When I was in college, I would go to parties and girls would start dancing on me without asking me first. They’d rub their asses and boobs all over me. At the time, I enjoyed it immensely, but now I feel traumatized by it. Some of those girls would even have sex with me while I was intoxicated. I wish I had been sober so I could’ve just said no. I wish I would’ve said no, even though that was literally the only reason I was going to those parties in the first place. At my first job, one of the women working there would affectionately squeeze my shoulder and flirt with me. What a fucking creep! I wish I had reported her, but I was young and naive at the time so I just let it slide even though I kinda enjoyed the attention. At my third job, my boss would wink at me on occassion in social settings. It may not have been sexual at all, but I reported her anyway. After that, a girlfriend had sex with me in the middle of the night, but since I was not fully awake, I could not consent. She’s now in jail for rape. Now, girls avoid me, and I have no idea why! /s

I sincerely hope that, if women start trying to prosecute guys for all their petty #metoo bullshit, guys go ahead and turn that right back around on them. They’ve certainly earned it.