Apology

2013-08-08T13:06:28+00:00

Apologize to yourself, bro.

We're all affected by this stuff.

HalfysReddit · 2013-08-08T16:55:53+00:00

We're no different than anybody else bro. I'm a typical guy - I drink to excess, ride motorcycles, listen to metal, enjoy promiscuous sex, I fall pretty squarely in the "masculine" camp.

But that's not relevant to my participation in this sub. We men face issues that largely go ignored, and IMO more importantly young defenseless boys face issues that largely go ignored.

This is not a hate group. This is not an oppression pissing contest. We just want to help spread awareness of the things that hurt us.

newSuperHuman · 2013-08-08T09:49:10+00:00

I'm just sorry you found reason to apologize. I wish we were just a bunch of women hating men worried about losing unearned privilege.

Any how, welcome to the community.

ThePigman · 2013-08-08T09:00:07+00:00

There are plenty of "traditional" males who are a part of this movement. I think Helen Smith, forensic psychologist, said it best during her IAmA:

I agree that complaining is viewed as "unmanly" but is fighting for justice "unmanly"? When men tell me they do not want to seem like complainers or whiners, I ask them if fighting for gun rights or for freedom of speech, etc.is unmanly. They usually say no. Isn't fighting against the lack of due process, lack of reproductive rights, or against involuntary servitude very similar to fighting for those rights I mentioned? How is that complaining? Or is it only complaining if a man benefits?

2013-08-08T13:36:23+00:00

You learned this behaviour from somewhere, mostly media, relatives or friends. It's important that now that you have woken up, you start to call it out when you see it.

EvilPundit · 2013-08-08T07:36:03+00:00

Thank you, and there's no need to apologise - though it is appreciated.

We all learn as we grow, and that sometimes means we have to acknowledge past mistakes. The important thing is to do better in future.

Not so many years ago, I would have thought it was all bullshit, too. I've never had these sorts of things happen to me, since I'm lucky - but from what I've heard and seen, many others like me are not so fortunate.

We can all work together to try to create a fairer world for everyone - men and women.

MaestroLogical · 2013-08-08T10:58:32+00:00

I've found that understanding MRA's is something everyone has to come to on their own terms. Kind of like telling a child not to be in a rush to grow up, its only something that makes sense when you're ready for it to.

Whether it be, from a retrospective lifetime of experience, or from recent events that get you in the mindset that perhaps, things aren't exactly as clear cut as you thought.

Once that conditioned bias is breached though, you can start to comprehend that you were merely reacting as you'd been conditioned to, towing the party line as it were. Then and only then is it possible to have open eyes and mind.

baskandpurr · 2013-08-08T13:07:13+00:00

I respect that you are big enough to apologise, and it kind of feels good, but it doesn't feel like it's necessary. You grew up in a society that feeds you a specific view of the world, that became an unthinking assumption, and now you've been able to see beyond that. If anything, I'm glad that you found some insight.

I'm not sure what you mean by "they think you are like me"? MRA's are just people. I don't know what you think 'traditional male' means, but the majority of MRAs are typical heterosexual men. Although there are plenty of women and gays in the movement too. MR doesn't seem to be interested in labels like that.

/r/MensRights has seen quite a few appalling threads. There's been suicide notes, a father who's son killed himself asking for reasons why, veterans struggling to deal with PTSD, and many others. I remember a while back, a guy who was refused custody of his daughter, despite the mother abusing her many times, and then she killed her. Which thread did you read?

2013-08-08T14:06:10+00:00

I'm glad that thread opened your eyes. I had to stop reading it after a couple stories because I got way too angry and upset.

KRosen333 · 2013-08-08T16:31:11+00:00

This really doesn't mean shit, I'm just one dude, but I totally owe every one of you MRA's an apology. I'm a pretty "traditional" male, in every sense of that word, except I think I'm a bit more thoughtful than most of my gym buddies. I used to mock MRA's constantly and under other names I've trolled this community about shit like circumcision and female-on-male rape. After reading the thread about men's experiences of rape, MUCH of which was experiences of rape by women, I'm not laughing anymore. Feminists don't understand you guys at all, they think you are like me, but you're not at all. Generally you seem like a nice bunch that is genuinely upset about this stuff, and I must admit I had no IDEA of the extent of this problem. I'm so sorry I ever made fun of anyone over it, and I really hope that thread opens the eyes of other people as well. I seriously am in shock from what I read there.

Not a problem man. When I was growing up, my little sister had a friend name A. (not using full names) Her parents used to fight, and they eventually broke up because her mom, named D, tried to cut A's dad, T, with a broken beer bottle. I thought it was the most unusual thing in the world.

Thinking back, I still for some reason think this, even though I KNOW consciously that it happens far, far more often than we used to think. It's crazy. Ya know?

Live and learn. That's the best we can do as imperfect mortal men.

avantvernacular · 2013-08-08T14:18:43+00:00

I takes a lot of guts to admit when you're wrong, and I can respect that. The real question is, what do you intend to do now that you know what you do?

2013-08-08T20:05:45+00:00

It's a human rights movement.

For all intents and purposes. Gender is pretty much irrelevant except that it polarizes and frames the injustices. Which is what the radfems don't get.

I try to stay neutral as much as possible. I support men's rights, I support women's rights, minority rights, etc and the best way to do it is to bring up MR issues without using gender. Everyone just thinks you're talking about women's problems and then SURPRISE, nope.

That really rattles people. You can do it with most of them except maybe for the exception of circumcision as female circumcision isn't common in western civilization.

Paul Elam is famous for doing the ol' switcheroo. You should check him out.

GenderEqualityKing · 2013-08-08T23:32:20+00:00

If I could, I'd give you a giant manshake right now and a beard buzz to boot. :-) (manspeak for thank you). We may be animals, but it doesn't mean we're uncivilized.

Rattatoskk · 2013-08-09T05:42:42+00:00

If it helps you out, I accept your apology. Now stop worrying about it, and enjoy life to the fullest.

rightsbot · 2013-08-08T07:28:16+00:00

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2013-08-08T22:42:59+00:00

Don't go overboard with the 180 or you will make the same mistake in reverse. As important as it may be, ruminating on these issues isn't incredibly good for your mental health now matter how you view them.

fukuaneveryoneuknow · 2013-08-08T18:40:29+00:00

You should be sorry to yourself, you're the one shooting yourself in the foot by shitting on the MRM and anyone who questions feminism.

Jacksambuck · 2013-08-08T15:41:25+00:00

Apologies for making fun of people are not necessary. Not among men, anyway (lol).

I could tell you that I think it's manly to rationnally think about issues and ignore what society in general thinks, but the truth is I think it's just good. Although in today's climate even mentioning that something associated with maleness is "good" is taboo anyway.

Pecanpig · 2013-08-08T12:12:06+00:00

Can't tell if trolling...don't really care for the time being due to context.

AryaBarzan · 2013-08-09T02:28:25+00:00

Out of curiosity, what was your opinion of feminism?

mikesteane · 2013-08-10T07:15:41+00:00

This is why we should not waste our time debating with the closed mind of the feminist world. We need to target people who have eyes to see with.

Title	Apology
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	106
Comments	53
Date	August 8, 2013 7:26 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1jxyg1/apology/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/apology.1166894 https://theredarchive.com/post/1166894

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