I have made similar posts about this in the past. But I hope to make a bigger impact with this post though. And I will split this post into 3 parts, so I can get my points across better.

There will always a factor about a man that challenge male gender roles. And often this man usually face push back in society for challenging male gender norms. Push back from both conservatives and progressives. Yes even progressives themselves (whether they be male feminists or female feminists). Progressives still want to maintain the status quo of male gender roles. So when I say society in this post. I'm talking about the society both conservatives and progressives make.

Part 1: Sexuality.

For example, there is this sexual orientation called demisexuality, I know it sounds weird guys, but stay with me here for the example. It's basically a sexual orientation where people only feel sexual attraction once they form emotional bonds with other people. I noticed that it's usually women that are openly demisexual. After talking to multiple demisexual men. In their experiences they say that women are usually turn off by the fact they don't try to push for sex in the beginning of the relationship.

It almost similar to asexuality. Where women are more likely to be openly asexual compare to men. And heck we all know about the classic trope about society accepting bisexual women more than bisexual men. What demisexuality, asexuality, and bisexuality all have is common. Is that all 3 go against male gender roles, like the idea of men always being these sex craze freaks for women. So to society only heterosexual men can embody this form of "masculinity".

Part 2: Personality traits.

But enough talk about sexuality though. There are even certain personality traits or beliefs men can have that challenge the status quo by default. As an asocial man I have seen a lot of pushback for being asocial. It starts off with people always asking the annoying "why are you so quiet" question lol. I don't usually view everything through a gender lens. But it's hard for me to ignore the fact that asocial men are specifically view as abnormal in society.

In my experience most people wouldn't question asocial women that much, outside asking the annoying question. I honestly believe asocial men challenge certain male gender roles when it comes to men being expected to be extroverted or leaders. Lone wolf men can't be leaders that inspire other people. Therefore society view asocial men as abnormal, because extroversion is associated with masculinity.

Even something as simple as a man having a standoffish/unfriendly personality can be view as something that challenge the status quo in society. The funny thing here is, in popular media. Where it's actually portray as a good thing for women to be standoffish. I have seen this numerous times in media, across different genres and mediums. Where you can have a female character who is always moody or always has a serious face. Then you have your typical male character who is portray as a misogynistic jerk, tells her to smile more. And everytime that male character gets a rude awakening for saying that.

But in reality men being standoffish or unfriendly towards women is seen as a taboo thing in society. Because of male gender roles like men always being expected to be chivalrous or kind to any women they see. Of course this is benevolent sexism, but benevolent sexism is a part of the status quo too, since it's convenient (especially for progressives). In my experience and other men experience I have seen women say it's a form of toxic masculinity for men to act like this, I kid you not. So society has a "positive masculinity" standard that unfriendly men go against by default.

Part 3: Beliefs.

Again I hate to view everything through a gender lens here, since not everything is based on gender. But I noticed even the way a man can view the world can go against the status quo. I noticed this a lot with views like misanthropy, nihilism, and cynicism.

I identify as a misanthrope. And I had a hilarious interaction with my sisters and female cousins one day. I was explaining what misanthrope meant to them, so I just told them I don't like most people. And they were ok with this definition at first. Until one of my sisters said "oh wait does that mean you don't like women too?". And my response was "well women are people right, so they can be disliked too". And all of them got very confused after hearing this. Like they couldn't fathom that I could put men and women in the same boat, and thought I should only dislike men. The "women are wonderful" affect was definitely a reasoning for their reaction here.

And when it comes to nihilism and cynicism. Even though these are two different ways to view the world. But the society still views both the same, especially when it comes men and gender roles. At some point society expect most men to be optimistic. So all men must have a purpose in life. Their masculine purpose some would call it. Nihilism is kind of the opposite of that. So in a way Nihilistic views go against traditional ideas of masculinity.

And cynicism kind of go against traditional masculinity too. Optimism is also associated with men being confident, ambitious, and very goal oriented. So cynical men are viewed as losers or weirdos in society. Even the media associate cynicism with incels. But on the flip side cynical women aren't judge this hard by society though, since female cynicism is treated as a realistic thing. Especially in progressive places. Especially when feminists say they have no hope in men, because men will always make the world violent, or they have no hope in future generations, because young boys will always be misogynistic. While most women would consider a cynical man a turn off in a relationship, since men are always expected to be optimistic.

To bring it back to the nihilism. I honestly believe there is a gender nihilism that upsets the status quo and makes most people feel uncomfortable. I remember making a post on another sub about the idea of men having "positive male role models" is silly and not a good solution for men issues. Because the idea of a "positive male role model" will still uphold the status quo, since that "positive male role model" is very likey to forced the same standards like male gender roles on all men through a fake "positive masculinity" lens. And both conservatives and progressives love to shoved this "positive masculinity" narrative down men throats.

In comments I got a lot of push back. Someone in the comments even said to me this is pointless because there will never be a positive male role model standard that would make you happy. You will always have this NIHILISTIC (capitalize on purpose) outlook. And my reply to that person was "that's the point". Having a standard for all men is silly, because men are not a hive mind, they are individuals. It would be considered sexist if society had a positive femininity standard for all women. Especially if all that positive femininity standard did was just reinforced female gender norms.

In conclusion.

Off topic here, I don't know if these personality traits or beliefs affect unattractive men and attractive men differently. I know you can also argue that attractive man would have it worse and face more pushbacm, because they can stand out more. Since unattractive men are invisible in society. So maybe society does take a "As a man how dear you be attractive and have all these undesirable traits" approach to attractive men lol.

But honestly I think you could create a category that fits both part 2 and part 3. But I can't put my finger on what the name of this category would be though. Meaning I'm still not sure what the main correlation is here. When it comes to how soceity view male gender roles and certain beliefs/traits some men have.