Zeroed Out at 39

Vaxel00 · 2019-12-19T18:37:36+00:00

Leave the country. Seriously, you don't have a son anymore since she'll turn him against you, you'll be in financial hell for the rest of your life and you'll risk prison if things go bad with your jobs.

You'll never be allowed to see your son and you'll be a wage slave, what do you lose if you leave?

Or do the "honorable" thing and stay, pay until you lose your job, go to jail and kill yourself. I don't know why you would choose to be another statistic though.

NietzscheExplosion · 2019-12-19T18:56:48+00:00

Thailand. Youre welcome.

EthBlack · 2019-12-19T18:33:54+00:00

Get custody of the child so you pay it to yourself?

If you didn't want the child then you've fucked up three times in a row. Once when you got married to this woman, once again when you had a child you didn't want, and then again when you got divorced in a situation with such an unequal balance of financials.

2019-12-19T18:43:44+00:00

Red Pill Alert: 🚨

He was 29 when he met her at 25.

Probably met right after college and she was probably a “good” girl.

Briffault’s Law comes knocking 10 years later...

theJackBurton13 · 2019-12-19T18:47:29+00:00

Fuck it. Get your passport and ghost the country. Go start a new life elsewhere. Let her deal with the mess she created.

BetaBeGone · 2019-12-19T19:57:40+00:00

If you love your kid you will build yourself up as much as possible and give her as little as possible so that when your kid turns 18 they have a good father role model.

I would seriously consider immigrating to another country to avoid child support then you can put money in an account for your child’s adult years. Any money you give now is more likely ex support than child support and only enabling your ex to continue being a parasite role model.

leximos24 · 2019-12-19T19:05:54+00:00

OPTION A: You’ll need full custody. The only way to get it is to get her to give it to you or to get courts to deem her as unfit to parent, that is your best option here. Not going to tell you how to do that but that is what to do if you want to not pay her $1K a month. OPTION B: Stick it out and wait for her to remarry. If she remarries then child support will be recalculated.

If neither options quite work out for you I suggest downsizing. Sell things of high value and set the money aside, where it cannot be used as assets in the divorce. Getting a second job will just mean more money going to her.

Aposematicly · 2019-12-19T19:17:27+00:00

I see a problem working harder- they will just put the child support up. I am in Australia, where they calculate each year based on taxable income, with an allowance for looking after yourself. $50 000 AUD income, the child support is $354 a month. $100 000 taxable income the child support is $1k a month assuming she never lets you see your son as this maximizes payments.

EntangleMentor · 2019-12-19T18:30:48+00:00

Don't kill yourself, just fake your own death.

Fuxk1n · 2019-12-19T18:47:05+00:00

Fucking hell man. That's rough. I wish you all the luck in your future.

MiddleAgedMGTOW · 2019-12-19T19:39:49+00:00

I’m not sure where you are or what the laws are but in my experience a second job could make things worse. My brother was getting raped by child support payments so he took on a second job. Right after he started the second job he got a call from the courts saying that they were upping his payments because he had more income. The higher payments put him right back where he started so he had to quit the other job.

I sincerely hope I’m wrong about this but it looks to me like you are truly and totally screwed. You are 39 and your son is 2. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. You’re on the hook for child support for the next 16 years. Basically the rest of your productive adult life will be as an indentured servant.

the-lone-squid · 2019-12-19T22:06:56+00:00

Vanlife is a way to go.

Honestly you're fucked. Leaving the is good if you can take a decent amount of money with you, but that doesn't sound like an option.

Scale down your life as much as possible. This is just simply the reality for the divorced man.

MattFoley79 · 2019-12-20T05:27:49+00:00

Well, I was in your situation back in my 20's. I worked two jobs for years. Pizza delivery was always good to me.

However, I don't blame any guy who flees the country. Just stay up to date on your CS until you leave so that they don't cancel your passport. Research what countries don't have extradition agreements with the US.

You can get through this!

strictlyidler · 2019-12-19T19:12:09+00:00

Has custody already been settled? Fight for as close to 50/50 as possible. Does she have a degree or work experience that would make finding a job for herself easier? Your kid could very well be in daycare. The two of you can split the cost of daycare as a percentage of your overall combined gross income. Your share % = your gross income / (your gross income+her gross income). Once your kid gets to kindergarten that expense disappears if he goes to public school. Other monthly expenses (like health insurance) can be split using the same percentage. I don’t know if this is something that is possible in your situation or not, or if your ex would even agree to it.

NoCharism · 2019-12-19T19:58:26+00:00

i had an uncle who went to another country

Should be easy for somebody whos native language is english

anonpotamous · 2019-12-19T18:37:54+00:00

Leave your job, start a business and move to another city, Deal in cash and empty your bank accounts

taotedude · 2019-12-20T05:01:42+00:00

I live in an RV by the beach and it's a blissful paradise. Google "vanlife" and let go of society's expectations of you. Take your life into your own hands. Sadly, you will likely have to let go of your child or it will continue to spiral into a messier pawn situation. Best of luck, brother.

hrm0894 · 2019-12-20T11:12:50+00:00

Growing up I always wondered why fathers walk out on their family. I totally get it now.

nuttyrunner · 2019-12-19T18:51:16+00:00

get video evidence of her cheating on you and then maybe you will only have to pay 900 an month

2019-12-19T20:23:22+00:00

Move to Thailand.

bosslife242 · 2019-12-19T20:41:08+00:00

Don't take a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Don't throw away your life man, despite it all, the kid will still need you around. Your life is extremely valuable and important. Things will work itself out in the end. GOD will help you.

plainnsimpleforever · 2019-12-19T21:44:29+00:00

I think your only hope is to convince the judge that her fetish activities are not conducive to raising a child and get sole custody. But you at least have to raise the issue to get it on the record.

Rottinghere · 2019-12-19T21:55:14+00:00

As others here have said, make preparations to leave the country. It won't be easy, and it may take awhile to get everything in order, but it will definitely be worth it. You simply can't depend on the court system to be fair and do the right thing.

I really wish I was insanely rich so that I could set up and fund an underground railroad for men who are in danger of getting divorce-raped.

747Latts · 2019-12-19T22:43:04+00:00

Don’t go out ass backwards man. If it’s really going to be that bad, leave the country. The EU will take you in, they take everyone in. Don’t end yourself over this BS. Not worth it brother, hang tight and keep tough. You’re having a tough time, it will get bad and you’ll find a way to cope. Fight for full custody!

xdrunkagainx · 2019-12-19T22:43:09+00:00

You're going to have to suck it up and start from the beginning and build yourself back up. Fight for 50/50 custody and use everything you can to prove you were an active father. Visits and volunteer at school, take him to doctors appointments, and coaching. 50/50 will limit the amount you have too pay. Go over to the redpill and read the sidebar, in particular you want passing shit tests. Also look for a book called No More Mr. Nice Guy. Those two together should teach you how to not take any of her shit and fight back psychologically. We can't yell at them or hit them, but non-compliance and a defiant attitude will set them into a rage that hurts them far far worse to the point they start making mistakes that will get them in trouble. Finally you will have to internalize that becoming the most successful, focused, and in shape you are capable of will destroy her ego. Nothing is worse to a woman than seeing you succeed after she left.

2019-12-19T23:19:47+00:00

Listen man I too have been fucked over by a woman and had a kid still paying and life is still very hard. BUT you dont give up my friend you keep going do not kill yourself Your kid someday will be an adult and you will be able to see it changes

PeterTMB47 · 2019-12-20T00:04:28+00:00

How is she surviving at this time if she isn't working?

ps25guy · 2019-12-20T00:45:32+00:00

Same thing happened to me with 2 yr. old daughter. Daughter now 14, decided she only wants to live with me 4 months ago, just talked to a lawyer today and am now changing mine to no child support, or I’ll be getting support. You never know what might change along the way. But yes it sucked for 12 years!

SloppyMichaelMoore · 2019-12-20T01:12:52+00:00

Leave the country. Or work on making money under the table on top of your full time job. I went with option 2. It's going to be hard work either way but it's not the end of the world.

ValhallaBoundBoy · 2019-12-20T01:44:41+00:00

What? That's still 2300 a month leftover. It's by no means rich, but I get by on only 1600 and I live in LA.and thats 300 for student loans and 300 for just going out and fucking around. It may mean downsizing, but saying you can't live off of 2300 a month is a bit dramatic.

2019-12-20T02:21:33+00:00

Dont kill yourself. There are many other ways to get out of this. You just have to suffer for a little bit. Start stacking up and plan to leave the country.

Try and see if you can start some business or learn a universal skill, like plumbing or carpentry. Something that you can make money with anywhere. I know it sucks but there are ways out of it.

EndlessPatriotism · 2019-12-20T05:33:06+00:00

Flee the country.

elitebuzzy · 2019-12-20T05:45:36+00:00

From what I know, until your child turns 18 is when the child support payments stop, I believe. That's the only silver lining I can put out there. Welcome to the red pill.

Mr_Crick84 · 2019-12-20T08:06:39+00:00

People are saying to flee the country but not saying how he can get citizenship,Even in Asia citizenship isn't easy to get - Recently new laws have been passed about limiting visas and long term stay in Vietnam other countries in SE Asia.

Someone said 2300 dollars is plenty to live off of but I'm not American so I don't know.

I would tell the mother, If you give me custody you can keep the house you can visit the child whenever you want and I will pay you 1500 dollars a month, and if she says no you will flee the country and she won't get a penny

Tkx421 · 2019-12-20T12:48:34+00:00

Vietnam is really cheap.

TooAwareToCare · 2019-12-20T14:06:08+00:00

So after just starting a family she goes and fucks around?

At 35 no less?

What’s the point in wasting that.

Sounds like your better off away from her but still, totally avoidable.

After 10 years too, lol.

It seems like no matter what stage you are in a relationship it can still just turn to shit.

No kid, time or situation can fix what was already doomed, and you can’t even predict it sometimes.

🤡🤡🤡🤡

robosolartech · 2019-12-20T17:58:13+00:00

Don't settle with her or her lawyer. Don't pay for her lawyer. Stop giving her money immediately. Do not pay her a dime until you are instructed to do before court. Keep copies of everything she emails/IM/texts you. Make it an incredibly difficult case. Keep appealing until you get what you deserve out of the deal. If she kicked you out let her figure out how to pay the utilities. If you give her money or pay these things the judge and lawyer will think you can afford it and therefore they believe you should continue to pay it. Find any thing you can to prove that she is capable of working and has made the decision on her own to stay at home; or if she works, find any evidence that you can to support your argument, that she has chosen to be underemployed according to her education and experience. Make a case for how much it is hurting your child that she is keeping him away from you. You are naturally the bad guy. Men make the money. The court system knows this. They want to get as much out of you as possible so you will have to spend a lot but the more you spend to fight, the better off your future will be. Most importantly, do not give in to her.

Vomikron_Noxis · 2019-12-20T18:04:56+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Zeroed Out at 39
Author	EthBlack
Upvotes	66
Comments	58
Date	December 19, 2019 6:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/ecx7mx/zeroed_out_at_39/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/zeroed-out-at-39.644824 https://theredarchive.com/post/644824

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