This past Sunday morning I was going for a kiss and I was met with a peck, then another peck, and finally I paused for something more, made the move, she forced the peck. I walked away. We had an Easter brunch where I was as sociable as I typically am. Afterwards I had to return a table to a friends house and then I went to Lowe's to price some lumber for a project. I didn't tell her about it and just went. I got back after she sent a text along the lines of, I don't know what's up with you... etc which I ignored. I got home, changed, and we went to her parents house (5 minute trip.)

I acted normal there. I was as sociable as normal, we all had dinner, we went home. She attempted to tell me I was being "aloof and suspicious" and I A&A'd it into, "so I'm a private investigator who doesn't care?" She laughed a bit. Later on at home, I maintained the dread, which to this point simply involved no interacting with her outside of necessity; I responded and conversed with her if she started something, but I never went out of my way to talk with her or touch her or anything. I tried for another kiss. peck-peck, I paused, she pecked. Fine. Don't want to kiss me like a married adult? Dread on.

Monday: A skunk sprayed near our house. smelled like bad weed in the house. She asked, "what did you eat for breakfast?" "eggs, waffles, why?" "smells like weed." "Do you think I ate weed for breakfast?" My face was scrunched in slight disgust, but it was actually because the skunk smell got stronger. "Sorry..." "For what?" "asking about breakfast." "huh?" "Your face." "what?" "look at it, it looks disgusted." "The skunk smell is getting worse" (truth.) I didn't care about her breakfast questions. I left for work.

She texted, my responses were short and with periods: "why are being so blunt?" I A&A'd with: "because of all the weed I ate this morning!" "Funny. your responses are short and ending with a period." "oh. well, punctuation is important!" nothing after that.

At home: tried to kiss, peck peck, I pulled away and left the room. conversations kept to a minimum. I returned 30 mins later and was at the dining room table working on my workout program for the next 4 weeks. I could see her in the kitchen. If she started a conversation, I engaged... if not, I didn't. Dinner: same as earlier. I mentioned that I'm going to the gym after dinner and that I won't be at dinner on Wednesday because I'm going to Spartan training through a meetup at a gym in another town. (I had mentioned this before.) She gave me a look like what... then remembered and said, "oh yeah, I remember." Before I went to the gym, I tried to kiss her again... peck peck and I pulled back and left. Back at 9:30. Brushed kids teeth, get them in bed, they were being cock-blocks, kept going back in our room. I went downstairs to watch Better Call Saul. I texted her: "Tell me when they are asleep." She says "OK". Half-way through the show it was quiet. I go upstairs, she's asleep and so are they. I move them to their bed, get into bed.

This morning, she leaves for work, she pecks and leaves. Lunch time she texts, "hello." I reply, "hi." No response. 2 hours later I text "hello" (like she did) and she replies "hi." Then she asks how I am. Quick conversation about something something work related. Convo ended.

I texted "hello" as a way to dial back the dread a tiny bit... like finding the right simmer level for a boil. I gotta pepper those in here and there.

This is all from shitty kisses. She knows how I want to be kissed by my wife, but she continues with the pecks. Fine. I keep trying to kiss her, if I'm met with pecks, the dread continues. Even if I have sex tonight (it'll be 3 nights past tonight) I'll still keep the dread on until I get the kiss I expect.

I've made my expectations clear to her in the past, "I want to be kissed by my wife in a way that is different than how I kiss my daughters. You kiss me like you kiss them; I'm your husband."

Seriously -how do our tongues not touch once in 2 days when we kiss? She even does that pecking shit during sex. If sex happens (as an expected response to thew dread) and that pecking-during-sex happens, I want to stop and stare at her for a moment then get up and get dressed. If asked, "I'm not feeling into it anymore, maybe some other time." Then I will leave the room for the night until she is asleep. This will pair nicely with me not being home all night at the other gym, where an expected outing becomes an indirect dread increase.

I know that dread is suppose to instill a conditioned response (basically) and I want to make sure that she makes the connection between kiss (peck) and me backing away.

So: am I doing this right?