About to lose everything

operative87 · 2022-12-22T01:19:00+00:00

Your wife sounds awful, but honestly why would you threaten to kill a toddler!?

Sorry but the only sympathy I have here is for your son.

honey_bee117 · 2022-12-22T03:36:58+00:00

This ... sheesh. The only sympathy I have is for the kids tbh. If you had videos of what she's done, that'd be best bec then they'd be taken from you both. All ik is, if yall don't straighten up asap that child will have a rough existence. Why did she film you, were y'all fighting or something or was she scared for him? (Trying to see what angle she's coming from when she's no better verbal abuse wise)

MyUsernameIsMehh · 2022-12-22T04:35:16+00:00

You lost me and my symapthies at how you said you'd kill your own child, then you made me hate you when I realized you've never attempted to stop your wife. If she's so bad, why the fuck have you let it go on for so long?

PenCareless7877 · 2022-12-22T05:18:07+00:00

As much as my girls annoy me I never said I wanted to hurt them ever I just say their name loud once they instantly know I am not playing but you buddy boy say bye to your kids

raptyledysfunction · 2022-12-22T13:40:28+00:00

You belong in jail. That is your place. Who threatens a toddler? What the hell is wrong with you?

The_soul_of_waldo · 2022-12-22T03:20:36+00:00

. That's your son your his father the fact that you would even threaten to do something so heinous tells me you have serious issues you need to work on .

Delicious-Loquat-301 · 2022-12-22T03:37:05+00:00

Fact; You verbally and emotionally abused your toddler. And also witnessed and allowed his mother to do the same. Talk to a counselor and take some parenting classes at the least. Sheesh. You're all TAH here.

LessBeyond5052 · 2022-12-22T12:16:01+00:00

Imagine threatening to kill your own son, a toddler at that, as a father of two young boys myself I find you utterly fucking repulsive. Your wife sounds like a dream aswell, rather than put your kid through the shit, which by the sounds of it there is plenty ... Fucking split up? There's obviously no love, you sound like a couple of degenerates that in the long run will either kill eachover ( she's already pulling knives ) or completely and utterly destroy that poor child on every level imaginable.

PactScharp · 2022-12-22T02:06:05+00:00

Regardless of the outcome, you should absolutely look for help to get that anger in check. I believe you in that you would never hurt your son... but being verbally threatened or insulted is no joke & you need to work on yourself & get the help you need. Not just for your own sake, but for the sake of your son. He should be your primary concern in every decision you make. You at least acknowledge that you have issues, which is the first step in improving. It shows you're not a narcissist at the very least.

My father is a literal sociopath & narcissist (clinically speaking). While he did beat me as a child, as "punishment" when I misbehaved, that wasn't really motivated by his mental issues... so that's easier to let go. But his constant rage, dominance & aggression has made me more introverted & secluded than I would have been if I had a normal father. Point is, if you don't fix your own behavior now, your anger is going to mold your son into becoming a lesser version of himself. He'll never reach his full potential.

In regards to losing everything... I wish I could help you, but I don't know anything about the law. If you don't even wish to reconcile with your wife, then take up a lawyer & bring up how she threatened you with knives. That's a WAY worse crime than making some clearly not genuine threat (still fucked up though & you should NEVER tell your son that ever again.

Again, Idk anything about the law, but there may even be a possibility that a judge takes the kid away from the BOTH of you if he believes neither of you are capable of raising children. It may not be anywhere near that extreme. I'm just saying, it's a possibility you ought to check out and consider.

Beyond that, I have nothing to tell you... just lawyer up, be truthful, take accountability for your mistakes, don't wait on getting therapy or anger management classes (this will also look better for the judge, showing you're pro-active) & fight for your son the best you can.

If all ends up going to shit... cling unto the fact that you are still needed. Your son needs you. Even if he's not allowed to see you. Draw your strength from that. Keep grinding, supporting, loving your son in any way you can. Don't make the mistake that suicide will solve everything. That's the last thing your son needs.

UnfilteredTap · 2022-12-22T03:43:16+00:00

Your poor kids. They don't deserve either of their parents to treat them this way. Fuck you and your wife. Come around here looking for support or something? I hope your cell mate knocks your teeth out on day one and you become a kool aid lipped bitch.

chris34728 · 2022-12-22T08:58:31+00:00

You should be locked up

babygirlr19 · 2022-12-22T03:21:27+00:00

I don’t have much sympathy for either of you, I hope your kid gets out of this abusive household as soon as humanly possible.

cistacea · 2022-12-22T16:34:39+00:00

The fact that the comment section is not condoning this guy, and is being honest with him, gives me faith in this sub.

MisterBusker · 2022-12-22T00:40:06+00:00

Get a lawyer. How old is your son. If he's old enough, he can corroborate your side of the story. Again, get a lawyer. They will be your best help.

skcuf2 · 2022-12-22T04:27:44+00:00

I don't believe you. There's too much wrong here with why your wife was recording when you were doing whatever it was that caused you to tell your kid you were going to kill him. You also sound like you're in a pretty shitty household if your wife has drawn a knife on you.

You say you haven't been violent in the past and have never been in a fight. This makes me think you're angry for another reason. I assume you play video games or something that's causing your rage. Women aren't emotionally strong and often can't tell the difference between excited anger from sports and adrenaline and actual anger. I've seen this cause many fights in the past.

Get a lawyer. Nothing anyone here says will do anything to help you. You and your wife both sound like some pieces of shit and your kids are going to be that apple right at the bottom of the tree if you don't stop fucking up. It's time to be a man and get control of your emotions.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2022-12-22T01:48:49+00:00

No parents are perfect and we all make mistakes. Get a good lawyer and learn from this. You'll get your kids back eventually. Have hope.

It sounds like your ex is trying to cut you out though. Try for 50/50 equal shared parenting eventually so she can't alienate you further. Let your children get to know you without her as a filter.

Delicious-Loquat-301 · 2022-12-22T03:44:57+00:00

At the very least Google "how to be a Good Person". Then treat people, especially your son, as a person. Next go to parenting classes and anger management support groups. Get help. Do better.

Striking_Ad_6573 · 2022-12-22T03:57:59+00:00

Is there any way someone would be able to call CPS about what happened? I mean about what your wife says to the kids, since clearly they shouldn’t be with her either.

Don’t get me wrong, you’re a piece of shit for letting this happen for so long, and then the fact that you would even think to say that to your son. Neither you or your wife should have custody of your kids, at least not until after some parental correction courses. Any relatives that could take them in? if

lnn1986 · 2022-12-22T15:45:20+00:00

Of course OP deleted THIS…OP reeks of ABUSIVE coward

UnintentionallyMean_ · 2022-12-22T16:14:11+00:00

Honestly, f*ck you and your wife for talking to your babies like that. You’re both disgusting.

No-Pen-9030 · 2022-12-22T18:02:23+00:00

I honestly wonder if he just made up the part about the wife. People don't just record their spouses while they're angry unless they are being abused and need help. The fact that he's even trying to vlaim victim AMD redirect our blame to another person who went so far and to get a protection against him...

No-Effective6332 · 2022-12-22T20:40:26+00:00

Both OP and his wife needs therapy and anger management classes. I get kids misbehave at times and raising them isn’t easy, but that is no excuse for parents to behave just as bad or even worse than kids and act like a jerk towards them. OP, you and your wife also seriously need to learn to set limits and boundaries with your kids which you failed to do and instead you OP; threaten to kill them. Your wife wasn’t any better by telling the kids she hates them and wish that they never existed. If neither of you cannot show have any patience (or love in your wife’s case) for your kids then you probably shouldn’t be parents and lost custody of them all together.

Anger is NEVER an excuse to be an asshole towards anyone in any way, shape or form anyways

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2022-12-22T21:02:24+00:00

“Generally non confrontational outside the home.” So abusive to your wife and kids but too scared when someone can fight back? You deserve everything coming for you

Less_Scheme6244 · 2022-12-22T23:36:36+00:00

I have no sympathy for someone who threatens a toddler. If your marriage is bad, leave. Never take it out on your kid

Less_Scheme6244 · 2022-12-22T23:38:38+00:00

Sounds like your kids are better off in foster care than with either of you

Title	About to lose everything
Author	Forlorn_Father
Upvotes	0
Comments	199
Date	December 21, 2022 9:25 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zs1e48/about_to_lose_everything/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/about-to-lose-everything.1144860 https://theredarchive.com/post/1144860

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