A woman's attraction in an LTR is based on.....

whinemoreplease · 2015-02-26T09:00:48+00:00

Bingo. This is a great post.

How many posts have we had recently that said something along the lines of "I'm well educated and make mid six figure salary."?

Congratu-fucking-lations. Also, doesn't-fucking-matter when it comes to women and their attraction for you. Good job buddy, you've just demonstrated you're a blue pill mentality leaning beta provider.

If a woman came in and said "I'm well educated and make mid six figure salary." No one would give a fuck, because that literally does not matter.

You've got these new guys coming in after anywhere from 1 day to 3 weeks going, "Why isn't this working?" and it's like man... your wife has lost respect for you over the last 10 years, and if you had any brains, you would've lost respect for yourself too. These guys think that they can squish out all that blue pill beta behavior and mentalities over the course of a week. Are you fucking kidding me? You've barely opened your eyes, you can't even crawl yet.

Your women don't respect you because for the past 10 years, they haven't needed to respect you at all. You haven't respected yourself. That's why they shit test you. That's why they nag. That's why she thinks it's okay to be pissy. That's why you're being second guessed, not getting laid enough, etc. etc. etc. Because YOU have allowed and conditioned her to think that shitty behavior and shitty attitudes are an acceptable part of your relationship.

So, BOOM, out of the blue, you're now trying to establish boundaries and foundations without any frame or context. 10 years of conditioning and all of a sudden you're gonna be a fucking oak who has concrete boundaries? I'd laugh at your pathetic attempts too. You have this well established status quo and now you're trying to shift it. Weak-willed men will fail -- they will fail fucking hard (you can see this theme over and over again in these posts on MRP). Changing the status quo is the hardest fucking thing you can do. Welcome to hard mode.

The second part, and probably more important part, is if she's not respecting you, why should she give a fuck what you want? No other women want you as far as she's concerned, and you literally can't do better because 1) you're bought into the blue pill, I'm committed to my marriage no matter how much I hate it and how little appreciation I get or 2) you're pathetic. I'm actually not quite sure which one is worse. Your wife has absolutely no reason to give a two shits about your pathetic attempts to reclaim your manhood. Yes, your attempts are pathetic until you get good at it.

This is why TRP is for yourself -- not for your wife, not for your mother, family, job, etc. It is for you. To develop a spine. To demonstrate to yourself that other women want you (because if they don't, you're stuck with your harpy wife anyway in your exact same condition). To recognize that you've made your choice and you want to continue putting the effort into giving value to your marriage. But no self respecting man is going to stay in a situation where his efforts are unappreciated.

Once you recognize this, and internalize this, and your situation doesn't change (i.e. your wife still doesn't respect you and still doesn't add value to your life), you have exactly one choice - leave her ass. Because at first if you don't respect yourself, she won't either, naturally. But once you do, and she still doesn't, what the fuck are you doing?

Couple of sidenotes.

Kill your male hamster. Men have it too. It exists to protect the ego like theultmatecad said. You will need to embrace the realities of the situation. If you are a beta bux/bitch, recognize that and address the issue. How many self proclaimed alphas come here and post about their situations? Defining yourself according to alpha/beta divide is silly as shit.
Abundance mentality. Embrace it. How many times have we had guys come in and post about "not being able to leave/divorce/etc. because of x/y/z reason"? It's complete bullshit. You're a man. You have a choice. Those choices have consequences and may you don't like them, but to claim you don't have a choice is weak. We had the guy who posted just yesterday about how his wife stopped taking the pill -- he had zero response to what is the epitome of shitty, selfish behavior "can't divorce because 2 other kids, blah blah". Great, that guy has just demonstrated there are 0 consequences to appalling behavior.
That leads to this. Give your wife a reason to step up her girl game. If you know you're going to be stuck with her forever, she knows you're going to be stuck with her forever. So what reason does she actually have to put in any effort to improve and keep you around if you're not going anywhere in the first place?

tl;dr -- in order to expect value, you have to be a man deserving of it.

Countpudyoola · 2015-02-26T15:24:57+00:00

Sex and respect.

2 things from your wife you can't increase the value of through negotiation or barter.

You can only increase them through action and behavior. Good post.

strategos_autokrator · 2015-02-26T10:16:02+00:00

And the only way for her to respect you is for you to respect yourself so much you don't care about her opinion of you, but instead, only about getting what you know you want. It is very strange, but it works.

Demanding respect is weak and pathetic. Respecting yourself so much you get what you want independent of what others think IS how others respect you. You don't need their respect, you just need what you want, and they will feel your strength and desire to be part of that, and will follow you.

A big mistake many of us have done at the beginning of the transition is to have resentment from their lack of respect, and then act like angry teenagers demanding respect, or going "nuclear", thinking this is what alphas do. NO. What alphas do is they don't waste time with people with disrespectful behavior and take action to remove those behaviors from their lives independent of what the others decide to do. Asking for respect to your wife gives her the power to hurt you when she doesn't respect you, and it makes you weak to her eyes. Act because you respect yourself, this is what gains respect. If she doesn't respect you, it is because you don't respect yourself enough yet.

mobius_stripped · 2015-02-26T03:37:13+00:00

Man the waiting is the hardest part. I am off to the races so fucking hard with this. It feels like years since I swallowed the pill and it has been like 5 weeks maybe? I really feel for poor girlfriend. Engaged for 2.5 years and no date, I just called off the engagement. Her head is spinning from the changes but she's trying so hard. She's coming from a feminist background and is so used to taking control and bucking any male advice and the men in her life so far have proven that point. I just gotta slow it down and solidify these changes and she'll follow suit even more.

RBuddDwyer · 2015-02-26T11:55:44+00:00

We talk about dread. It's primary utility is to fool your woman's SMV radar.

I disagree that it fools her radar. It is more indirect proof of SMV, not really fooling it.

If other women want you...You must be a man to respect.

That is it right there.

nopbeentheredonethat · 2015-02-26T12:42:00+00:00

From women in love from the RedPill side bar

we ought to realized that a woman’s love is contingent upon our capacity to maintain that love in spite of a woman’s hypergamy. By order of degrees, hypergamy will define who a woman loves and who she will not, depending upon her own opportunities and capacity to attract it.

To sum this up, two thing. She has to see you as the best she can do for herself, and she as to like it in order for herself to be happy.

Title	A woman's attraction in an LTR is based on.....
Author	theultmatecad
Upvotes	23
Comments	16
Date	February 26, 2015 2:13 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2x6pxv/a_womans_attraction_in_an_ltr_is_based_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/a-womans-attraction-in-an-ltr-is-based-on.202455 https://theredarchive.com/post/202455

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