Stopping drinking.

BrooklynMikey · 2019-01-06T16:31:41+00:00

Hang in there brother. Sometimes we get another chance. It looks like you got one.

abhilash1991 · 2019-01-06T16:54:13+00:00

Congrats! Hope you leave it behind for good.

Trelerium_Demons · 2019-01-06T17:54:11+00:00

didn't know where else to post this so i'm sorry if it doesn't fit with like the vibe of this subreddit.

MGTOW is a great place to post it. Turning to alcohol is much more common in men, because as a man no one is ever truly in your corner. We're not supposed to acknowledge, let alone discuss our problems. So were much more prone to turn to the bottle.

Another good sub which might be worth your time is r/stopdrinking. I've taken a 4+ month break from drinking and I participate there. I drank nightly for almost 20 years. An interesting book I read and would recommend to anyone interested in the topic - The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction Is Not A Disease. It's written by a neuroscientist who is an ex addict. He discusses the minds proclivity to form and reinforce patterns and how that feature serves to create and bolster addiction. He shows that this isn't something unique to those who have formed addictions. It's not a disease one is relegated to live with.

Congrats on quitting. Very commendable.

krenovinspired · 2019-01-06T17:06:34+00:00

One day at a time, brother. Or one minute, one hour ... whatever it takes.

Badthrowaway2928 · 2019-01-06T17:17:01+00:00

That's good to hear. I stopped 4 months ago. I only drank once maybe twice a week, but the last time I did, it made me feel like shit.

You got this bro. Stay the course. It's worth it

ThatCard · 2019-01-06T17:43:22+00:00

Give it a daily read: r/Stopdrinking

Men & women are fucking up their lives.

Keep_America_Free · 2019-01-06T18:23:03+00:00

“Sorry if it doesn’t fit with the vibe of this subreddit”

We’re improving our lives and bettering ourselves every day. Why wouldn’t that fit in?

But seriously, I wish you the best of luck and i hope you can beat this.

marketing-issues · 2019-01-06T19:52:09+00:00

I was a total alci.

Once you quit drinking for a long time, you'll be surprised at how much time and money the drinkers are wasting at the bar. And you'll be surprised with how much better you feel each morning. And you'll be surprised how unhealthy long-time drinkers look.

The best gift in the world, is just to wakeup healthy and sober, after a good night sleep, with no drama.

unpluggedoasis · 2019-01-06T21:34:09+00:00

[deleted]

boisdevie · 2019-01-06T17:18:04+00:00

I too am an alcoholic. I gave up drinking about 5 years ago. In the last week before I stopped I drank a bottle of whisky every day. I was lucky that I stopped because otherwise I'd be dead.

I applaud you on the courage to say what you've said her and the courage to take control of your life.

I'm no expert but if you think I can be of any help or support please PM me. You are most definitely not on your own and don't for one minute think that you are.

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2019-01-06T17:26:19+00:00

I regret that I have but one upvote for this post.

owninfools007 · 2019-01-06T19:22:13+00:00

I only drink privately now. At home, at my pace, and hassle free. Then again I’m glad you’ve acknowledged you have a problem and took action to solve it.

SuperSkullomania · 2019-01-06T20:24:05+00:00

I quit drinking a couple of years back and it was one of the best things I've ever done for myself in numerous ways. I always used to drink too much because I'd get nervous going to parties or out to pubs & clubs so I'd tan a few beers pretty fast and then wouldn't really know how to slow down again after I got a bit of a buzz.

Ironically after I quit I realised it was the alcohol causing the low self esteem in some way and without it (alcohol) my confidence levels went back to normal. Now I can go to parties etc. sober and it doesn't bother me.

Good luck with it, hope you stick it out.

sedstar · 2019-01-06T16:51:28+00:00

no, thats cool. working on your personal development? this is working on improving yourself, good shit.

Disbursed-operant · 2019-01-06T18:32:36+00:00

Hey good for you. It's a healthy decision for you both physically and mentally.

Heres a key though. You have to replace the alcohol with something that:

Requires effort and concentration (to keep your mind engaged so you dont get bored and turn to the bottle)
Constructive and rewarding (can be focusing on hour job more, or a hobby that pays off in some way) that will give you a mental high from completing something that took effort, thus taking care of those happy endorphins.

One day at a time, all the way to success.

Warlock1892 · 2019-01-06T19:13:17+00:00

Stay strong! I am thinking of quitting too. Not that I drink really lot, but sometimes getting drunk and then having morning after feels like a waste of time and health. There are other ways to spend time, either alone or with bros, that do not require alcohol.

unpluggedoasis · 2019-01-06T19:59:55+00:00

I am in the same boat. It needs to end, all the bad decisions in my life can be traced back to one thing - alcohol. It is pure evil and the good times are FAR outweighed by the bad.

Stay strong OP, there are others int he same boat.

OddPhilosopher1 · 2019-01-06T20:48:42+00:00

I'm 25 and stopped when I was 20. Can honestly say I don't miss it at all, except for the taste of some of the drinks. But the drunken buzz? I don't miss it, and I'm very thankful for it. Stay strong buddy, and stay alive. Alcohol is not necessary for a happy life, and in my opinion it's detrimental to one, since it creates chemical imbalances in you brain and body that make you feel shittier than normal when you're not drunk. Straight Edge is a hard way, but a rewarding one.

[deleted] · 2019-01-06T18:28:59+00:00

Check out r/stopdrinking. I quit too and that sub helps a lot.

killerB93 · 2019-01-06T20:12:05+00:00

If you're on the path to better yourself try stopping watching porn too

CrackingYs · 2019-01-06T20:17:52+00:00

Congrats. I've had mixed results quitting alcohol. I'm what you'd call a functional alcoholic. Quitting, initially, is easy for me. But I found staying quit is nearly impossible for a variety of reasons and eventually I'd fall back into a daily drinking routine. These days I'm finding an okay middle ground of having one night a week (friday or saturday) as the "beer night" and try to go the rest of the week without any. That works pretty well for me because I have the whole week to be "healthy", and I tend not to overdo it because my alcohol tolerance is way down. Find what works for you and try not to fall into the same traps.

ClonazolamIsMe · 2019-01-06T19:17:39+00:00

Good thing I sleep face down.

harmonic_blast · 2019-01-06T20:28:16+00:00

You're making the right choice, man.

CryingHappyMonkey · 2019-01-06T21:17:27+00:00

Drinking makes me feel worse most of the time. Sometimes I want that. If I want to feel good, I use pot. The problems are still there when you come down, but at least for a while you can forget them.

NotLuceBree · 2019-01-06T21:24:42+00:00

Good for you brother.

Whenever you're struggling you know you can come here for support and encouragement, plus we will call you on your bullshit.

Happy for you, young brother!

13GOLGO13 · 2019-01-06T22:43:28+00:00

Good man. Never touch it again.

Linuxllc · 2019-01-06T22:59:10+00:00

I stop all substance abuse.

Stop smoking 4 days before graduating from High School.

Stop doing drugs at the age of 21.

Stop drinking at the age of 42.

Talk about saving a ton of money by not doing these three things in life. Now I'm just a computer Geek for life, to occupy my time.

Sixpeoplewilling · 2019-01-06T23:13:47+00:00

Good for you. I have a very good friend that stopped drinking recently and he's never been better. My advice is to fill your voids in life. People admire discipline. Stick with it brother.

DWShimoda · 2019-01-06T23:25:19+00:00

i'm 21 and

And are in the SAME boat that countless MILLONS of other young guys have been in... and done what you have done -- cleared out/poured out the liquor cabinet -- resolved to never drink again (or at least never get DRUNK like that ever again).

MOST are successful... notably WITHOUT labeling themselves as, or identifying as "alcoholics" -- doesn't mean they're in DENIAL, just not taking it on as an "identity."

i will always be an alcoholic, now i'm just one that doesn't drink.

You can CHOOSE to identify yourself in that manner, but know that it is likely to be counterproductive -- IOW your brain will possibly (probably) use it as an "excuse" to fall off the wagon in the future.*

There is a significant difference to "admitting" something, and "identifying" as that thing.

It is one thing to say "I am an alcoholic." or "I am a recovering alcoholic." (present tense) -- looking to the future when you can say "I was [or have been] an alcoholic." (past tense).
It is quite another to say "I will ALWAYS be an alcoholic."

Arguably the latter is NO BETTER than the person who is in utter DENIAL that they have one or another kind of habitual/ritual "alcohol consumption problem." They're just opposite "ditches": the "I don't have a problem" is the one ditch, and the "I'll always BE an alcoholic" is the other.

Neither is really a good place to be -- BOTH of them are forms of denial -- the one denying that there is a problem, the other denying "agency" & responsibility.

Now I'm not arguing against "abstaining" -- or even "abstinence" -- in fact it's probably a GOOD thing for you to keep that liquor cabinet empty, to avoid the "bar scene" and various "parties" etc... Just understand that you DON'T have to obsess over alcohol -- you don't have to remain THAT "attached" to it (negative attachments are STILL "attachments").

Imagine that you were once the boyfriend of a chick, let's call her "Brittany" -- and then you broke up with her (or she with you, whatever): Would you really want to change your name and go through life living as "Brittany's Ex Boyfriend"? Of course not! To do so would mean you were still obsessed with, "attached" to Brittany, your very identity would be based on your relationship status with her. Truly an ABSURD way to go through life.

So don't do that.

Yeah you HAD a problem with booze; yeah you're avoiding it entirely right now because you want to "get over that/move on from it"; you want to END old bad habits, and establish new/better/good ones etc. But eventually you'll get to a place where "booze" will be a NON-issue, a trivial and essentially irrelevant thing -- you'll be able to accept a beer from someone, and "meh... no biggy" you can drink it, maybe the whole can or perhaps only part of it -- you'll be able to "take it or leave it"; and ENTIRELY without getting drunk or binging, or having a hangover, much less having ANY concern that you will vomit or ever again "worship the porcelain throne" etc. (Because that WON'T be you.)

Best wishes!

* The way that (alas more's the pity) commonly works is that -- having made what is essentially a "vow" to never have ANY alcohol again (ever); and having (internally in your own mind) established your identity as "a alcoholic" (especially the "and ALWAYS will be" bit) -- some instance will occur where peer pressure or other circumstance (even "mistake" at some restaurant or bar & grill, perhaps some wedding or other party where you THINK you order/are getting just a "Coke" but it ends up being a "Rum & Coke" or perhaps you're handed some "punch" that {unknown to you, or the person who hands it to you, or even the host} has been "spiked" or... well whatever scenario) leads you to unintentionally "break" that vow... and of course the initial "taste" will probably be good.

The brain then goes into "guilt mode" -- not necessarily guilt over the drink itself, but rather over the fact that you LIKE it -- and then BAM! comes the (internal within the brain) reinforcement accusation that, shit... you really ARE still an alcoholic (BTW that's false, many people who are NOT alcoholics still LIKE an alcoholic drink; but your brain probably DOESN'T dwell on that fact, instead, it)... proceeds to feel that you have FAILED, ergo "in for a penny in for a pound"... you not only finish THAT drink, but you have more... and more... basically you binge.

Which of course triggers even MORE guilt (because after the first drink, now there's no denying the REST were by choice)... aaaaand... just like that you're back to square one. Your brain FALSELY "tricked" you into confirming it's own prior FALSE conclusion (that FALSE "identity")... it says "See I told you that you would ALWAYS be an alcoholic!" BZZZZT. Wrong.

Jackoffalltrades89 · 2019-01-06T23:48:32+00:00

At the time I’m replying, there’s a post about a bottle of Laphroaig 10 immediately adjacent to this. And you know what, that’s okay. Both are good posts because this sub is MGTOW, men going their OWN way. You do what you have to do to make your life the best it can be. For some, that’s enjoying a peaty scotch. For others that’s giving up alcohol. Same as some of us go monk and others pump and dump.

Do what you gotta do to survive in this world, brother, and don’t let anyone give you any crap for doing it.

Jakk100 · 2019-01-07T00:40:19+00:00

I feel that man, I’m an alcoholic too, had to give it up 2 years ago when I was 19 because I woke up vomiting blood all morning. It’s one hell of a sober up.

Alcohol free it’s amazing just how much time you have in the night to actually do things! Proud of a brother!

bubbsjdndjfifi · 2019-01-07T01:02:30+00:00

Alcohol is the only thing that makes me happy, not giving it up that easy

Thotsithinknots · 2019-01-07T01:08:50+00:00

Reading this right now with crippling neuropathy caused by binge drinking. My toes and hands are in extreme throbbing pain. Nobody told me how bad alchohol is for you. If you cant drink in moderation dont drink. Booze is poisonous

mansrandom · 2019-01-07T01:26:44+00:00

I recently stopped too brother. It's mainly because I was disgusted with myself on what I did on lots of alcohol.

Gordon-G · 2019-01-07T03:04:54+00:00

Stay strong bro 💪🏽

OkPhilosophy1 · 2019-01-07T03:33:47+00:00

Hey there internet-friend,

I had something similar happen to me to years back. I was a loser doing nothing with my life who had driven away all my friends with my depression-fueled narcissism and toxicity, so I filled the gap with a lot (a LOT, one night I drank a liter) of vodka. I woke up in the hospital one night after being found from a collapse. My liver was blowing up and all of internal chemistry was screwed. After a little start-and-stop I went sober, then occasionally binged once in a while, but after tapering off the last half year or so, I forced myself to have a toast at midnight at a New Years party, and now? I think I'm done. I really don't even want to drink anymore. It was a little off-and-on, but it can be beaten. I might not have much advice to give, but for what it's worth, if you do fall off the wagon again sometime, don't think about it too much. You can start being sober again the second you put down the glass. Don't feel like you ever can't escape it, or have failed refusing to drink. You can be alcohol-free anytime.

VampiricTyrant · 2019-01-07T00:02:12+00:00

In a month I'll have been sober for two years. Be strong, OP. I believe in you.

JacobSlav · 2019-01-06T18:10:02+00:00

Congratulations Bro. It will only make your life better. I stop about 3 years ago and it was best decision in my life.

coldh4nd · 2019-01-06T21:39:23+00:00

Addiction is a tough bitch, you really have to be determined on quitting and never look back. (speaking from experience)

throwmyaccountaway99 · 2019-01-06T23:47:53+00:00

Well, coupled with other health stuff i usually do, I won't drink or eat candy stuff this year either (like u know candy, cakes, maybe even snack stuff unless it's healthy).

Never was much of a drinker, but just noticed that neither of those make me feel too good or offer me that great of a satisfaction to justify the price.

BandaidBrigidier · 2019-01-07T00:35:11+00:00

Damn bro, glad you’re still with us. That’s a close call if I’ve ever seen one.

realChebz · 2019-01-07T01:17:04+00:00

I still drink maybe 1/4 glass of whiskey before sleep. I don't get shit faced anymore though.

Gracket_Material · 2019-01-07T01:55:49+00:00

Never understood how people get addicted to it but then again both my parents are drunks.

furiousaxeman · 2019-01-06T20:46:49+00:00

Try drinking 4-5 max. Helps I find instead of drinking 15 or a 26 oz.

Title	Stopping drinking.
Author	SolarStarLord97
Upvotes	186
Comments	66
Date	January 6, 2019 4:28 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/ad7023/stopping_drinking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/stopping-drinking.429623 https://theredarchive.com/post/429623

Comments

So don't do that.