You should never be financially losing when you're in a relationship. If he expects you to pay his bill, pay for dinner, be the maid, take your damn self out, love.

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2021-01-08T04:04:57+00:00

That's the thing women forget about 50/50 dates. A date should be a man attempting to impress you. If you're going to pay 100% of your own bill, go with an actual real friend, and enjoy the meal 100%. There is no reason for you to pay to entertain some stranger who is 95% likely to just be wasting your time.

Myplummms · 2021-01-08T03:22:05+00:00

LVM can be pernicious and greedy with your time. If he becomes a distraction enough away from your career/goals, he's a liability.

MiaWallace995 · 2021-01-08T12:54:53+00:00

I just started becoming financially 'aware'. I was stupid enough to believe the 'love is enough money doesn't matter' bs. Money is not everything, but it matters! I started noticing financial patterns about my bf and his family, he/they would complain about basic ration costs while 'investing' in cameras and property. Ladies please pay attention to your SO's money habits!

Dontstopmenow2021 · 2021-01-08T13:02:18+00:00

YES YES and YES one more time!!!

There was this post yesterday about the false narrative of providers. I get it. If you expect a man to provide while you'll stay home, you may setting yourself up for failure because if he leaves...you get nothing and you made yourself dependent on his money.

BUT OP did not seem to consider the possibility of having a career, money of your own and still dating providers. That's the way to go.

This being said how do you justify it? I've never cooked or cleaned for a man in my entire life and it will never happen but I for sure expect him to be the provider type. I personally see it as this: we still do most of the emotional work in a relationship, keeping up physically costs a lot of money, and we live in a man's world so my money is my money. Some people will say I'm delusional, nope, I'm ready to be single if I don't meet a HVM who is also a provider, because even going 70/30 with one my ex, I still ended up spending more money than if I were by myself.

_boring_daven_ · 2021-01-08T07:21:10+00:00

Don’t open yourself up to being taken advantage of. Trust is earned, not given. You wouldn’t leave your car unlocked and unattended to “give trust to the world”.

Also, never pay someone else’s bills. When you’re married, they’re your bills too. When you’re unmarried, his bills are his bills alone. Only an entitled man would even ask you to pay for his bills.

temproaryusername · 2021-01-08T17:09:35+00:00

I wish I understood this before I invested thousands of dollars into situationships. Then you add on top all of the money I spent on hair products, makeup, hair removal, birth control, perfume, clothes, lingerie.... its not a wonder women are usually at a financial disadvantage.

On the plus side, now that I do not talk to men socially, my savings account is nice and fat, I spoil myself rotten the exact way I always wanted to be, I act/look however I want, I have more time, I'm more confident (despite looking more like an "ogre" (ie natural, the way God made me) each day) and Im happier than ever. So its working out :)

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