I figured it was about time that I started contributing to MRP. Good stuff so far (hat tip to the mods and regular posters).

 

Two Simple Rules

 

  1. Shut Up.
  2. Shut the Fuck Up. (repeat)

 

Two Common Scenarios

 

Scenario 1

Men with a solid frame, rarely, if ever, need to yell to a lady (wife, LTR) to convey a message. Why? Yelling, is a sign of weakness (in most cases), and instantaneously puts you in her frame. It is important to remember that much can be accomplished - in your relationship and in life - when you know when, and learn how, to keep your mouth shut. When you want to raise your voice and when you feel the blood start coursing through your veins, then remember Shut Up and then Shut the Fuck UP^TM .

 

Simply put, do not yell at your lady even when she is trying to start an argument. If you do, you just lost frame... and her respect. When raising your voice is warranted, however, the gravity of your message will not already be diluted through over use.

 

Scenario 2

Scenario 1 is a fraction of the situations where you need to Shut Up and then Shut the Fuck Up^TM . The second, and more common usage, comes in handy more frequently, in everyday occurrences. Many times my lady will go into a discussion about some shit article on HuffPo or from whatever websites she reads. When she does this, I need to remember the rule and say "oh that's cool" (AKA shutting up about what I really think about said article). IDGAF about that nonsense and engaging her own illogical whateverthefuck views about some dumb article is not conducive to me maintaining my own frame and piece of mind.

 

In addition, anytime I feel a rant coming on about my views on politics/money/etc... which often times are countervailing to her views, I remind myself to Shut Up and then Shut the Fuck Up^TM . I can talk about that shit with my friends (or my dad). It is much easier to keep her talking about whateverthefuck and listen and/or change the subject to something else than to go down that rabbit hole.

 

Conclusion

I cannot tell you all how much better my life is when I do not get into these types of arguments/conversations with my lady. It makes for smoother car rides and smoother dates. Her hamster will be thinking about your comments all night long, even after you forgot about what you said... AND this can/will interfere with any post-date coitus and/or hummers you have planned.

 

Maintaining frame is a process, and one that requires practice, self-awareness, and situational awareness.

 

TL;DR: Life is easier when you learn to Shut Up and then Shut the Fuck Up^TM .