Shit Test After A BJ?

jacktenofhearts · 2015-01-27T01:06:22+00:00

I think there's more good than bad in this. Sounds like you didn't engage in her Shit Test and she dropped it pretty much right afterwards.

In my experience, nagging comments about tablet/smartphone usage is basically about wanting more attention from her husband. It's kind of like, "we have two little kids, we barely have a free hour every weekend, so when we do is it really that hard for you to interact with me?" The BJ may have been her way of saying, "even if you want to just duck into the bedroom and get a quickie, I'm down."

Of course, she wants you to initiate. She was a little resentful that she had to make the very overt gesture of sucking your dick to get your attention. Hence the Shit Test.

So my suggestion is, in those free pockets of 20 minutes you find, go fuck your wife. Or put the kids to bed and suggest you take a shower together. You may find some token resistance at first. "Oh, now you're ready to look up from your stupid iPhone?" Shoot it down with, "do you want to talk about my Internet habits or go to the bedroom?"

As some general advice, when you have two kids and they're like 5 and 1.5 years old, family life is pretty awful. You run around all weekend doing shit for the 5 year old and he still melts down because you forgot a juice box. Then the younger kid shits his pants and decides to try and eat some lint on the rug. Free time is hard to come by, so if you do find yourself with a spare moment, if you're not fucking your wife then find a hobby that doesn't involve you staring at a glass screen. When she sees your spending your free time producing things and/or bettering yourself, instead of just passively consuming content, I doubt you'll get many shit tests about that.

TRWolf · 2015-01-27T01:14:50+00:00

You got an unsolicited 15 minute BJ and a very weak "wah, you spend too much time on the phone." Just let it go.

Damn, what I'd give for a spontaneous ANYTHING.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-01-27T01:35:06+00:00

They will test you- comfort test, shit test, whatever- when you are at your most vulnerable. I have experienced this, almost like she planned it from the beginning. Hint: She didn't.

TLDR: Maintain Frame.

Countpudyoola · 2015-01-27T18:18:52+00:00

Could be simply that she felt like she had your undivided attention to do a brain offload of some ills. Again not so much as what she's saying as what's the message. She just wants more of your time. You did good at not getting defensive.

Some common themes for when one will notice captive audience expositions:

After sex , bj...whatever gets you off and in a relaxed state
right before bed
when you're are obviously tired
if you plop down with a beer on the couch next to her.

The expositions seem opportunistic in their creations so I wouldn't fear planning.

Also not really a straight up covert-contract, but if she was having an issue she might have thought you would be more amenable after having been serviced.

2nd issue, you did make a planning gaff. Could warrant a small yet sincere oops/apology, but do so once. She can be mad if she wants and you just continue nonplussed till she gets over it. So I don't see anything glaringly off kilter there.

crayonsred · 2015-01-27T03:49:40+00:00

Um, she lapped up your fucking seed.

That's the reality. That's the power dynamic. Not a shit test, unless you let it be. Probably good to take it easy on the FB and games though.

[deleted] · 2015-01-27T00:40:25+00:00

I'm recently unplugged so I tend to miss the mark, but it sounds more like a comfort test than a shit test.

whinemoreplease · 2015-01-27T01:07:12+00:00

I agree with /u/bloodrxn -- I'm not seeing anything that resembles a shit test. It sounds to me like you're a bit defensive about your cell phone usage though, especially with "She spends equal amount of time on her phone in our family downtime as well" -- so what? I hope you're not whinging about how it's unfair that she gets to spent that time while you don't.

It also sounds to me like you have some insecurities about being a stay-at-home-dad. I don't think there's any reason you should be.

She went on to ask if I essentially ignore the kids all day while I watch then.

I think this would be a valid concern if she feels like you spend a lot of time on reddit/phone/tv/etc. If you disagree with with her on that, you need to lead her to that same conclusion.

Personally, if I'm with anyone, electronics stay in the pocket at least 90-95% of the time. I expect others to do the same and have called people out on it if they're facebooking/messaging or whatever a significant chunk of the time.

tbornott · 2015-01-27T07:09:58+00:00

Maybe she is just trying to say you need to get out more. Using your phone has nothing to do with it. It just is the most boring thing that she sees you do. So maybe she figures if you would stop that, then you would be more exciting. Of course you cutting back on fb/phone it will not help. Only getting out and doing "exciting" stuff will.

I would take this a friendly suggestion.

Title	Shit Test After A BJ?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	January 26, 2015 11:58 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2ts3w0/shit_test_after_a_bj/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/shit-test-after-a-bj.202628 https://theredarchive.com/post/202628

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