Very Early Main Event?

[deleted] · 2015-04-15T16:43:39+00:00

MRP is an odd duck: we are TRP with this extra "feature" of being tied down in a marriage. RP says treat this like a girlfriend who says, "we're over..." In which case were clear to respin that plate that's been wobbling.

MRP says to treat it the same... But different. There will be a few different options for this, but my stance has always been that *divorce is a gun. When you point that gun at me, I assume it is loaded. I am under the mores soon that you are mortally threatening me." If my wife pointed a gun at me saying she would shoot me, I'd probably end up having to explain her broken arm and fractured eye socket to a court.

I told my wife about a year ago, because she had dropped the D word on me twice, "the next time you mention that word to me as a threat, you better have your shit packed and ready to leave the house that instant."

Last September when I dropped it on her, I had a place to live lined up, enough things for a week, a plan in place for getting my kids to school, and a timeline for drawing up divorce papers. I also had a timeline and plan for getting my shit out of the house ASAP. She freaked and things turned around since, and this was all pre-RP.

She put the ring on your pillow, she sent a text saying she wanted a divorce. I suggest you follow through as if it's real and treat it like a real divorce, because as far as you are concerned, it is.

1st rule of gun safety: treat every weapon admit it were loaded.

2nd rule: never point the weapon at anything you do not intend to kill.

jons_throwaway · 2015-04-15T14:50:22+00:00

I would bring home the papers for her to sign. With a smile.

Countpudyoola · 2015-04-15T15:08:09+00:00

Wait, you realized you were getting a shitty deal and said fuck'em. Give me a refund I'm outty. That's no where weak in my book. That's deciding to stop bending over.

Not MRP but: Good choice on prepaid. Straightalk for years... love it. Fuck Verizon.

1) Take the ring. Put it someplace safe. She'll need to ask for that back. She have an engagement ring? Why wasn't that on the pillow? It worth anything? Hello pawn shop!

2) Like I always say, talk about divorce is worth the paper it's printed on...which it's not.

Ignore...this...tantrum... and carry on with the self improvement.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-04-16T15:52:20+00:00

What does this person bring to your life again? A SAHM who is in charge, arrogant, frigid, and nasty? No thanks.

This is a child who is used to having her own way and getting everything she wants. I would tolerate that in return for sex on demand. Anything else is a giant loss for you. Don't forget, you hold all the cards here, your wife's little girl rants notwithstanding.

[deleted] · 2015-04-16T16:04:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

jacktenofhearts · 2015-04-15T20:13:02+00:00

Thoughts? It seems really weird that things have gone so nuclear so quick. The whole phone thing is fubar, I messed up and looked weak, I know that but people fuck up. Its a really small thing. Any insight on this situation is welcome, and as always, sorry for the text wall.

It's likely she feels this is a pattern of "my husband can't do anything right." She doesn't trust your leadership of the household. She doesn't even trust you to clean right, it sounds like.

Wife can keep verizon, keep a good phone, the bill goes way down, no contracts either way. Win win. I get home and tell my wife, she freaks out.

So you fucked up your cell phone situation. She calls Verizon and thinks she's figured out how to "fix it." Then you go to the store and do something different than she intended. I'm guessing she freaked out because she's assuming you're whole "let's just go pre-paid!" thing is going to fuck things up too.

massive shit test VERY early in, even though I was introducing redpill as slow as possible. Wife is threatening divorce, my plan is to call her bluff.

I'll be honest -- you may be coming from one of the most overtly beta positions I've ever seen on MRP. Although this may because I peeked at your post history, and based on your Stars Wars obsession, I couldn't help but hear your post in the Simpson's Comic Book guy's voice. Your words just ooze of, "I am not competent at life."

So if you're getting such an early "Main Event," it's probably because she may have been on the verge of divorcing you anyway. So anything you're just doing, especially anything you're doing and fucking up, is going to get hamstered into continuing to justify divorcing you.

I'm not saying all this to shit all over you. But RP almost always results in an big step back (if not multiple steps back) in a marriage before it gets better. Unfortunately, it seems like you have very little margin for error for that step back. You should absolutely call her bluff on the divorce (as everyone is advising), but what about afterwards?

In your case I would focus on actions that display competence. One suggestion is to hire a cleaning service. Be smart about it. Ask friends for recommendations, call around, ask for any specials or discounts, go with one that's highly-reviewed. Wife comes home to a sparking clean house. She'll probably be surprised, and then start hamstering about how much you spent, why you did this without talking to her, etc. Your ideal response is: "I think it's important we keep a clean household. Professionals can do a better job than either of us. We're both busy and have more important things to do in this household than clean."

Then, end of discussion. If she keeps hamstering, just leave the house and hit the gym. A clean house has a calming effect. Down the line you want her saying things like, "I feel so much less stressed out ever since you decided to hire that cleaning service. I don't know why we didn't do this earlier." That's when you know she's recognizing your competence and is no longer resentful that "you can't do anything right."

Hopefully you have the discretionary income to afford $75-$100 for a cleaning service. If you don't even have that, then, well... probably another mark on why your wife doesn't think you're a competent person. In any case, find some other ways to be competent then. Take care of shit that needs to be taken care of, and do it well.

Well salesman sells us this new verizon edge thing, which is more economical, we get better phones and no contract.

BTW -- Verizon Edge is basically the equivalent of leasing a car. It's not more economical in raw dollars. It only makes sense if you want to upgrade your phone once a year and have the extra discretionary income to afford doing so.

Most people have a two year plan, then renew, and then get a new phone and but also keep their old phone. With Verizon Edge, you have a higher monthly payment, and when you get a new phone, you have to turn in your old one. But you can do this once a year. And you can GTFO out of the plan any time you want, which has some value. But in terms of raw dollars, the typical subscription plan is always going to be cheaper.

That being said, I don't know what your nonsense about the $200 activation fee was. I don't recall paying that. Don't make financial decisions under duress. Your wife was the one that called Verizon later and asked all the questions she needed to figure out the financial pros/cons. That should have been you doing it.

It's better to not do something than to do it poorly. When the sales guy started talking about activation fees, you should have left and gone home with your wife. It's never a bad move to say: "I felt I was making a financial commitment on terms I didn't understand. I need to do more research." Your wife may sigh and roll her eyes a bit. You said "let's go out and get new phones!" and you don't have new phones. But clearly, making a bad financial deal is worse than no financial deal.

UEMcGill · 2015-04-15T16:34:31+00:00

Sometimes you give people what they want. My wife knows there's no bluff for divorce. It's not about the phone thing, never was and never will be. She's loosing control and doesn't like it. She wants an emotional response from you. She wants her beta-bitch back.

Regardless of what happens, take control of the finances, move your direct deposit if you can, and be ready to cut her off.

Ask her when she can get her shit out of your house, because you need to start interviewing her replacement. Fuck that noise. Punish this bad behavior severely.

[deleted] · 2015-04-15T16:44:59+00:00

MRP is an odd duck: we are TRP with this extra "feature" of being tied down in a marriage. RP says treat this like a girlfriend who says, "we're over..." In which case were clear to respin that plate that's been wobbling.

MRP says to treat it the same... But different. There will be a few different options for this, but my stance has always been that *divorce is a gun. When you point that gun at me, I assume it is loaded. I am under the impression that you are mortally threatening me." If my wife pointed a gun at me saying she would shoot me, I'd probably end up having to explain her broken arm and fractured eye socket to a court.

I told my wife about a year ago, because she had dropped the D word on me twice, "the next time you mention that word to me as a threat, you better have your shit packed and ready to leave the house that instant."

Last September when I dropped it on her, I had a place to live lined up, enough things for a week, a plan in place for getting my kids to school, and a timeline for drawing up divorce papers. I also had a timeline and plan for getting my shit out of the house ASAP. She freaked and things turned around since, and this was all pre-RP.

She put the ring on your pillow, she sent a text saying she wanted a divorce. I suggest you follow through as if it's real and treat it like a real divorce, because as far as you are concerned, it is.

1st rule of gun safety: treat every weapon admit it were loaded.

2nd rule: never point the weapon at anything you do not intend to kill.

AZTRP · 2015-04-15T21:26:13+00:00

Maintain frame and ignore her 'divorce' tantrum. Ignore, ignore, ignore. You've said she's thrown these fits in the past, to get your beta reaction. This time is different. Keep working on yourself and give her the ultra silent treatment.

Now if she brings papers home, cool, "Time to split the bills. I'll be fine without you. Better go get a job." Short and sweet. Remember women are validated through emotion returns from the people in their life. Move her shit into another room, put a lock on your bedroom door.

Remember, you've both let shit slide, you're working on yourself. Keep working on yourself but make damn sure she earns that ring back (which by the way you should put somewhere safe).

rediscover03 · 2015-04-15T17:14:39+00:00

You're the mountain, you'll weather this storm and definitely don't make it worse by throwing your own tantrum.

Slow it down with the changes and dread. I made a list of shit I do in house, that I don't want and should not do longer term (my wife is SAHM too). Like empty dish washer, vacuum family room and a few others. I can't all of a sudden put this all on her, but gradually I will say no to shit she's delegating my way and gradually make myself so busy with other worthy projects (outside work like lawn trees etc - anything manly) that I will say "honey please do this, I am doing something else x y z that needs to be done. Thanks, you're a doll and so helpful".

FrozenSoil · 2015-04-15T18:24:54+00:00

Hey man, don't worry, I have a very similar situation...I started pushing back and WW3 maybe on the brink. Do what you feel is best, though if she's worth staying married to, then you can maybe salvage this...but its all if you want it.

Title	Very Early Main Event?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	19
Date	April 15, 2015 2:37 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/32ost2/very_early_main_event/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/very-early-main-event.202138 https://theredarchive.com/post/202138

Comments

1) Take the ring. Put it someplace safe. She'll need to ask for that back. She have an engagement ring? Why wasn't that on the pillow? It worth anything? Hello pawn shop!

2) Like I always say, talk about divorce is worth the paper it's printed on...which it's not.