I'm a Wizard Today, and I Feel Awful

ThuleBoy · 2022-10-06T19:54:20+00:00

Yeah, that's rough. It's valid to feel sad about the absence of romantic success.

The bootstrapping process is also rough since women are put off by men with such low experience at your age, thus making it harder to gain some.

But, you can't let it get to your head; keep marching and don't give up.

SpicyMarshmellow · 2022-10-06T20:29:31+00:00

Don't have advice for how to change what you're feeling. You're already expressing awareness of any thought I'd have to offer. But I thought this should be said: Happy Birthday. Hope you have a good one, and that your 30s are prosperous.

judgefro · 2022-10-07T00:24:12+00:00

I feel like nothing we say will make you feel better my man. You can try and go out and meet women (or men no judgement) but I also know that's hard for some people.

Although this may not mean anything for you, I'm going to say this. I hope you find what you're looking for someday. And get what you want someday. But life isn't a race and you still got time. Give yourself a break and enjoy your day bud. I truly hope you have a great birthday 🎂

eyecebrakr · 2022-10-07T00:49:42+00:00

You're not a failure dude. I'm sure it's gotta suck. Any idea why you've struggle in that realm?

DigestChild · 2022-10-06T19:57:11+00:00

Why do you feel like a failure of a man? I’m sure you’ve accomplished so many things! Probably much more than I ever have so don’t feel like a failure just because you haven’t had sex. No one should even care. You’re still an amazing, wonderful, valuable, capable, worthy, and beautiful man! If it really matters to you im sure you can find a hookup… but if you still dont feel ready or if sex is special to you then dont worry about it! Its perfectly okay to be a virgin and the only people who care are those you probably wouldn’t want to be sticking your dick in anyway .__.

Remember that you matter and have a good day :)

Sydnaktik · 2022-10-07T01:35:18+00:00

I want to try and give you advice, but it's so hard without knowing more about you.

Most men spend an enormous amount of time attention effort and resources towards the goal of getting laid. But if you don't feel it's worth that much effort, then there is some solace in knowing that it was a semi-conscious choice. Yes, you want to get laid, but no you didn't want to spend the effort required to make it happen.

However, generally speaking, your level of attractiveness shoot up starting at 30. Now, your particular situation might mean that this is not the case for you, but statistically speaking, it should be. So yes, you could just accept that sex and/or relationships is just not worth the effort for you, and that's perfectly fine. However, in your thirties, the equation changes and it will take less effort to get success and it will be more rewarding. So you may want to give it another serious try. I was where you are at your age and I wish someone had told me this, so now I'm telling you.

There's tons of advice out there on dating, I'd recommend looking into it. Including red pill type stuff. Take what you think makes sense and is ethical, leave the rest behind. Don't be put off by the sheer amount of effort that seems expected of you. For any given advice you chose to follow, you don't have to do the full work, going from not doing it at all to doing just a tiny little bit of it already provides big benefits.

And to keep it simple, sometimes I feel like the whole thing can be summed up like this: If you're an asshole, try not being an asshole for a few minutes. If you're a nice guy, try being a little bit of an asshole for a few minutes.

One more note:

It's your life. You get to build it and live through it as you choose. When you're young you don't understand what you want from life, you don't understand what life has to offer and you don't understand what you can realistically achieve. So you follow other people's guidance and follow social expectations. But now you have a much better understanding of everything, so you can build the best life that's achievable and that works for you. You don't need to pay attention to what society (or nature) expects you to do.

sokra3 · 2022-10-06T20:35:07+00:00

Well, Newton died a virgin and he changed the world. Tesla decided to avoid women because he thought they were a distraction.

It's up to you to think on why have you chosen to take that path. Either by personal choice or you felt pushed to, but nevertheless you have decided, through your actions or inactions to stay on that path. That's neither good nor wrong, it just is.

If you don't like it, change what you are doing, on small increments, until you reach a point you are satisfied.

If you do like it, congrats! You are doing something you like and you decide to do.

psychosythe · 2022-10-06T22:01:24+00:00

If it's lack of sexual access an escort makes a great birthday present to yourself.

Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n · 2022-10-07T07:19:05+00:00

You know why wizards don't have sex? Wizards push themselves towards a higher purpose than base human instincts and institutions. Their power comes from their knowledge and willpower alone.

I dreamed of being a wizard as a kid. Absolute 100% fantasy come true. And while I cannot make produce lightning from my finger tips (yet) I know about constructing electrical circuits, electronic transformers, electro-magnetism, quantum locking. I also have just run my first 5k, gave up smokong and with nust the right words I can charm people to do what I require them to do.

Intelligence and willpower.

Everyone has the capacity to tap into these resources. You can too. With determination to push through when your body tells you to stop. But if a lazy, depressed slob like me can manage it...

Also, what you really need is a purpose. A drive towards something you can physically achieve and mark off as an accomplishment for your life. Sex is great and all but it's fleeting. 1 in 3 men at 30 haven't had sex in some studies. And sex doesn't make a man. It really doesn't. Integrity holds the man together. Purpose shapes the man. Actions are the man.

Find your purpose. Bring some good to yourself and the world.

And happy 30th birthday, bro!!! Maybe this is the year things change for you...if you make it so.

BloomingBrains · 2022-10-06T22:22:25+00:00

Why not just embrace the idea of being asexual? Obviously you're not really asexual. I'm not either, but I've toyed with the idea of telling myself in my head that I am one. At the very least, you could tell other people you're ace as a way of explaining it and so that you won't get as much shit.

But at the same time, I feel like saying asexual isn't a complete lie. Its hard to maintain a level of excitement for, and interest in, a group of humans that consistently tells you "no" and holds you at arms length over and over again like you're some kind of piece of trash. Sometimes I feel like I am more attracted to the idea of women than the reality of women anymore. I don't hate women, but like I said, is it possible to really say I love women anymore? I've lost my faith that one day I will meet one that loves me. I'm not interested in dating, its been nothing but bleak and depressing and humiliating for me. Saying I'm not ace at this point would be a bit like saying I'm a rock concert fan even though I've never been to a rock concert because I've been denied entry to them. So not literally ace, but perhaps spiritually ace, if that makes sense.

Savagemaw · 2022-10-11T14:01:36+00:00

Do you want to have sex?

Thats the most important question for yourself, and ironically any potential sexual partner.

But specifically, I'm asking you.

onedollarpizza · 2022-10-12T16:46:41+00:00

Happy Belated Birthday!

Just wanted to say that you aren’t a failure as a man. A man isn’t defined solely on how many women he’s had sex with despite it being a meme and a talking point culturally.

My grandfather was successful in business and in life and he was only with one woman- my grandmother. That’s only one more woman than you’ve been with at this point. One day you’ll find someone to be romantic with and maybe that will end up your wife. Or maybe not. Would you say someone who has had sex with one woman and it happened to be their wife as being a failure of a man? I don’t think many people would say that at all.

You’re just chilling/marinating for the next step.

Keep chugging along, bro. Your time will come!

Title	I'm a Wizard Today, and I Feel Awful
Author	frackingfaxer
Upvotes	36
Comments	19
Date	October 6, 2022 7:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MenSupportMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/xxdw3m/im_a_wizard_today_and_i_feel_awful/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/im-a-wizard-today-and-i-feel-awful.1134843 https://theredarchive.com/post/1134843

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