I call it the "puritarchy"

StandardFaire · 2023-12-01T22:18:04+00:00

It took me a while to realize that everything I’ve been taught to believe is a “problem with pornography” has either very little or nothing to do with pornography itself.

frackingfaxer · 2023-12-02T02:38:24+00:00

I couldn't agree more. So many debates about porn, and sex work more broadly, devolve into puritanical appeals to disgust and special pleading about how uniquely different and magical and holy sex is. Even non-religious people often end up saying much the same thing, only stripped of religious language.

It's not that porn should be above criticism; it certainly shouldn't. Rather, it's that the anti-porn types tend to be fundamentalists, who have a totalizing view on the matter, lacking any degree of nuance. Porn can't just be a bad thing, it has to be some unique evil that must be eradicated at all costs. The most extreme example of this is probably Catharine MacKinnon's infamous claim that porn caused literal genocidal violence and ethnic cleansing in the former Yugoslavia. It's a claim so ridiculous and quite frankly insulting that it probably doesn't deserve refuting. Though I will point out: pornography in contemporary Western society is orders of magnitude more widespread and available than in 80s Yugoslavia, so if porn caused genocide then and there, you'd think we'd all already be dead, having killed each other in an orgy of omnicidal violence. Again, porn can't just be bad, it has to be literally genocidal. How is there supposed to be any rational level-headed discussion when that's the kind of discourse put out by the antis?

Now, what I will say about pornography today is that an unlimited amount of it is now accessible to all of us on a level unimaginable just a generation ago. Meanwhile, actual human sexual relations have seemingly become more difficult and unavailable than ever. Young people today are having less sex than ever. Compared to their parents and grandparents, Millennials and Zoomers are the celibate generations. In other words, while watching porn is easier than ever, having sex is harder than ever, so the former is increasingly becoming a substitute for the latter. I'm concerned that we are becoming like the herbivore men of Japan, men who have completely given up on sex and relationships with women in favour of the ease of pornography.

If there is to be a solution to this, it won't be to rid the world of porn, as if such a thing were even possible. Rather, we need to look at the underlying reasons for the so-called sex recession, of which there are many. I'm convinced some of those reasons involve the demonization of male sexuality and how sex and relationships are turning into legal minefields for men.

papamerfeet · 2023-12-01T22:12:46+00:00

This is the issue that brought me here. Holy shit I’m bombarded now with anti-porn sentiment is anyone else getting that? It seems like it’s genuinely becoming a trend and it makes me super sad. I feel so bad for all the guys suffering needlessly every time I see anti-porn sentiment. I wish they could achieve mental freedom. This puritanical culture sucks I wish we could find the roots and excise them

IllumiXXZoldyck · 2023-12-02T06:13:54+00:00

Pretty much anything I could say here has been espoused in a much more detailed manner than I would have. Point being, moderation is key. And people who can’t handle a medium typically have issues prior that do not stem directly from the medium itself, that may in fact draw them to abuse it. I normally compare it to social drinking vs alcoholism or the irresponsibility of getting behind a wheel drunk, but I realize now that the former (pornography) has way less drawbacks in comparison, not that (as some of you have mentioned) it is beyond reproach.

Also troubling, is the compounding inability to distinguish fantasy from reality. In virtually any show, be it action, thrillers, or even RomComs, there are a slew of scenarios or actions taken that partially or completely would not be acceptable in real life, meant to be comedically (or otherwise) absurd. And these fantasies or other fictional depictions are absolutely acceptable, be they confined to a screen (or other story-telling medium).

If you begin to find yourself increasingly treating people in real life as a commodity for objectification, that is a you problem. Plus the “porn is unrealistic” crowd (which it often can be) and “it promotes an unattainable standard” crowd, fail to discern any nuance between, respectively, professional and amateur shoots or the sheer diversity of what is presented in terms of body-types whether conventional or unconventional, but I digress.

There are issues, they are just often not what sex-negative (or any spectrum of prude) individuals make them out to be.

BannanasAreEvil · 2023-12-02T11:39:12+00:00

Consumption of porn itself isn't bad, but one has to wonder if we as a society (especially males) have come to rely on porn more now then ever?

When you look at society it's becoming more black and white when it comes to sex then ever before. We are to blame though, for allowing this to happen. We've regulated the human body to something that is either sexual in nature or not at all.

What I mean by this is the human form is seen as purely sexual in nature when naked! This has pushed our society to create 2 different worlds.

One in which we must not be seen naked for fear of being sexualized. The world where urinals have dividers, showers are in stalls, the human body is compared to media instead of real life. This world is sheltering the young from accepting nudity as non sexual in nature, manifesting into hyper sexualization of the human form

The other world is full of the 1% of the population who have the body or anatomy we are consuming. Over sexualized, above average proportions, unfettered willingness to perform any and all sexual acts.

Most males between the ages of 10-14 will now have seen more penises in porn then they have in real life and those penises are typically far above average with camera tricks or not. Those same young men are seeing sexual acts being performed without context and warping their mind to what is "expected" not just of the acts but of them themselves.

So this world now gives men and boys an outlet, a way to satisfy their sexual urges that is easy to acquire. Is showing them unrealistic scenarios and depictions of the human form doing things and it's easy to see the appeal. In turn those young men are faced with a dilemma, consume something that is easy and satisfying or brave the world for something that has the chance to be potentially better.

Our black and white society has pushed sex into the darkest of places. We have more porn available then ever, yet it's competing with sex and not along side of it. Men are resorting to porn or are men simply choosing porn over sex?

It would be easy to just blame men and say they are choosing porn over sex and end it at that. The problem with this is I don't see many men saying they prefer porn over sex, but simply seem to be relying on it for lack of any other outlet or opportunity!

Men have a higher libido than women, so it's no surprise men consume more pornography. The amount being consumed in relation to actual sex being had is in fact the reason for so.much consumption. The male libido is finite and not infinite, if their libido isn't being satisfied via actual sex it will be satisfied via pornography/masturbation. The more sex a man has the far less porn they consume.

Yet society doesn't want to discuss what it is doing and instead wants to blame men for what it has created (much like every other social issue involving men). Women are just as responsible for male porn consumption as men are. In a world where Tinder and female promiscuity is on the rise, the amount of sexless relationships is rising as well. If men are in committed relationships but those relationships are sexless it pushes not only them but "perceptive" men as well to step away and rely on porn.

Women don't need to have sex with men, they are people and have autonomy. Yet if they are choosing not to have sex in a committed relationship, the signals being sent out to society is that porn is the outlet for men to use! So they can't bitch about men's consumption of porn when their partners needs are not being met by them resulting in it's consumption.

Wild_Aioli · 2023-12-03T02:49:31+00:00

Another factor is people conflate issues from porn with issues from loneliness. These people willfully ignore the harmful effects of severe loneliness and pin it on porn because the severely lonely use porn more, and the puritans have an agenda.

Sea-Place-8279 · 2023-12-03T03:26:01+00:00

Anti porn sentiment is also very demeaning to male sexuality

Lumpy_Shake2890 · 2023-12-01T21:59:02+00:00

I had the thought that one of the biggest failings of the internet-age was not coming to a consensus on how to keep pornography out of the wrong hands. Much of the harm from porn is from or are gonna come from people consuming it who are not mentally or emotionally prepared to distinguish between fantasy or reality in that way. Couple that with a refusal of many parents to engage in sex education and you have the current state of affairs where these kids are now grown and are still trying to play out these fantasies, often to harmful results (for themselves and others) and the shame behind sexual expression persisting (particularly for men, I would say). Two seemingly opposing forces working in tandem to make misery for everyone.

webernicke · 2023-12-01T23:14:50+00:00

Crazy thing about porn is that, for every negative point lobbed against it, it actually comes out surprisingly rosy and even positive compared to probably every other form of popular media when you really think about it.

CzechoslovakianJesus · 2023-12-02T21:27:48+00:00

"Porn addiction" is a convenient copout that turns a wider, societal issue into a matter of individual moral failure. No need to consider atomization and alienation under Capitalism, the death of third spaces and increasing difficulty of meeting people, or the destructive self-sabotaging paranoia peddled by feminism; just blame men and call them gross!

BKEnjoyerV2 · 2023-12-04T04:03:16+00:00

There’s weird strands of Puritanism on both sides today really

DrewYetti · 2023-12-02T06:56:48+00:00

So you feel people should watch porn guilt free despite the harmful effects in the long run.

Title	I call it the "puritarchy"
Author	GibdethIGuess
Upvotes	79
Comments	51
Date	December 1, 2023 7:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/188kthh/i_call_it_the_puritarchy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/i-call-it-the-puritarchy.1239812 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239812

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