I'm sure most of us are acutely aware of how much women's crime concerns in public spaces has been a hot-button issue for social media, often in ways that don't reflect popular real-life opinion. From the 2014 NYC catcalling video to the post-Sarah Everard femicide panic (which conveniently ignored that it was police brutality, not the result of her being trustful of men) to the bear thing and so much in between that implies being AFAB is some curse that requires women to inconvenience themselves for safety and justice wont be had unless men never share a nighttime sidewalk with women.

Obviously everyone is entitled to their opinions and women are free to avoid men if they choose as long as they bear the burden (like crossing the street themselves for comfort).

I believe that for many women who have fears of crime that do not match statistics, it may be the result of trauma. That does not give them the right to call police to harass innocent men minding their business or confront said men for not crossing the street, but maybe it means that the most productive solution for everyone is to respond in a way that is trauma-informed. That is, asking if they are struggling with something deeper while promising not to judge, reminding that what happened in the past wasnt their fault, and framing seeking help from a professional as empowerment because they dont deserve to suffer. I think police should be trained in this.

In other words, don't self-flagellate to accommodate their trauma (like submitting to demands that sound like gender apartheid) but also don't "school" them on crime stats or civil liberties or mock their fear. Neither addresses the root of the issue and only fans the flames of the gender war.

In fact, i think part of the ranting about how "women have it so hard at night" may stem from institutional issues involving law enforcement, how they not only victim-blame in many cases but also that they have a long history of being trauma-uninformed.

By no means should trauma-informed response be limited to women's safety. It should also occur in cases involving mental illness and violence against men and boys.

I know many of you on this sub have personal traumas that you've felt have been laughed at because of your gender. If any of you have stories of how certain institutional responses have been trauma-uninformed, I'm all ears and will never mock it. Even if its something that most people wouldnt call traumatic, not everyone processes it the same.

Here's a personal anecdote: I do not fear homeless people, but a friend of mine does because of trauma. He grew up in Egypt and watched an unhoused man pick up his classmate by the neck on the street and dig his sharp nails in which caused an infection. He's also been in some terrifying situations when he was a NYC cab driver and as a result even has some difficulty not profiling to the point that he has internalized post-9/11 bigotry against his people. At first I argued with him when he demanded we avoid those who look homeless but then i asked if it stems from trauma and he told me his horror stories and i made sure to be sympathetic, so from now on I know better than to argue with him. I've also offered to help if he wants to find therapy.

A tangent: Does anyone here ride the metro system in Los Angeles? I ask because i have been learning about their "ambassador" program. I'll be visiting next month and plan to ask questions to learn more, but my understanding is that they are supposed to be mindful of those in crisis while balancing passenger safety. Not all crime concerns need to involve going straight to armed police. I think that their presence might not only help women who might be harassed on their commute but also men whose actions may be misinterpreted. Addressing the root causes of the issues.