i (21F) dated this guy for three years. i have abandonment issues and have no friends and don't know how to keep myself going without him... he was my first real love. had good memories together. but the bad memories hold me down... the relationship was toxic. we were codependent on eachother. i wasn't great in the relationship either. he was mental abusive, manipulative, controlling, raped me. his family was judgmental of me, mean to me, talked badly of me in front of me. we still find a way back to eachother and it gets toxic again. but i have no friends and my abandonment issues kick in. i always fear something bad is going to happen to him and i won't be there to know. we both know we need to let eachother go. but for some reason I can't... i need advice on how to do it... i need help. i dont know what to do😔