Trapped

Ms_Tilly · 2019-12-10T14:16:40+00:00

You don't owe him anything further. It's great that he helped you out. It's time to have a talk with him about ending the relationship and living together as roommates that simply share bills and responsibilities. Maybe he wants that too. If you don't think he'll take it well, then you should get yourself a back up plan, a female roommate, before you bring it up. And you don't bring this up as "I need you to change if you want to keep this relationship". The romantic relationship you two had is over. He had his chances. He proved he didn't want to change. He doesn't get anymore chances. I've had a couple dead bedroom situations. They never get better. Best of luck! I'm glad you turned that situation around.

extraacct1234 · 2019-12-10T14:31:53+00:00

My response is protect your heart. Detach from him emotionally. If you have too, use him financially. You're so close to your degree. Do whatever you have to do to get it and then make your move to be free.

NIKKA93 · 2019-12-10T16:09:06+00:00

Don't overthink it. Get your degree and get out.

The man is obviously done with you but still thinks you are a good roommate.

HannahIsAHustler · 2019-12-10T13:41:36+00:00

Have you tried talking with him? What does he say, why did it become a dead bedroom? Why is he now what sounds like choosing porn over time with you?

Congrats on all of your hard work. You have already accomplished so much with your studies.

frostrust · 2019-12-10T14:05:31+00:00

Hey, first of all you've come far and overcame many obstacles and hardships already, which certainly required a lot of strength. In your situation, I would try to seek out women you can maybe flatshare with, and female friends and allies in general. I would try to fight against the isolation and seek female solidarity (which you are already beginning to do, posting here!). I would drop my unsupportive and uninvested partners ass, as soon as I have a female support net. I whish you the best.

PlatyupsCommittee · 2019-12-10T17:14:54+00:00

I would look for a female roommate if I were you and if it would be about the same financially. Most likely scenario, you two will just politely leave each other alone and it will over all be pretty peaceful - you might annoy each other sometimes but nothing to the level of how bad a failed romantic relationship feels. Best case scenario, you'll wind up with a new friend.

If you can't find any better financial situation but you find living with him at least tolerable, you could just view him as a financial benefit for you until you're ready to move out. It's only fair. You wouldn't want to move out if he hadn't let the relationship die like this.

I'd also try to make more female friends in general if you can. It would be good to have a bigger circle of people to love and support you.

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TheLastUBender · 2019-12-11T16:03:20+00:00

I'm so sorry. First off - you need to forgive yourself for the choices you made. You were in a very difficult situation.

Second of all, this situation stayed the way it was because it was convenient (although not healthy!!) for both of you. You got the school fees covered as well as room and board. He got your companionship, which he must have enjoyed.

This arrangement has outlived its sell by date now. He is ashamed of you? He is not attracted to you anymore? And the arrangement makes you feel guilty and used? Nah. Please try to find a roommate instead and split up with this guy. You owe him nothing. You owe it to yourself to finish your studies with serenity and knowing that you did your very best to improve your situation. Have some compassion for yourself, you deserved better than you got.

Title	Trapped
Author	NIKKA93
Upvotes	14
Comments	25
Date	December 10, 2019 1:11 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e8qfbb/trapped/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/trapped.695060 https://theredarchive.com/post/695060

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