I can't cry

tiredfromlife2019 · 2024-01-03T19:19:24+00:00

Cry in private where no one can hear you especially women.

mohyo324 · 2024-01-03T19:09:26+00:00

same i cant cry when i feel like i want to

i read about this and it seems testosterone has some role in this (and also experiencing backlash from people after crying)

this breathing technique could help to decrease your stress

(in short inhale quickly exhale slowly)

elebrin · 2024-01-03T19:21:49+00:00

Yeah.

I didn't cry a tear when my mother passed. It's unlikely I will.

Instead, I took care of it. I managed the estate myself, I arranged the funeral, I notified everyone myself, I am getting her ashes spread, I created memory boxes for the people in my family with some of her things.

Because of me, there was no infighting in the family, there was no court battle, everyone will remember her the way she wanted to be remembered, and she will be laid to rest the way she wanted.

It's been more cathartic to do that work than it would be to sit and cry for a few hours.

TKD1989 · 2024-01-03T19:45:22+00:00

I've had women in college give me ugly looks when I naively opened up to them, thinking that they'd treat me like a human being. From giving me ugly looks to telling me not to cry in an angry tone to comparing me to an ex-boyfriend who manipulated her WTF...

Willnixon · 2024-01-03T20:16:32+00:00

Yep - same here.

45 now and haven’t cried since I was 11.

It’s not a problem, but I do feel a bit broken sometimes when something sad happens and I think I should cry but cannot access those emotions.

Kitchen-Historian371 · 2024-01-03T19:35:27+00:00

What benefit do you seek to unlock by being able to cry?

Morden013 · 2024-01-03T20:09:46+00:00

Yes. It is basically prerequisite for men, since if you drop a tear, you are considered a weakling. Not fair, but it is so.

Cowboy71113 · 2024-01-03T19:26:26+00:00

I can relate, there’s a lot of pressure to cry when it seems appropriate, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. When the time comes if you need to you will. Unique circumstances have pushed me to tears, but I usually need to be alone to do it. Don’t put so much pressure on it though, there’s nothing wrong with you, you just aren’t a big cryer, and that’s ok.

NameIs-Already-Taken · 2024-01-03T20:40:49+00:00

You cry more than me. I stopped when my Dad spanked me 45 years ago.

AdAcademic4290 · 2024-01-04T10:30:09+00:00

Men are bullied into not crying. Even when they are small children.

hendrixski · 2024-01-04T01:06:41+00:00

I mean, I can cry... but I also know the consequences of doing so. I've been taught this by girlfriends, and teachers, and TV.

Therefore I am forced to only cry in private, or at a psychologists office, or maybe with some of my closest guy friends.

Dormeo69 · 2024-01-04T05:42:03+00:00

24, to be honest, crying never reaches my mind.

I learned that the hard way by being physically abused as a child.

In addition to that, women lose all respect for you if you do it. It's actually insane. They always say that it's fine, but every man should know that it's not.

I shed some tears when the only important person in my life who actually cared for me died 9 years ago.

But I did that in private, of course.

Apart from these, I don't think I've cried more than 4 times in my life, and I can't do it either if I want to.

Do I want it? No.

I'm not sure why you want it, though.

Of course, there are benefits to crying, but forcing yourself to cry will achieve the opposite.

If it doesn't come naturally, forcing it is only adding more stress to yourself.

But if you want it, professional help might be required for you to find and fix the root cause in order to no longer repress this action.

Only 3 instances I can think of where you can cry as a man: - alone - with a psychologist (optional) - with a trustworthy male friend (optional)

flossraptor · 2024-01-04T02:33:35+00:00

It's considerably harder for men to cry than women. After puberty women have more prolactin and oxytocin, which are responsible for emotional behavior. Men's tear ducts are larger, resulting in reduced chance of overflowing. Testosterone may inhibit tear production. From an evolutionary perspective, crying is a social signal that is more advantageous to women.

parasaurkevin2406 · 2024-01-04T03:56:23+00:00

Loveontherockswithno · 2024-01-04T07:09:56+00:00

Watch Old Yeller. You’ll cry like a baby. Then watch Marley & Me. You’ll disintegrate into your couch like a puddle.

NewDemonStrike · 2024-01-04T11:42:18+00:00

I do not cry since my granddad passed away, if I remember clear it was around 2016. I just live with it, I punch a pillow if I'm furious or frustrated, listen to music if I'm sad.

No_Principle_5534 · 2024-01-04T19:27:44+00:00

Most crying finished when I was in my 20's and so dead inside now I hardly get up to that level of emotion. Life is better, but I work and worry so much, not much left inside to feel.

You want to make me cry? Give me words of appreciation.

Top_Recognition_1775 · 2024-01-04T19:34:37+00:00

I'm 50 years old, I haven't cried since the Reagan Administration.

I don't try to suppress it, it just doesn't happen.

hihrise · 2024-01-04T22:53:05+00:00

The last time I cried was a few months ago watching a video on Instagram of a schizophrenic guy watching TV. He just looked so empty inside whilst staring at the TV and it just encapsulated exactly how I felt at that exact moment. Probably a stupid thing to cry over but oh well.

I used to cry somewhat regularly when I was younger (although most people probably do) but as I got older it happened less and less until now when it basically doesn't happen anymore. It would be nice to be able to cry at stuff normal people cry about, but I don't really feel anything at all anymore which makes it harder to have those kinds of feelings

John_Bones23 · 2024-01-05T04:34:13+00:00

In my home when I cried the abuse got worse so I learned to not cry

sack12345678910 · 2024-01-06T10:12:10+00:00

I cry when I’m alone and no one can hear me.

Alarming_Draw · 2024-01-04T16:34:43+00:00

I think the thing is it depends on the individual.

For some men crying helps process pain so they can then move onto other stages.

For some maybe it does not.

I dont go in for the idea that it "definitely" doesnt/does for ALL men.

The thing to figure for each of us is: Do YOU feel like you NEED to cry?

Or do you feel like society is trying to force you to on the notion that its the "only way"?

If you do feel like you need to or want to then there are techniques and things that can help. And if you dont, there are obviously things out there that work for you too.

gigachud1337 · 2024-01-07T22:26:24+00:00

I don't think it's repressed I think it's biological

Women r much more prone to hysteria

Title	I can't cry
Author	Interesting-Beat2900
Upvotes	91
Comments	41
Date	January 3, 2024 3:40 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/18xma7q/i_cant_cry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-cant-cry.1242168 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242168

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