with men.

level_up_always · 2019-12-30T07:50:30+00:00

I wouldn’t tell anyone, they’re likely to see it as a challenge

Scotsburd · 2019-12-30T07:58:11+00:00

It's nobody's business but yours. Never hand over the keys to your soul.

dackaroo · 2019-12-30T12:19:37+00:00

I did a long stint of celibacy once. I felt motivated, invigorated, and lucid. It's quite the experience that can give you a fresh perspective in very surprising ways.

I don't think you should tell anyone about it except close friends. I also think you should take more time to heal before dating again. Be celibate for awhile and then when you're ready to start considering sex again, begin looking for a partner (and take your time). Just my two cents. But if you're going to date now, definitely don't tell your dates about it. It's none of their business.

FemclFleshBeckyBones · 2019-12-30T14:06:10+00:00

Why bother dating during your time off celibacy? I could understand if you just purely want to go on dates and never develop anything serious but if you're looking for something serious maybe wait? Even though you could just not have sex until engagement or something (a good fds approved strategy imo).

spotsandstripes9 · 2019-12-30T19:38:56+00:00

I don’t tolerate questions on my sexual history or choices. If someone asks why I’m single or why I’m not dating, I just come up with an excuse that I think will make them shut up, while making a mental note that they’re nosy.

When I was younger and a huge people pleaser, I was worried about seeming “fake” and thought that I needed to be honest with men who ask questions that are none of their business. You have a right to privacy and boundaries - it’s ok to have secrets from someone because you don’t know them well or trust them. The skeletons in your closet are not “the real you” and you have no obligation to be transparent with a random guy asking you why you aren’t dating.

The real reason is something I’ve only discussed with close girlfriends - wanting to work on myself until I’m confident I won’t fall back into my old pickmeisha habits.

Title	Thoughts on celibacy?
Author	dirtytruffle
Upvotes	10
Comments	8
Date	December 30, 2019 1:57 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ehfbga/thoughts_on_celibacy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thoughts-on-celibacy.685977 https://theredarchive.com/post/685977

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