Ladies, I know that here we are concerned about finances, and I am not saying that is not important... but to me what differentiates a HVM is an attitude, a way of behaving. I had a great experience today, which I think illustrates this:

I have always been a good dresser, I have good taste and standards for my appearance even in everyday scenarios. Since the end of lockdown where I live I have been making an extra effort to always look my best, wearing make up more consistently. I live in a small town and often (sometimes daily) pop into the small supermarket for groceries. Since COVID a man has been stationed at the door to count customers in and out, I have come to recognise most of them and usually exchange a hello.

Today, to my great enjoyment, the man who was on duty stopped me on my way out: he said “Excuse me, but I just wanted to say that you always look so elegant” and I thanked him with a laugh and went on my way. The reason it stuck with me was the way that he delivered this compliment. It was done in the most respectful way, felt genuine, wasn’t creepy at all and didn’t make me uncomfortable. (It was a lovely feeling to have someone appreciated my beauty and elegance without the sinister thirst of a LVM)

Since diving deep into the psychology of LVM, narcissists and abusers during lockdown it has become so clear to me that not every man is capable of doing that, it takes a serious amount of self assurance to see an elegant sophisticated HVW and not feel threatened or insecure to respond in a dismissive, or passive aggressive way. To express in a non creepy way a respectful compliment I think takes real maturity and quality, and while this man is obviously not rich or high status, this is HVM behaviour in my eyes.

Do you agree? Has anyone else had a refreshing experience recently?