Walking away with my head held high

Ms_Tilly · 2020-08-29T19:14:17+00:00

Don't believe him when he comes crawling back saying he wasn't thinking straight. He'll blindside you again. He told you he doesn't love you. Believe him and move on.

ntlvit2f8 · 2020-08-29T19:09:08+00:00

Well done on walking away. Sheer strength. I applaud you. You put yourself first. Fuck doing the hope you grow to love me dance. Boy bye as you say.

Straighten up that crown, cry if you need to and go into that new job on Tuesday and blow them away. Who knows who you could meet there’s. The trash took itself out this weekend and left you open to meeting a HVM.

Zeniite · 2020-08-29T19:21:36+00:00

I feel like I was in a super similar place as you 9 months ago, questioning my own sanity and recollection of events. A wise older woman taught me after my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me out of left field to make a list of must-have’s and can’t-stands for when I began to date again and told me to immediately stop seeing someone if they didn’t meet the right criteria. My ex had been a physician and we had a really wonderful relationship, traveled together, shared hobbies, and he spoiled me with a lot of gifts on the regular, so I had hoped we would get married. That relationship taught me a lot about what I wanted and needed (it was NOWHERE near perfect - I always suspected he was cheating and he regularly flirted with women in front of me), but one of the first things I put on my must-have list is “They must want me” with no convincing, persuasion, or talking them into it required. It’s been very empowering to stick to this list system while also employing FDS, and after the breakup, it felt therapeutic to reflect on the relationship as a means of generating both lists. I suggest every woman gives it a try, especially after a breakup. While reflecting, I saw things I didn’t see while in the relationship, like my ex’s tendency to try to sabotage my health goals by buying food or alcohol he knew I would have a hard time saying no to, and I also woke up to his own problem with binging on food and alcohol. This helped me add things like “drinks minimally or none at all” and “is supportive of my health goals” to my must-have list when I previously would have thought, “yeah, I could totally be happy with a moderate drinker if things are right in every other way”. I hope this is helpful in some way and I suspect that you might feel better given some time.

Side note: I looked at my ex’s computer after he broke up with me to see he had ordered lingerie and had been looking at luxury hotel rooms. He didn’t know what size I wear and he never booked luxury hotel rooms only for himself, so, yeah... He did so graciously offer that we meet up in a year (you know, his way of trying to keep me as a backup option) but I gave him an ambiguous answer. Don’t let this guy keep you on ambiguous strings - you deserve someone who is crazy about you and doesn’t HOPE that he can learn to love you. That’s bullshit - you’re in or you’re out.

2020-08-29T19:23:48+00:00

You made the right choice in walking away. If he isn't in love with you after 1.5 years he will never be. I'm sorry that happend to you. Take some time for yourself this weekend before starting your new job. Let yourself get upset, have some pizza, do a spa day. Do what you need to to be your best self when you start your new job. There are plenty of men out there who would appreciate a girl with your qualities. I wouldn't be surprised if he will come crawling back saying things will be different. They won't.

4E4ME · 2020-08-29T21:08:10+00:00

Oh, he doesn't like that you are leveling up in your career. He's feeling threatened, and all of this "maybe I'll grow to love you" is negging to see if you will lower yourself before him.

I'm sorry Sis, this sucks so hard. Hugs to you.

Mulkvistee · 2020-08-29T20:02:43+00:00

But he had the audacity to tell me that everything he told me about our future was not really true and that he doesn’t love me and while he “really really cares about me” he has no intention of changing. He wants to “see if he can grow to love me for real and see if someday he can see a future with me.”

This sounds like a guy who's thinking he can do better or fuck around while keeping you on standby. Aaaand he's so chicken he's rewriting your relationship history rather than own his inability to stay committed. Nope. Nope nope nope, audacity indeed! He'll try playing at fuckboy and like others are saying, come crawling back because he's hoping you're desperate enough for this pathetic vision of the future. You're nobody's safe option and you did the right thing to walk away.

Your new job sounds awesome! Do you have friends to celebrate with? What you've got is a clean slate and room for all the opportunity in the world to come your way. Block this guy and usher in the new!

boiledgatorade_ · 2020-08-29T19:33:42+00:00

I look at it as a sign that this happened and you’re starting a new job! ❤️

Mountain_Nectarine_6 · 2020-08-29T23:59:13+00:00

I’m fucking proud of you. You are strong and I am not only impressed but I want to be like you. Fuck him. He sucks and you know your worth.

Always keep your life going and keep seeing your friends and have your own routine even when you’re in a relationship so that a boyfriend adds to your life but breaking up with him doesn’t remove anything but himself from it.

IAteTheDragon · 2020-08-30T09:41:33+00:00

"See if he can grow to love me for real and see if someday he can see a future with me.” So he openly told you he wold like to waste more of your precious time and if he's in a good mood, you'll be lucky enough to have his love? This is fucking outrageous. You did the ONLY right thing in this situation, stay strong and resist the urge to reply to this loser when he crawls back for attention.

lionessbutthole · 2020-08-30T07:38:12+00:00

It's ok to miss a man but don't let him bring you down. Just a speed bump.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-08-30T11:54:08+00:00

You are worth SO much more than this. You deserve someone who knows your worth NOW as you are, and is committed to that. Wow what an idiot he is. He’s just lost an amazing woman, and you will be so much better off without him. Don’t give him anymore time of day to go back on his words. This would be heartbreaking for you and so hard to get over. Don’t let him waste anymore of your time.

You’ve done the right thing. You’ve done the Queen thing - knowing deep down you’re worth so much more than this.

Title	Walking away with my head held high
Author	PrncssGmdrp
Upvotes	87
Comments	22
Date	August 29, 2020 4:56 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iivu92/walking_away_with_my_head_held_high/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/walking-away-with-my-head-held-high.212993 https://theredarchive.com/post/212993

Comments