"Are we dating the same guy" Facebook groups. Valid Safety Check or online harassment?

calmly86 · 2025-03-23T17:53:08+00:00

I think the best thing about those “are we dating the same guy” groups is that it helps prove the 80/20 rule and it’s women who are proving it through their own actions by complaining about it.

No_Leather3994 · 2025-03-23T17:36:18+00:00

Online harassment. Its not really safety check because otherwise they will say something like "This man abused me for 2 years and just left me penniless. So if any of you see him, don't get with him" instead its more like checking he isn't two-timing her. I would accept it if they were equal but I doubt a group of men passing a womans photo to check if she's two-timing them will be treated the same

_WutzInAName_ · 2025-03-23T17:53:28+00:00

There have been many reports of unscrupulous women using those Facebook groups to smear and make false accusations against men. Some of those accusers are mentally unstable and/or vindictive.

An increase in defamation lawsuits against perpetrators (I’ve heard of at least one so far) would help to reduce this kind of online harassment.

mandark1171 · 2025-03-23T19:06:20+00:00

If it was solely used honestly and for making sure people weren't being abused.. then it would he valid

But its not its mostly people lying about interactions for victim points and dragging people through the mud via liable ... so online harassment

BENJIDOVER79 · 2025-03-23T21:18:36+00:00

Honestly, give it time—“Are We Dating the Same Guy” is just gonna turn into a Chad registry. At this rate, the top 10% of dudes are gonna be quarantined in that Facebook group while every woman takes turns dating the same five guys on rotation.

And the irony? The more a guy’s name pops up, the more desirable he becomes—“Well if five other women fought over him, he must be worth it.”

Meanwhile, the rest of us are out here invisible… watching the Chad Olympics.

OddStatus38 · 2025-03-24T15:01:56+00:00

Yeah there's no moderation, and anybody can anonymously post whatever they want with no proof or way for the subject of a post to respond to defend themselves. Those groups really shouldn't exist.

Powerful-Gas-3421 · 2025-03-24T06:45:43+00:00

I respectfully rejected a girl after 2 dates and she posted me on the group saying bad things about and how I am unsafe to be around with. I think that group is used by women to try to embarrass men. I stopped dating since then.

AWDTSGisToxic · 2025-03-24T14:50:38+00:00

Its a lot of toxic women abusing the groups. If the groups stayed to their stated purpose they would be okay. But mods don't moderate- its a group that attacks men for the entertainment of the women in the groups. It should be shut down.

We need help shutting them down, if you are interested in more info or help with getting your photos down, please come to the sub to help.

XYBiohacker · 2025-03-23T18:56:39+00:00

My personal opinion is that there is nothing inherently wrong with groups like this, since it can help keep people safe from abusive individuals and also improve their dating experience, and I wouldn't mind if we create such groups for men too.

However, the issue is, most of us believe in the "women are wonderful" effect and believe that a woman can never have nefarious intentions. But we know how toxic gossipping can get, you never know what unverified and harmful misinformation it can spread, which can cause so much damage to you, with there also having being an incident of a man being killed by his estranged wife over this.

Honestly, I would just stay away from Online dating. For me online dating itself seems very toxic, in my opinion it treats people more as commodities to others rather than actual human beings. I would also never want to vetted like a criminal and have people stalk my personal life.

ungodlycollector · 2025-03-24T08:07:55+00:00

I was recently posted by a lady I'm dating. My ex reached out and said kind things about me, then texted me and gave me shit for dating so soon after we broke up. The post was taken down a day later. The date states she uses the group strictly for its intended purpose. I still feel uncomfortable about it.

LoquatBear · 2025-03-25T06:42:42+00:00

Most of the time it's obvious catfishing

Roamer56 · 2025-03-26T21:01:43+00:00

I don’t waste my time and money on women anymore. 99 percent of them are boring as hell, have personalities that are like fingernails across a chalkboard and are usually looking for a retirement fund.
I couldn’t care less what they do on their stupid little Fuckbook clique. MGTOW!

Willing-Share-5617 · 2025-03-24T02:38:11+00:00

Get off the dating apps if you don't want to be posted to these Facebook groups.

alter_furz · 2025-03-24T17:32:36+00:00

as long as the same groups for boys are outlawed, I don't see how those groups are okay for women.

i even find these groups funny, aka "who is my fellow concubine of this 1% man?"

Jmg1315 · 2025-04-17T18:27:11+00:00

Horrible I went out with a girl 4 times in the span of about a month decided she wasn’t for me and continued using the apps. I guess one of her friends matched me and I was told I was on one of the facebook pages by a friend. Said I cheated on her and we were exclusive put my first and last name and my phone number in the comments. Then a girl I went on one date with two years ago posted a made up story in the comments saying that another woman text her the day after our date off my phone asking who she was like I had a girlfriend at the time of our date which is completely false. That girl tried to text me for months after I told her I was not feeling it so I guess that’s why she lied not sure. I’m giving up on dating for now not worth the stress

beast_status · 2025-03-24T03:00:46+00:00

Hard to put you on a facebook page if they don’t have pics of you.

Former-Whole8292 · 2025-03-24T05:15:17+00:00

Im on 2 of those, for the 2 cities Ive lived in and some of the posts are ridiculous. Like when girls say their “baby daddy” who has 2 other kids is cheating with the mother of the other kids, Im like, a baby daddy is not a father, a husband, or a committed relationship. Neither is a baby mama. It’s a childish term for non committal people imo.

Also, theyll write about long-distance relationships for 2 years, and Im like, if someone hasnt committed to moving, dont be surprised that theyre cheating.

Also, girls who pay for everything for men and find the male version of gold diggers. Gold diggers are bad, whether male or female. But men used to know when they got a woman bc of money. Women dont seem to catch. They got some broke guy living with them doing nothing that doesnt even look good. Gold digging women used to look good and be subservient. And then they find out these guys are on dating apps and are surprised… smh.

AbysmalDescent · 2025-03-24T14:44:13+00:00

A man dating two different women is not a safety concern, it's an ego concern. These women are not under any threat, they are simply looking to control or get even. These are not even married men but, evidently, men who are still in a dating stage. These apps are collective stalking tools, which have only been normalized because women seem to be under this belief that it's okay for them to stalk men.

Those women also probably know that these men are seeing other women in their dating stages, otherwise they wouldn't be on those sites to begin with. They could just choose to date other men, men who would give them no doubt about their fidelity, but they choose not to. They will instead continue to date these promiscuous men, knowing what they are and being attracted to those men because of what they are, while also thinking they are in the right for invading every possible right to privacy or protection from harassment these men might have.

At best, these apps are stalking and would be considered incredibly disgusting if the genders were reverse. At worse, they are breading grounds for gossip, manipulation and slander. They are a perfect example of toxic femininity in action, and just how incredibly privileged women are in society to be able to get away with such grotesques outside interference into people's lives.

Main_Network_3132 · 2025-03-24T23:19:59+00:00

This exacerbates the loneliness epidemic. Most of the posts there have nothing to do with safety. It's embarrassing for any man to be posted there even if it's all positive "reviews". It's dehumanising to be reviewed by a bunch of people like you're a piece of furniture

There's no balance or recourse either. If someone says something about you, you cannot defend yourself. Even worse, by group rules, other women can't do that either

Title	"Are we dating the same guy" Facebook groups. Valid Safety Check or online harassment?
Author	m8547
Upvotes	96
Comments	27
Date	March 23, 2025 5:29 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1ji4mvl/are_we_dating_the_same_guy_facebook_groups_valid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-facebook-groups-valid.1547375 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547375

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