Sexual confusion

MMDT · 2020-06-23T01:02:46+00:00

This article nails what I've been thinking about for a long time now. I have a lot to say so sorry for the long post.

The culture right now is sending two contradictory messages to people, particularly to women:

1) Maximize your sexual encounters, sexual liberation is empowering, enjoy sex like men do.

2) Sex is the most sacred, important autonomy you have over your body. Any transgression, no matter how small, is the worst possible thing that could happen to you and can ruin your life.

Also keep in mind, and this is just being real: At every step of the way it is the guys job to escalate things with the woman. Yes, exceptions exist where the woman will lead the way but for the vast majority of sex the guy is the one escalating at every step.

What this means is, men and women live in a culture where it's understood that sex is always a possibility. People hookup at work, at school, at the gym... wherever. Women are therefore ALWAYS in a position where someone can court them (ie attempt an escalation). But now we treat any escalation she doesn't want as an absolutely heinous crime and treat her as if she's been through the most horrible experience imaginable. It's really the most ridiculous situation you can imagine. A woman might be ok with flirting, but if you ask on her a date that's pushing the boundary. She might be ok with grabbing coffee or studying together, but if you touch her hand that's pushing a boundary. She might be ok with holding hands, but if you make a joke about sex that's pushing a boundary.

To give an example, imagine two students, or colleagues, or friends or anything. They are chatting. Now if the guy has any interest in her (which if she's young and attractive he does), he will attempt to escalate. It could be a mildly flirtatious joke, a compliment on her looks, anything. If it goes well, hey great, noone even thinks about it. If it goes wrong, she now constructs the narrative that the guy was a predator, she's a victim, she's been creeped on, subject to sexual harassment and this is just yet another example of guys thinking they're entitled to sex. She can screenshot the messages and the guy is now a filthy creep hitting on people he shouldn't have been.

But say it goes well and she responds well to the flirting. The guy now obviously has hope that this could lead to sex. So he needs to escalate again... and again and again and again. And at every step of the way, at every escalation, it's either going to go well and nobody will think twice about it, or it won't go well and she now believes she's been harassed, or worse, raped.

The problem for guys is, for every awkward encounter that goes wrong, there's a parallel universe where it went ok and you moved forward. If a guy tries to escalate to flirting, that could go either way. To body contact, that could go either way. To kissing, to grabbing a butt, to inviting her to his place, to sex. Every step of the way could go either way. And if it goes ok, nobody thinks about it, if it goes wrong, the guy is now in the impossible position of having to explain why he's trying to flirt or hold hands or kiss or have sex with a girl who didn't want it. Of course this cannot be explained, so in most cases he's simply forced to apologize which only confirms the perception that he did something wrong and she is a victim.

Furthermore, all these supposed rules about "you don't hit on people in this situation" are BULLSHIT. Again, this creates Schrodinger's rapist: For every successful courting that happens at work, in a study group, at the gym, at the library or wherever else, there's a parallel universe where the courting didn't work and the guy is now being chastised: "She's here to work/study/workout/read, she doesn't want to be hit on you creep!". For every drunk guy who had sex with a drunk girl and is now classed as a rapist, there's 10 other instances of drunk sex that went on where nobody thought twice about it.

One final thing I'd like to say is that treating awkward sexual encounters as the worst possible thing that could happen to you, that it scars you for life, is not good for the girls. It's teaching women to view men through a zero-trust lens. What this means is, imagine you come home from a shop and discover you've been short changed. If you believe it's an innocent mistake, you probably won't be so peeved. If you believe it was on purpose, it could very well ruin your day. You now have a whole host of baggage to contend with: "Someone has conned me, I'm stupid for not checking, this doesn't happen to anyone else, but was it really my fault, the shopkeeper is the asshole, fuck my head is a mess."

I think the vast majority of sexual transgressions are not done because the guy is some secret rapist getting off on ruining her life, it's done because he's just as shy, scared and doesn't know what he's doing as much as she does. Really, how many guys want to make a girl feel uncomfortable? Sure it happens, but 99% of guys really want to make a girl feel happy and want to have her to earnestly desire him. That's what guys want.

But no, like with the shopkeeper example, women are pushed to view the situation through the low-trust lens.. in other words the way that is most harmful to them. The guy wasn't awkward and unsure when he tried to kiss you, he was a predator and trying to rape you and take your bodily autonomy.

This is not to say there are no predators out there, but I think the number is WAY WAY less than how feminism treats it. Right now men who have a single bad escalation are treated in the same way as actual rapists. And girls who are escalated on who don't want it are being told to treat it in same mindset as if they had been actually harassed or even raped. It's truly the most ridiculous thing. Again, guys don't want to make girls feel bad, we get off on seeing that we can make them happy.

Here's some examples from popular media to show what i'm talking about:

When Jim lifts up Pam in the office. One second it is happy and playful and a successful escalation, the next second it's not. In our current world, Jim could have well found himself in a HR meeting having to explain why he's touching up the body of girl he works with, borderline taking her shirt off.

Freaks and Geeks - Staring at a girl until she kisses you. Boys first kiss, didn't know what he's doing, took advice from his cool friend and luckily it worked. In a parallel universe, the girl is in a position where "I just wanted to look at the light show, but he wouldn't stop staring at me. I felt so uncomfortable. When I asked what he wanted he said he wants to kiss me. I was so scared so I did it. I've kept this story to myself for years... but he's a predator and it needs to be said".

Fifty Shades of Grey... the whole damn thing. Don't even need to explain this one. There's a parallel universe where "I was just there to do my job and this powerful billionaire manipulated me into doing S&M with him.... i felt so powerless, i knew he had the power to destroy my career if I said no"

ShawshankRetention · 2020-06-22T18:53:44+00:00

Interesting article. And quite a bit of black pill science.

Title	Sexual confusion
Author	Blauwpetje
Upvotes	17
Comments	14
Date	June 22, 2020 3:17 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/hdu7bx/sexual_confusion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/sexual-confusion.1197236 https://theredarchive.com/post/1197236

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