~ archived since 2018 ~

Weekend check-in

March 10, 2023

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

Please have a look at our current event and consider participating.

I wish you all a good weekend!

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Post Information
Title Weekend check-in
Author mensupportmenmod
Upvotes 16
Comments 11
Date March 10, 2023 4:00 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]BlackoutWalksAlone 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Went out today just to get out of the house for a bit (and be away from my mom for awhile too). Went to Armando's to eat and I saw this sign that basically said "Men go to the left because women are always right." The misandry.....I swear half of the time I think when it see it often I think its in my head but the other half of the time, it's thrown in my face and it's not even subtle. I'm afraid to talk to anyone about it without being ridiculed or called nuts or even lashed out at. So I keep it all in. I guess for my own safety.

I went to Baskin Robbins for a milkshake before going home. Called a Lyft to get home. The driver almost wouldn't take me because I had a milkshake in my hand. So I kinda had to make small talk with him in order to get a ride home. I understand not wanting anyone to mess up his car although....maybe this is why at some point I should learn how to drive. Because it can be hard to trust others. To have my mom or family members driving me everywhere or taking the bus or train (they don't have any of that where I live) or taking Lyft and hoping the drivers will take me home and not deny me a ride (and still make me pay for it). I sorta came up with this phrase in my head. "Don't trust another animal." Because in essence, human beings are a different kind of animal right? Some sort of connection is needed with another human being to survive but I always have to be on the look out for other people and what they say and what they do. And unfortunately that includes my family. Again, I keep quiet about a lot of this stuff for my own safety I guess. Try not to make too many waves.

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I dunno.... I feel conflicted. This whole last year has been a challenge. I just passed my one year anniversary from my near death experience. So that has been on my mind.

But my most challenging thing as of late is my daughter getting a medical diagnosis. Nothing life threatening, strictly mental. But it has been grating on me.

Knowing the life long challenge that is now standing right in front of her.

I'm not allowed to feel bad or speak indifferently about it lest my opinions influence her feelings about the diagnosis.

It is just another thing that I need to push down and repress. Just like so much else.

I know it isn't about me but my genes directly influenced her issues. How can you not feel bad about that?

It ebbs and flows throughout the week.

I love my daughter more than life itself. It just pains me to know that she will struggle with these limitations.

[–]Klutzy_Pride_5644 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

How old is your daughter? I have an 18 year old with acute PTSD - thanks to his mum - and it had been a 5 year roller coaster. One thing I have learnt is that people are profoundly resilient. Kids, in particular, are amazing at dealing with whatever life throws them (I also have girls who are 3 and 6). Keep your chin up brother, everyone has their strengths, and being an intellectual is just one option ❤️

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

My daughter is 7, almost 8. She was diagnosed autistic with ADHD. She is a strong girl. Resilient like her mom (also autistic ADHD. Didn't learn till just this year) and crazy like me.

I know she will be okay. It's just hard to reconcile. The PTSD stuff is rough. Been dealing with it myself for many years.

I appreciate the kind words.

[–]Klutzy_Pride_5644 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I run a software company and all my best employees are well on the spectrum. It sucks that our school system makes it hard for autistic people to "do well" but in real life, it can be a blessing as well as a curse. I hope it all works out well for you and your daughter it sounds like you have a bit on your plate ✊️

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Eh, maybe just a smidgen but I'm getting by, day by day.

My daughter is gonna be awesome at whatever she chooses to do. And so help me, I'll have her back till the day I die.

[–]UnHope20 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sorry to hear this. It's never fun to get a diagnosis and I think there needs to be more conversation about how these sorts of things effect family as well.

There's no point in blaming yourself. It's not like you want this to happen. Please give yourself grace.

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sure I'll find my peace eventually. But thank you for the kind words nonetheless.

[–]googitygig 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not great today. Hard to get out of bed. Really struggling with college work and I've a tendency to bury my head in the sand and avoid doing the work I should be doing when i get this anxious.

My kid's mum and I (separated) are in a disagreement over my sons schooling too. She wants to send him to school in September whereas I'd prefer if he does another year of preschool as he's quite small still. Ultimately she'll probably get to decide as she's primary carer. I'd also like to send him to school in a different area to where his mum wants him to go. I'm hoping for equal custody but it's a long process in my country. Just feel like my voice is never heard when it comes to parenting decisions as that has been the case up until now.

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

To not feel heard is immensely frustrating. I'm sorry you're going through that on top of the stressors that come with college life.

Hang in there, take it step by step and just look out for you the best you can.

[–]googitygig 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks bud :)

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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