Married shit test examples?

jacktenofhearts · 2015-03-29T00:38:00+00:00

Some examples...

Compliance Shit Test: You're both watching TV, you get up to go to the bathroom. She says, "Hey. Bring me a glass of water." You grunt "OK" in response and open the bathroom door. She says, "no, get me the water first, you always take forever in there." You roll your eyes and grab a glass of water and bring it to her. She eagerly grabs it, then says, "No ice?"

Disregard For Your Request Shit Test: You're going to see a concert and the opening act is one of your favorite bands from your childhood. You really want to leave the house by 7:00pm so you get there on time to them. She spends all day "running errands" (mostly just clothes shopping with a friend) and walks in the door at 6:15pm. She says, "it won't take me long to get ready," and you nervously fidget and jiggling the car keys while she showers and spends forty minutes blow-drying her hair, applying makeup, and picking an outfit. You finally leave, and you're already aggravated and driving 90 MPH just to try and get there. She tells you to slow down, you snap at her because you told her it was important to be on time, and she defensively replies, Well I was late because I was buying YOU your stupid closet hangers, oh and sorry I care about looking good, next time we go out I'll just wear a ripped t-shirt like you.

Terrible Generalization Shit Test: Her friend is performing at an open mic night at a venue across town, at 6:00pm. Your wife wants to go. You don't really want to, because you'll have to leave work early, it'll still take an hour to get there because of rush hour traffic, and you've seen her friend perform before and she's pretty terrible. You say, "Eh, I think I'm gonna pass." Your wife flips out and says, "you never want to do anything fun anymore." Then before you can defend herself, she spews forth a laundry list of other recent events you didn't attend. You defend yourself with your laundry list of other recent events you did attend, despite not being particularly keen, and she just sighs, rolls her eyes, and walks away saying, "you just don't get it."

Emotional Abandonment Shit Test: You get a snack from the pantry and put it back on a different shelf. You notice your wife being especially curt that evening. You ask her what's wrong, she says nothing. You ask her again, she says nothing. You ask her a third time, she angrily blurts out, "you know I spent all day organizing our pantry, and you just took a snack and you couldn't even put it back on the right shelf." You try and apologize and put the snack back on the "right" shelf , but this doesn't seem to placate her. You continue to apologize and thank her for diligently organizing the snack pantry (although you'd just as happily have unorganized snacks if it meant she wouldn't be this butthurt about things like this). This only serves to make her more upset and she starts crying. You try and hug her, and she just shudders and stands there like a statue. "It's like you don't even think about me when you do anything," she whimpers.

Public Emasculation Shit Test: You're at a barbecue hosted by some friends. All it takes is someone mentioning something about taking a wrong turn while driving, and she's off. "[You] is terrible at directions. This one time on vacation we got so lost it took us two hours just to find our way back to the hotel. Luckily I was navigating or he'd probably still be out there!" The group gets a laugh, and you get a chuckle, but you wonder why she needs to mention that story. Every. Single. Time. You try and point out it was actually her navigating that resulted in you both getting so lost, but she tells you to stop being a "big baby." More laughter from the peanut gallery, and you lamely laugh to pretend to be a good sport, while nobody notices you crushing the beer can in your hand.

The Cockteasing Shit Test: Your wife sends you sexy texts all day, implying she's just as horny as you are after not having sex for over a week. You get home from work, kiss her and hold her in a deep embrace, and start taking steps to get more intimate. She says, "wait, I'm hungry, let's have dinner first." So your romantic moment is interrupted as you slice onions and dice tomatoes, and then set down to eat. You suggest picking up where you left off with your intimate moment, then she says, "ugh, I'm so full, let's watch some TV first." You just barely hide rolling your eyes, and settle in on the couch with her. Around the time Meredith Grey realizes she has problems with her marriage, your wife asks you for a foot massage. You comply, then watch Olivia Pope turn the President of the US into a sniveling beta for the 100th time. This is when you proceed to start reaching underneath her shirt and fondling her bra clasp. Your wife says, "wait, c'mon, let's just finish How to Get Away With Murder." You sigh, and get up to do something else. Your wife sneers, "oh, I see, if we don't have sex, you don't even want to touch me."

Any others I'm forgetting? Haha.

OpiumPhrogg · 2015-03-28T16:24:11+00:00

A shit test would be something like her asking you to do simple and mundane things that she is perfectly capable of doing. Something like she is in the kitchen cooking dinner and you are 20 feet away in the living room and she asks you to get her a certain knife from the knifebox that is a meer 5 feet away from her. Or you tell her in advance that you have plans to do X on a certain day, and when the time comes she tries to pull all sorts of shit to keep you from going.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-03-28T16:54:00+00:00

blunt rude-ass shit I could never imagine a wife saying.

Newlywed?

Any rude or disrespectful behavior is a Shit Test. The rule of thumb is the 3rd date rule- If what she just did happened on the 2nd date, would there be 3rd. If "No" it is a shit test.

share some shit-tests pulled from real-life examples?

Denial of sex shit test: Not tonight, I am not in the mood.

Compliance Shit test: Go get me X (even though it is as easy or easier for her to do it).

Attitude Shit Test: (snarky, rude, condescending, biting whatever- "You never do this; you always do that."

Perseverating screechtard shit test: "You were supposed to do A. Why didn't you do A. I wanted you to do A. You did B instead of A...blah...blah...blah...whine...whine...bitch...moan."

Criticism Shit Test: "You are not doing it right..I do it this way and that is the only way to do it right..."

In short, ANYTHING a woman says or may be and often is a shit test.

zigg-_-zagg · 2015-03-28T15:14:02+00:00

Did you try to do a search in this sub reddit?

marxistbacon · 2015-03-28T16:43:05+00:00

If her lips are moving but your pants are still on, you know it's a shit test.

theultmatecad · 2015-03-28T23:40:04+00:00

If you feel she is asking you to do something you don't want to do....shit test

If she is expecting you to feel a certain way....shit TEST.

"Why do you have to watch the game Sat. Don't you want to be with your family?

Can you stop off store and pick up item a..I didn't have time (because I did what I wanted instead)

cholomite · 2015-03-28T20:54:40+00:00

My LTR always asks "who are you texting?" Whenever I'm looking at my phone. she asks this with a tone that implies it better not be other girls.I usually reply with some stupid shit like chinese hookers, astronaut Betty or your mom. is this a shit test and if so am I handling it well? she rarely asks again after I say some thing like that but it's getting old and I'm starting to run out of ideas.

Title	Married shit test examples?
Author	EightyTimes
Upvotes	8
Comments	28
Date	March 28, 2015 2:07 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/30llge/married_shit_test_examples/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/married-shit-test-examples.202265 https://theredarchive.com/post/202265

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