~ archived since 2018 ~

Mid-week check-in

January 18, 2022

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

Please have a look at our current event and consider participating.

Wishing you all a good continuation of the week!

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Post Information
Title Mid-week check-in
Author mensupportmenmod
Upvotes 17
Comments 8
Date January 18, 2022 4:00 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]6-leslie 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Today marks 1 month without nicotine. I'm proud of that. I did it on my own. I avoided drinking during the holidays :)

I've been doing ... since I made a post on this sub last month. I was doing awesome, now I'm not doing good. I'm doing better than I used to when I felt bad. I'm less harsh on myself, can find ways to work around wanting to lay in bed all day, coping better with suicidal thoughts. I should be proud of that & I am, but I feel guilty for "falling back."

The main thing bothering me lately is fear of my family / future. I worry I'll never be able to get away. I try to distract myself & say "everything will be OK" even though I don't believe that.

I got a referral to a new psychiatrist. I'm looking forward to starting treatment again. I hope things will be OK.

[–]peanutbutterjams 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Congrats on going off nicotine! Dropping an addiction is harder than any non-addict will ever know.

Did you go cold turkey, patches, gum?

I try to distract myself & say "everything will be OK" even though I don't believe that.

It's okay to not believe it. If it's reasonably true, a truth that an outside observer would affirm, then you don't have to believe it.

You should keep saying it, though. Trying giving it 5% belief until you start to believe it a little bit, then throw more faith into it.

I'm sitting in front of a wall filled with 8X10's containing a lesson I've learned. One of them is Faith it until you make it. "Faith" has too long meant religious belief but I'm talking about a 100% secular faith in yourself.

Trust yourself. Build enough trust and you'll find yourself worrying less about the future because you trust yourself to handle whatever comes your way.

I'm a skeptic with low self-esteem and I still got there. I know you can too.

[–]6-leslie 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I quit cold turkey :) I had problems with other drugs in the past so I had faith in myself I could do it. I'm a skeptic with low self-esteem too. Trusting myself at least enough to quit & being proud is new for me.

Thank you for the message. I'll try my best.

[–]birdman_14 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Fuggin struggling - repeating my cycle of self sabotage and depression. Girlfriend moved out over the weekend. Was an hour late to work today because I refuse to go to bed at a decent hour, and boss is mad. Started therapy last week so that's one good thing. I'm hoping to get a lot of insight into my thought processes and be able to break this goddamn cycle and learn how to love and respect myself.

[–]UnHope20 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry to hear about your relationship problems.

If I can ask, why do you think that you sabotage yourself? Is there anything in particular that happened to make you feel that way?

[–]peanutbutterjams 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

learn how to love and respect myself.

Knowing that as your goal is a fucking great start. Be proud of that.

I've struggled with going to bed all my life. It was usually because I didn't want to face the next day. So I started making plans each night to do something the next day that I could look forward to.

Taking a walk on my break, taking up a 365 pictures a year photo challenge, taking on a new book, starting a new hobby or sport I've been interested in.

(Bowling on a team is a great way to socialize and lift your spirits. Bowlers are almost universally good people.)

It became a lot easier to get bed. I had something that was mine the next day, a day in which I gave most everything to other people.

I learned that I liked being pulled, instead of pushed.

Push: "You have to go to bed"


Pull: "I want to get to bed because I'm looking forward to X."

I hope that helps! It's not a magic bullet but nothing is. There's only ways to make the hard work a little easier.

[–]birdman_14 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the advice, I really like the idea of coming up with one thing to do that will get me to go to bed on time. I often wish I could get up early enough to work out in the mornings, but I also love staying up either gaming or watching movies at night. I know that discipline is all it takes, and it becomes a habit after only a few weeks. I have all the time in the world now that my girlfriend has moved out. Exercise is the most underrated antidepressant, right? I'll try starting there, make a workout plan for every morning, and do my best to stick with it.

[–]kenbrucedmr 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey man. I think we all need to allow for some sloppiness when we are down. It's inevitable. I guess it's not you boss' fault (s/he might not even know about the girlfriend thing) but do cut yourself some slack.

Congrats on the therapy. I think it will help. If, after a while, you think it doesn't, don't give up, try another therapist.

You are worth it, man. Not only you deserve happiness, but there is happiness somewhere there inside you, waiting to be found. Loving and respecting yourself is really important. We love you and respect you.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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