men and women are fundamentally different, specifically in relationships. men view getting into a long term relationship or marriage as overall something that should be treated with great care, as they are constantly reminded of "ball and chain" cliches and told by male friends that the wrong woman can ruin their life. women on the other hand are pressured by everyone in their lives to settle down and have kids ASAP. simply having a man who likes you enough to marry you is a prize for women. and this partially biological, partially societal pressure is what leads us to accepting shitty treatment and incompatible men that will end up making our lives terrible down the line. the two worst things that women accept in relationships because they'd rather have someone than nobody are:

1) someone who is not obsessed with them and

2) someone who has fundamental differences from them that crop up again and again and are near impossible to change

Starting with 1, women will know when a guy is obsessed with them and they will feel it when he's not. plenty of women are gaslit in their younger years because they can sense something is off. this is our female intuition telling us there is something missing, the guy is not in love, he is not willing to do everything it takes to have a good relationship. this may lead to increased sensitivity, attempting to over-communicate, and a whole slew of reactions that most likely will end up with the woman being called crazy. this can lead to women wondering if they will ever have a successful romantic love at all, since they are obviously so insane. if this sounds like you, know that you are probably 100% fine and would not act crazy in a relationship with a guy that made it clear you were his top priority. women stay in up and down relationships for years because they question their worth, and they feel anxious in these relationships because deep down they know something's off. a man like this may end up proposing, and the woman will accept because she thinks this will solve everything and he will finally be all in. he won't, and the woman suffers.

And then number 2. FDS rightfully emphasizes the importance of screening and vetting. most women are not good about setting standards and keeping them. again this is partially because everyone tells us our standards are unreasonable. but this doesn't just apply to obvious external factors like financial instability or a deadbeat career. women need to better vet personality traits that are going to lead to a peaceful quality of life for the couple down the line. do you have two completely separate communication styles? do you have diametrically opposite approaches to friendships? do you have cultural differences that seem incompatible? if you constantly butt heads about these irreconcilable factors, especially early on in a relationship, this will only build resentment with time. we are taught to just fight through it, that if we work hard enough we can reconcile any difference. but sometimes love is not enough. my advice is to be much more liberal with cutting off men from the get-go that have personality traits that you cannot understand or agree with, and which cannot be changed without a huge compromise on someone's part. your #1 goal should be a peaceful, comfortable existence with your partner, and large fundamental differences will undermine this goal. plus, most men aren't good at changing anyway, their true selves will inevitably shine through.

keep these things in mind when you date, and try to shut off the voice in your head that will say "maybe he will change, maybe he will be the one and i will regret leaving"... you wont. it will be easier than you think to move on from guys who are not that into you, and who have fundamental differences from you. stay vigilant for signs of either of these things and don't get involved with men for longer than a few months when they show them.