“The Wall” has always been a morbidly fascinating and hilarious concept to me. In real life, I very rarely meet a woman in her 30’s that is immediately distinguishable from one in her mid-late twenties. Men are even more useless at guessing than other women are. The notion that we immediately explode into a pile of gray hairs and wrinkly skin on our 30th birthday should be laughable to any boy over the age of 13, yet, this concept of “The Wall” gets parroted by bitter Reddit losers as gospel.

A few years ago, I dated this guy. His cousin was literally a supermodel. Like, a shot/walked for Victoria’s Secret, you’ve-probably-heard-of-her supermodel. Being the intelligent, enterprising woman she is, she wanted to test the waters for a new business idea. Her idea just happened to be in the same industry I work in, so she hired me to do some consulting work.

The three of us were on a phone call one night and she told us to Google her to find a particular campaign she had worked on. Her information popped up on the right column of search results and my boyfriend immediately stopped.

“Wait. I'm five years younger than you! Why does this say you were born three years after me??” She’s almost a decade older than her Wikipedia page states, and no one has a fucking clue.

She laughed and said it was super common for models and actors to have completely fake names and ages. I don’t mean fake names like “Chanel Iman Robinson Shepard” decided to go by “Chanel Iman.” I mean like an unbelievably good looking woman was born with a super unfortunate name and had it legally changed to something completely made up so she could be more marketable. Some of them even have completely fabricated backgrounds. That “exotic” South African beauty? There’s a chance she might be from Ohio.

Celebrity tricks have totally destroyed men’s concept of what a woman in her thirties/forties looks like. “The Wall” is not coming for you, ladies. Rub it in their faces.