How can we do better?

19780521reddit · 2021-04-26T16:21:20+00:00

how did you hurt him more specifically please?

AceOfBlacks · 2021-04-26T16:03:00+00:00

Good thing you found your way to Mgtow2, this is the perfect middleground between Mgtow (The original subreddit), and FDS, in that this sub is the only of the three that promotes self improvement instead of self destruction, welcome :)

ShadeofDeath · 2021-04-26T15:36:45+00:00

Look I'm no expert in relationships or anything but if i had an advise to give its this, be patient and please please learn how to properly communicate with each other.

So many times have i seen great relationships end because either or both people couldn't sit down and talk without being overly emotional about every arguement and its like "Why???? This could have easily been avoided had you acted like grown ups"

Also this video and the whole channel is great so i suggest you check them out

Anyhow, it seems like you've received adequate advice from the other members so i hope that you can take it and just keep it in your mind when approaching situations, and that you can at least understand the "other side" better now.

Jake-Orion · 2021-04-26T15:22:24+00:00

Already a many good responses which I don't need to rehash, but I'll give you basically the 4 things men generally want from a SO:

A hot (to him) housewife that is able to take care of the kids, satisfy his sexual needs and be an emotional pillar of support when he has a bad day.

Communication is also key. Men are unable to read women's minds and cannot emotionally connect the way women do with each other. If something is wrong, TELL HIM! Do not confuse this with nagging, just simply talk to him. Bitching to him about an unsolvable problem is also best left to your female friends, as we men are wired to want to fix the problem.

As you can see from previous posts, every man is different, so these should be considered general guidelines.

SuperSupremeKai · 2021-04-26T13:49:12+00:00

r/RedPillWomen provides a lot of support and advice for those who want to make their SO's lives better.

Inevitable_Ideal_122 · 2021-04-27T00:24:26+00:00

Hey my girlfriend asked me to view this just to get my opinion on it and I agree with practically everything you guys said, with very few disagreements which were far and few between everyone's comments. In fact alot of your comments have voiced my opinions and it's nice to know I am not crazy to think this way. PLEASE EXCUSE MY GF FOR INVADING ON YOUR SPACE she's an information addicted and genuinely likes to have discussions on these types of topics. I'm happy to see that most people on this subreddit are open for a discussion and not butt hurt. To those that are butt hurt I suggest you base every relationship on it's own merits and not on the past and don't be quick to put someone in a box and say their bad, if you do then you'll be doing the very same thing you accuse women of doing to other men or you.

BlackmesaTBX · 2021-04-26T16:32:43+00:00

Thanks for stopping by and being open to feedback. You sound very introspective, curious and self-responsible - the world needs more of.

As for what brought you here, I would actually give you some WGTOW advice and say that part of the MGTOW (even WGTOW) philosophy is personal integrity, authenticity, and ultimately acceptance of the way male and female nature IS (not what we wish it to be). Generally, that sets you on a rare path away from the societal imperatives of everyone else’s idea of who you are and what you’re about.

In your example, it’s not selfish to have your needs met. And it’s ultimately not your SO’s responsibility to make you happy (or vice versa). Many of us realize happiness (and unhappiness) generates from within, not without. Add in that everything and everyone changes, nothing is permanent, and you have the red-pill stage of acceptance. (Eg “she’s not yours, it’s just your turn”) So you can’t be a cheater if you don’t promise what’s not yours to promise - forever love, devotion, fealty, etc.

So don’t beat yourself up over past indiscretions either. You did what you did for a reason. Perhaps it was a mistake to you, but you take responsibility by learning and growing. Other people’s happiness or satisfaction with your actions is literally none of your concern in that authentic way. If you act with personal integrity, there’s nothing to blame, shame or feel guilty about.

Impossible-asset · 2021-04-26T17:00:41+00:00

Post removed. Rule 6.

OP you are looking for /asktrp or /purplepilldebate or /redpillwomen

Thank you.

KaiserEspinoza · 2021-04-26T17:54:18+00:00

Thank you mods.

She has enough places to go for pats on the back.

FairyChild14 · 2021-04-27T08:14:53+00:00

Hi everyone, I just wanted to say thank you for your replies and responses. I haven’t been able to reply to every comment but I’ve read them all and saved as many as I can. Thank you very much for being so gracious to me and helping me understand better. I’m going to delete this in a little while as I didn’t realise that this was the right place to post this and I apologise for not being more aware of that. I hope that you all have plenty of success in the rest of your lives.

yamahantx700 · 2021-04-27T03:10:09+00:00

#1, be honest. For some odd reason, women are insecure. Fine. But your fear of being honest and being called out is a problem.

#2, marriage. Give me 1 reason, just 1, why a man would want to get married. The problem is that the incentives for marriage have been stripped for men, and enhanced for women. This isn't an advantage. It only serves to abuse children by having them grow up without a father. Stop thinking of it in terms of women vs men, because that's just feminism 101. Bring children into the picture, and be willing to make sacrifices.

If you respect him, have a conversation about the importance of being there for your children. Women have been fed this notion that kids only need a mother. This is false. Infants need mothers. Kids need fathers.

DreamRevolution · 2021-04-26T21:17:58+00:00

Just be your self Hun❤️ you’re already perfect.

Alsavir · 2021-04-26T22:12:21+00:00

I'd say that first of all people (both genders here) should learn to listen. Not about the clown world nonsense that is floating around now but to really listen to their partner and understand where he is coming from. Secondly, communication. Talk to each other and learn from each other. In short so that I won't write a wall of text, be a decent human being. Don't do unto others what you won't do yourself. This I consider the most basic and most important thing. The rest can be managed if this is achieved.

forsandifs_r · 2021-04-26T22:15:38+00:00

This doesn't belong here.

[deleted] · 2021-04-26T20:58:04+00:00

[removed]

Chinny_YT · 2021-04-26T11:25:53+00:00

This particular subreddit is more so about the self improvement of men, rather than what you've said. If you agree with our views, then don't do the particular behavior that hurts men which you can clearly see with your own observations. Also the assumption that every man has been hurt by women and go their own way for that reason is wrong.

Lalgoli · 2021-04-26T11:40:56+00:00

Not everyone is hurt by women. Not everyone is hurt by laws. Not everyone is hurt by entitlement.

I basically think it's not women it's mostly me. I can't bear people in general, and solitude is my thing. All other things are correct and women are becoming wierder and entitled and government are treated men poorly. But my reasons are little different. If you have a relationship you have to sacrifice (both sides) and I am just not ready to do it even if sacrifices were equal( however in real world sacrifices are one sided mostly).

My ideal women will not live with me and meet me 2 times a month. We will not have kids, and I will not pay her a single penny. See how unrealistic my expectations are 😂😂😂.

Phantom_Spark · 2021-04-26T11:41:29+00:00

Women have to stop looking at everything men do as hate or toxic or weak. Women should instead be praising the men they choose to deal with.
Fight against the laws that are damaging society.
Hold other women accountable. You need to be ruthless when it comes to other women’s behavior. When a woman behaves in such a way to damage the family or men specifically... it needs to be challenged immediately.
Offer men something. The list of things women want in a man is very public and well known. Many men strive to be those things. However it’s completely unknown to women, what a man wants. You need to return to having values such that your daughters, nieces, and all young females in general need mentorship. Women need to teach young girls how to be compatible partners and wives. Because most don’t honestly have a clue. It’s not something that comes naturally. Like anything it’s a skill that needs to be cultivated.
Stop having babies with men you deem unfit to marry. Additionally, stop glorifying single motherhood or remaining silent when excuses are made. In the west, women have all the options and rights to the extent that every single child is a woman’s choices. There are no longer any accidents. Even a woman who was assaulted can legally walk away from motherhood. So what’s my point? Single motherhood has exploded. It’s everywhere. Women need to shit this down. As a man we look at you a LESS THAN, if you make the choice to sleep with a man, get pregnant, carry it to term, deliver the baby and keep the baby, yet you’re single and describe the father as a problem. When you choose to allow horrible people into your circle it speaks volumes about yourself!
Threaten and boycott companies and politicians who disrespect men and fatherhood. Women are quick to defend other women. Yet when men are openly abused or disrespected, it’s a joke and not your problem.
Stop promoting Father’s Day as Mother’s Day part 2. This day should be reserved for celebrating the men in your life. Women seem to think it’s ok to be a single mother and then want recognition on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. This is absolutely disrespectful.
If you want men to be chivalrous and display behaviors that specifically target and benefit women... then as a woman you need to start displaying behaviors that specifically target and benefit men. This can’t be limited to men you’re sleeping with or are your family and close ones. You need to do it for all men the same way women discuss that they want all men to do certain things for all women. A chain of positive reciprocal behavior sustains itself.
Allow men to have male spaces. It’s troublesome that any and all spaces that would have focused on boys and men are illegal or have to allow girls/women to the extent that it then is forced to cater to women instead of men. Example? Boy Scouts. An organization designed to help teach and promote positive, healthy, and strong boys to become the leaders of the next generation has been reduced to ashes. Women needed to have both Girl Scouts in addition to control over the Boy Scouts. Now it’s a joke where there are 2 Girl Scouts and boys have no leadership.

King_Yautja · 2021-04-26T11:58:43+00:00

I can only speak for myself here but my issue is not with women. I've met women I did not like as people, I've met women that I did. Same for men. There is no amount of improvement you or any woman can engage in on an individual level because (although there are some major issues with the behaviour of modern women) that's not my issue. What keeps me away is the fact that a social, political and legal system has been created to advantage women at men's expense, to the point that dealing with women has become dangerous.

You have divorce, pregnancy traps, false allegations, all of which can ruin men's lives in an instant, and he has no legal recourse. The whole point of civilised society and rule of law is that the law is a neutral referee. But that is no longer the case what has happened is that the law has firmly taken the side of women, so men have no legal protection from women's bad behaviour. Quite the contrary, the law will hold us down and gag us while she beats us.

It has created a situation where no matter how genuine you seem, or how much you try to improve, we can never really trust you. You could be the most wonderful wife in the world, all it takes is for you to have one bad day. The game is so rigged we're taking the only rational course of action left open to us; don't play.

mistralol · 2021-04-26T12:17:39+00:00

| So, with all that said, what are some ways that women can genuinely improve and make things better for you

Drop the double standards. Women will hold men to a standard that they don't want to hold themselves to. They often do this to each other as well. They want equality in the work place. They claim a pay gap after they average out all jobs/pay etc...

Yet they are not queueing up to do the jobs like builders, trade, engineers, etc.. etc.. eg death on jobs rates for nurses are 0.5:100,000 roofers are 45:100,000 to put it in perspective, Fisherman 99.8:100,000 Logging 84.3:100,000 More: https://www.forbes.com/sites/chuckdevore/2018/12/19/fatal-employment-men-10-times-more-likely-than-women-to-be-killed-at-work/?sh=2ef0223f52e8

So this is a great example of a double standard. Women want equal pay. Thats fine. Do the dangerous jobs so that the other areas are equal also. As the link above states men are 10x more likly to die on the job than women. In some jobs its 100x increase. Women often want the reward but not the risk that comes with it.

Men overall now are shouted down in almost anything they say. Example: We say hey look at the problem with the male suicide rate. Women often de-rail the conversation to their side eg but women will attempt it more often. Technically that is true but men overwhleming succeed at it. Lots more examples of this sort of stuff from this women https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WMuzhQXJoY

Men make enviroments for men. Women almost always invade every single aspect of our lives. We build a lot of "good stuff" women then come in and basically attempt to take control of it. Its taken rather than earned. Sometimes we need "our spaces" any attempt to have these space now is immediatly met with thats sexist and illegal. Same thing they want the reward but don't put the effort into that area.

On the legal side of things. I think women need to start calling out how some of the new laws is actually going to effect them in life. For example in some western countries now if you approach a women and its "unwanted" suddenly it starting to become sexual harassment. For example where I am about 2 weeks ago some guy basically tried to kiss a women because he read the situation incorrectly was given a suspended sentance for a year and ordered to sign the sex offenders registry.

Things like this dilute the checks. eg this guy is now on the same list as the serial pedophile rapist because he made a unwanted pass at somebody. This starts to make the list diluted eg means nothing in reality when large amounts of the male population end up on it.

Hence why you get this attitude as a response from men... I will never approach a women. I will never work along with a women, I will never eat dinner with a women from work etc.. etc.. For men allagations are now enough to be career ending. Hence its hurting men and women in different ways.

Things in courts need to run due process. Rather than public witch hunt style of justice.

Same deal in releationships mostly marriage, child releated. Women hold all the cards/rights. They often have a monetary incentive to do these things eg child support, benifits. I think women actually need to go look at the law objectivly and really come forward and say "Hey this really isn't a fair deal for men" as men are walking away from the deal completly (Hence MGTOW). Like current marriage, child support laws are basically a short term win for women but ultimatly a long term loss as more and more men step out of the game completly.

Just ask any man what negotiations were with an ex during a breakup that didn't go so well with kids involved. The women is almost always the first person to use the kids as weapons with emotional blackmail to get what she wants rather than what is actually good for the kids.

In the UK here they just proposed / passed a new law for regulations of which is consider abuse in a releationship. Part of that basically included "withholding money" and there are conditions where that could be considered abuse. But it now also considers that is a women in a marriage asks the man for money and refuses (even with sensible reasons) by default its abuse. Hows a man meant to negoaite against that?

Serend1p1ty · 2021-04-26T12:39:50+00:00

I'm glad you're self observant enough to ask these questions, and now that you've asked them, i have to rummage through my mind to come up with answers to them.

It's a fortunate thing for a man to be able to provide to someone who is grateful for it. He could provide at a baseline level of sustenance, giving you just about enough to make ends meet. Or he could be more ambitious and attempt to carve out a life where you have more in abundance. You play a role in this decision. If he feels secure with you, he may take that risk.

Stick with him, even when things get tough

If he is the ambitious type, then he will be taking risks. Risks sometimes work, sometimes they don't. When they work and they work well, everyone in your family will benefit. Children will get toys, you will get what you want etc etc. For the vast majority of men, their family serves as the driving force behind their ambitions.

It's more about the resilience that's needed when things don't go according to plan. Life might get tough, it may even get harder than if he never took the risk. You need to be there and support him when that happens. Try to see through the stressful moments, he may be vulnerable and he may not have articulated that his world is collapsing around him.

Men of ambition have bigger problems than you know.

Some situations where you may flip out because he left something out of place pale in comparison to the stress he may be dealing with at work. By bringing it up, you can drive him over the edge and soon you'll be making misinformed posts on /r/AITA because you two fell into an argument (over what you believe is a simple matter). There could be a whole accumulation of stress he has insulated you from that you aren't aware of.

You are a team, discuss the roles you'll play

People think SAHM's play a sidekick role to the man because it has been portrayed that way. A proactive SAHM organises the family life. There's plenty of things to do other than sit around, hit the gym and look pretty all day.

She would be the ambassador of the family at events the Father was unable to turn up to
She would orchestrate some of the financial ambitions around homekeeping
Ideally, could triage income, organise pensions, investment plans, retirement funds etc
Exercise her networking potential in communities with a larger female presence - I'm sure there's plenty of opportunity within the network of school parents her children go to

She may choose to work. What does she do with that money? Buy shoes and handbags? Or invest in her family?

Teach your children to respect their father

Girls with healthy relationships with their fathers make healthier romantic choices. Boys with healthy relationships with their fathers are handed the manual that serves as a foundation for them to build on. It'll have lessons in there, some of which are outdated, some are more timeless that can be passed on when they themselves have children.

What I've outlined here is an idealistic scenario. The fact MGTOW exists is because men have realised this strategy I've outlined requires a great deal of trust which in the face of betrayal isn't being given anymore.

thefudmaster · 2021-04-26T13:24:18+00:00

I really like the fact that you posted here. While this sub Reddit as for the improvement of men, it is imperative that women ask how they can do better. By the way, men can do better as well. I would highly recommend that if you ever get married did you sign a prenuptial agreement before hand. Have it filmed and have a court reporter present. Men are waking up, and are realizing that traditional marriage is no longer worth it.

Lost_Musashi · 2021-04-26T13:37:51+00:00

Brave of you to post here. We have all made mistakes and learned from them, don't dwell on the past. Why do you think you harm society? Unless you partake in some kind of fraudulent activity, you are a valuable member of society and everything is ok.

You can improve society and men's lives by being a good role model to other women. Treat all people with kindness and turn your back on misandry. If you are a teacher for example, don't look away when a girl bullies a boy.

The_other_account22 · 2021-04-26T14:14:56+00:00

For one, stop worrying about how women in general can make things better for men. It's up to us to make things better for ourselves. If I wanted other people to make things better for me, I'd be all over the MRA subs. I've taken my life into my own hands, and whatever happiness I achieve will be achieved through my own strength, grit, and guile.

I'm just going to tell you the same thing I tell other men. Focus on yourself. Disregard all the expectations heaped upon you by a culture that's lost its way and decide what kind of person you want to be. Make yourself into the kind of person you would be proud of. We all make mistakes just by virtue of being human, so learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and use them to grow and learn.

Fun_Flounder5968 · 2021-04-26T16:10:20+00:00

The big one for me is that women need to confront female toxicity and acknowledge female privilege.

Female privilege is a big one that most younger women are completely blind to. What are some examples? Women don't have to worry about a physical fight like a man does. A great example of this is road rage. Women will road rage more often with the assumption that they won't be shot or hit. This is also female toxicity.

There are also women, and this is more toxicity, who see men as slaves. They think they can order men around to do the heavy lifting without doing a thing themselves. The privilege is that women aren't expected to do the heavy lifting or get dirty. The toxicity is in taking advantage of this societal illness.

You need to acknowledge that sort of thing if you want to have a functional relationship with a man.

Burlerevyy · 2021-04-26T16:19:28+00:00

Nothing, the ones in power want women to fuck men off.

Title	How can we do better?
Author	FairyChild14
Upvotes	1
Comments	52
Date	April 26, 2021 11:15 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/myvarm/how_can_we_do_better/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/how-can-we-do-better.800412 https://theredarchive.com/post/800412

Comments