How the hell does that work???

trollwnb · 2013-02-05T10:13:17+00:00

she has been friendzoned, apparently its only fair when women does it. If a man does it, its misogynistic, sexist and whatever else feminazis come up.

PartTimeBadman · 2013-02-05T12:23:03+00:00

It's because society has bent 'misogyny' to mean 'any activity which does not directly benefit a woman.' If they had objectified her, it's misogyny, if they ignore her, it's misogyny. Men can't win.

CosmicKeys · 2013-02-05T10:26:11+00:00

The average guy knows the average girl is sensitive to how physically attractive males find her. So when a girl accuses him of not desiring her, he tries a the stupid get out of jail free card "you don't count" to avoid hurting her feelings and saying I don't find you attractive.

Feminists are rarely even outspoken about how men and women should interact in terms of what they can do. Instead, they simply define what they see is bad until little to nothing is left. I can't tell you how damaging this message is to young men, it tells them that their sexual urges are wrong, the mere vocation of them is misogyny, despite having enormous social pressure to be the pursuer.

However "you don't count" could be saying a number of things, the most likely is "I'm not attracted to you", or "I don't want to limit my sexual expression just for your ego", or "I appreciate you a close friend and not a sexual partner, back me up on how I feel". People in general aren't good at expressing how they feel.

EDIT: Or "I really like feminine girls and your attractive but not traditionally feminine" etc.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2013-02-05T05:47:19+00:00

There is a Latino classmate of mine that has publicly discussed the impact of being defined as Latino at school but whitewashed at home; he claims that he just wants to be identified as himself and not as a race (a position I agree with.) However, he is also one of the heads of the Latino student union and announces their meetings at assemblies.

The moral of this, I guess, is that sometimes people want to be identified as a demographic and sometimes they don't. I prefer to separate people from demographics, but I don't see the OP as irrational.

On the other hand, the other commenter is nuts.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2013-02-05T14:48:01+00:00

Step 1: declare any man who treats a woman differently to be a sexist.

Step 2: declare any man who follows step 1 to be a sexist.

Step 3: ????

Step 4: Profit!

DerickBurton · 2013-02-05T12:32:38+00:00

Dammed if you do dammed if you don't.

comehitherhitler · 2013-02-05T11:18:28+00:00

Men are not friends to women in the same way that women are friends to women. Your girlfriends might tell you that you look hot but have no desire to have sex with you. Your guy friends typically won't. The female reaction to this is to allow or encourage male friends to desire them sexually to get the positive image reinforcement that they crave. This is the friendzone. If you want to be treated like a sexual being you should look for it outside your circle of friends unless you want to ruin those friendships.

The other commenter clearly doesn't know the definition of misogyny and seems to find men who avoid the friendzone offensive.

Piroko · 2013-02-05T13:13:45+00:00

There is no gender among men in a circle.

The fact that there may be women in the circle is a point quickly dismissed. To be accepted into the circle is to ask the circle to ignore the characteristics which make you different, whatever they may be. In the case of women this means ignoring gender.

Hence: "You don't count."

marauding-lunatic · 2013-02-05T17:07:59+00:00

So they see her as one of the guys? For all we know it could mean that they already respect her and accept her as one of their own. How is this a bad thing?

rebuildingMyself · 2013-02-05T08:48:11+00:00

Because it's perfectly fine to rub in everyone's faces your race/gender. As long as it's not white/male.

Leahn · 2013-02-05T09:03:13+00:00

"Yeah, but you don't count" is not a compliment. As the girl told you herself, "she sometimes wants to be seen as a woman."

A lot of women's self-steem is linked to her desireability.

I was discussing this with a friend (a female friend) just yesterday that went through a similar situation just last weekend. She had one of her male friends tell her "I see a man on you." I can attest you that it drove her absolutely nuts.

While I have no idea why the commenter said that it ingrains mysogynistic thinking (I cannot for the life of me see how it would be so), you should not think of that as a compliment. If the girl doesn't have a boyfriend, she most likely harbors a secret crush on the AMOG, and if he was the one that told that, it hit her like a truck in the nose.

salient_punt · 2013-02-05T15:29:54+00:00

There will never be enough glory or sympathy to appease a narcisist

rightsbot · 2013-02-05T05:06:17+00:00

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nimuymuynitantan · 2013-02-05T22:37:44+00:00

Some girls apparently like getting male attention sometimes for the simply fact of being an attractive female, some other apparently would much rather be just seen as "another of the group" instead of having all the guys sexually interested in her. Like some others commented already, maybe she is interested in one of the guys in the group and actually wish she would get attention from him instead of being treated just like he would treat one of his guyfriends. Think of it like the typicall "frienzoned" guy who, while enjoy the companie of female friends, it may hurt him on the inside to not to be considered a possible sexual partner by any of them in a near future.

And as for the other female comment, typicall vague use of the word misoginy, no one is hating on women here, she just may be on of those girls who doesn't like to be seen as "just a piece of meat", hence she refers as "misogynistic" at the fact of a man finding a women attractive and wishing to have some kind of sexual interaction with her, you know, kinda like a way some feminist would react.

Title	How the hell does that work???
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	17
Date	February 5, 2013 5:05 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/17x0om/how-the-hell-does-that-work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-the-hell-does-that-work.1605570 https://theredarchive.com/post/1605570

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